[Angel of Bedlam]

Does the fear of rejection keep you from doing things you need to do? I know for me, the fear of rejection is so strong that I literally become paralyzed- even when it's something I have to do. How do you cope with this fear and still accomplish what you need to do?

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[atomicc]

Unfortunately it does keep me from doing so much. :/.I also become paralyzed and can't make the words come out. It's usually when I have to ask for things. I find practicing what I'm going to say before helps me and thinking of all the possible things the other person could say.

[Neweesmea88]

Fear of rejection has basically ruined my entire life, and continues to on a regular basis so I hear you! You just have to keep reminding yourself every second of every day that it's just your mind telling you to feel this way and keep trying over and over, despite failures that may inadvertently reinforce these ideas. Constantly denying the thoughts in your head doesn't eradicate them but it does help quiet them! Good luck!

[Angel of Bedlam]

I'm proud cause I conquered this fear today and got a huge stressor in my life relieved. I usually never ask for what I need and then end up exploding because I'm so angry about not getting it. DBT has helped that.

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[technigal]

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

I'm proud cause I conquered this fear today and got a huge stressor in my life relieved. I usually never ask for what I need and then end up exploding because I'm so angry about not getting it. DBT has helped that.

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Great news.

[duende]

Yeah, this is definitely something I struggle with. I hate having to be in a situation where I have to ask for help on something. It's like I'm already anticipating being met with annoyance, or even worse...ignored. And lately it's also been with reaching out to make more friends. Ugh. It's definitely something that I know if I can conquer, I could have so much more satisfaction in life..in relationships, in general success.

Good topic. Thanks for that.

Oh, and most importantly, good job in your success today

[hawaii04]

Paralyzed . . .indeed. Some days I don't even want to leave the house. Just being outside in my own yard amongst my other neighbors is sometimes frightening. I always thought of myself as shy . . . little did I know it was this HUGE and what's really underneath it is even uglier. I feel like the freak that walks into the grocery store or wherever, especially when I'm alone . . .I always feel like someone's watching me and what their thinking can't be good. Even around nice people, like my neighbors that are very nice . . . . I still wonder what they say to their spouses behind my back. If I have to do it, I DO it with painstakingly difficult motivation, but I force myself. If I can put it off, I will hoping it'll be easier next time. Sometimes it turns out being done with more ease than imagined. Other times the whole event sucks and is stressful but at least I got it accomplished. GOD I HATE IT!

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by hawaii04

Paralyzed . . .indeed. Some days I don't even want to leave the house. Just being outside in my own yard amongst my other neighbors is sometimes frightening. I always thought of myself as shy . . . little did I know it was this HUGE and what's really underneath it is even uglier. I feel like the freak that walks into the grocery store or wherever, especially when I'm alone . . .I always feel like someone's watching me and what their thinking can't be good. Even around nice people, like my neighbors that are very nice . . . . I still wonder what they say to their spouses behind my back. If I have to do it, I DO it with painstakingly difficult motivation, but I force myself. If I can put it off, I will hoping it'll be easier next time. Sometimes it turns out being done with more ease than imagined. Other times the whole event sucks and is stressful but at least I got it accomplished. GOD I HATE IT!

My fear of rejection keeps me from asking for what I need. For me with other people (mainly acquaintances and strangers), I basically put on a mask and act like someone I'm not. I pretend to be outgoing and super confident even though internally I'm the exact opposite. The mask makes me feel safer because if I am rejected, at least I know it's for the person I pretend to be and not actually me myself.

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[technigal]

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

My fear of rejection keeps me from asking for what I need. For me with other people (mainly acquaintances and strangers), I basically put on a mask and act like someone I'm not. I pretend to be outgoing and super confident even though internally I'm the exact opposite. The mask makes me feel safer because if I am rejected, at least I know it's for the person I pretend to be and not actually me myself.

I do that too. People think that everything is good with me. I joke around and laugh and yet in reality I am crying in the inside. There were several weeks that I would not leave the house unless someone was with me. I couldn't do it, it was after my OD and I figured everyone was judging me. I went to my appointments but i had to medicate myself so that I could leave the house on my own. Not a fun place to be in.

Before I was in the hospital I was looking for work. For the first time in my life I did not get jobs I interviewed for. I went to so many interviews to be rejected time after time. I am still feeling the hurt from that. My last job was through a temp agency and while a great job I was being paid a lot less then I would have been making had I been a staff member. I had to process the invoices for my services and saw what they were paying the temp agency...

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by technigal

I do that too. People think that everything is good with me. I joke around and laugh and yet in reality I am crying in the inside. There were several weeks that I would not leave the house unless someone was with me. I couldn't do it, it was after my OD and I figured everyone was judging me. I went to my appointments but i had to medicate myself so that I could leave the house on my own. Not a fun place to be in.

Before I was in the hospital I was looking for work. For the first time in my life I did not get jobs I interviewed for. I went to so many interviews to be rejected time after time. I am still feeling the hurt from that. My last job was through a temp agency and while a great job I was being paid a lot less then I would have been making had I been a staff member. I had to process the invoices for my services and saw what they were paying the temp agency...

I had this happen this past winter. Prior to, any job I applied for I got. It was so hard. I literally hated leaving the house. That still happens, it happened last week and I just couldn't make myself do anything. Sometimes I just wanna wall myself off and forget the world.

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[technigal]

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

I had this happen this past winter. Prior to, any job I applied for I got. It was so hard. I literally hated leaving the house. That still happens, it happened last week and I just couldn't make myself do anything. Sometimes I just wanna wall myself off and forget the world.

I suspect if we didn't have kids we would. The only reason I get out of bed some days is I have to get the boy off to school. He also demands being fed multiple times a day every day!