On edge

I can feel my mood shifting. I was kind of ok when I first got up this morning, the weekend was ok too. But now it's the afternoon I can feel it changing. I can feel the pressure building. I can feel it weighing me down, pushing me down even.

I just feel different inside. It almost feels like I have already done something about it, something bad. I can feel my heart beating. I become so much more aware of every part of me. All my limbs they get tense, kind of. They feel heavy. I find it hard to explain. This pressure doesn't just affect my head, my mood. It affects everything. And I have to physically do something about it to release it. Otherwise it builds and it builds. So I just have to do something.

If I act on it today, sooner rather than later, then it shouldn't get too bad. But if I leave it, well I will do something worse.

But what if I do something worse anyway? Just to stop it. Because yeah I can reduce the pressure. But it doesn't go away, I might just slow it down a little. So if I could make it go away for good....stop it in its tracks.

What am I even saying? It will never go away. Unless I do too.

I am on edge...so on edge...

I can absolutely relate to this..I could have wrote it myself. I wish I could you help more but know that I'm here for you!

I sense that this is going to be a bad week :/

sometimes we make this a reality by expecting it to be a bad week, we forget to look for the good things. I know that I am very guilty of this.

Try not to make this a self-fulfilling prophecy if you can. You can have a better week. What's good right now? Anything?

I can completely relate to how you're feeling. It is physically uncomfortable in every part of your body when you rapidly swing low. The good thing is it seems you're mindful to what it feels like. Being able to describe what you're feeling is the first step to changing it.

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I know I shouldn't think this way and its more likely to happen if I think that... I just know previous weeks haven't been good and I'm expecting no different this time.

Whats good? Everything is good except me. So pathetic I know.

I just have no idea how to change it.

Get it out. Write it down. Start doing things to take your mind off it. And remember no matter how bad the feeling, remember it will pass.

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me too secret....im so alone

Yes I agree with angel of bedlam I went through a similar situation myself just this weekend, I didnt know what to do but i took out a note book and frantically wrote anything that came into my mind or just how my body felt I just kept writing and writing... it did help me to at least take the edge off, I was triggered this weekend....... hang in there secret whisperer I am sorry you are feeling this way....I hope it will pass for you soon

I just wish this feeling would go away.