[IGotThis]

So I have this thing with "I love you"... I read into different versions of "I love you" in different ways... Both from when I say it, and when someone says it to me...

If I am talking to somebody in a joking way, like a "haha you love me" type situation, or something similar, I will usually say "<3 you" or "<3 u" or "<3 you too" or something like that... For me, reading or saying that is very much a joking tone, or to express caring more than love...

"Love you" is a step up from that, and is for relationships that are a little closer... This is for people I care a lot about, and really do love and would do anything for, but is still intended in a lighthearted way, and isn't as meaningful as "I love you"....

"I love you" is for people that mean the world to me... That just the thought of something happening to them brings me to tears... That I would do anything for.... That I care about and love with the deepest fiber of my being... And when someone says this version to me, it puts me on top of the world, I feel important and truly loved and cared about...

When I say goodnight to people I care about, I say "I love you" because I want them to know how much they really matter to me, how important they are, how much I care, how much I love them.... So then when I just get "love you too" in return, my heart breaks, because I'm always hoping and wanting that intense love in return... I know it sounds dumb, that one letter couldn't change the meaning so drastically, but for me, it really does... Does anyone else have this issue at all?

[Maranara]

Growing up, I was never told "I love you" or shown any real signs of affection. In high school, when friends wanted to give hugs or said any version of "I love you" I would feel uncomfortable and never said it back. I've gotten over the hug stuff, but I still find it very hard to vocally show like or love and the only time it tends to come out is when I'm being abandoned.

It doesn't mean I don't feel the intense love. I just can't vocalize it well at all. I always feel bad when someone says they love me, in any form, and I sit there like a deer caught in headlights not knowing what to say back.

[IGotThis]

Originally Posted by Maranara

Growing up, I was never told "I love you" or shown any real signs of affection. In high school, when friends wanted to give hugs or said any version of "I love you" I would feel uncomfortable and never said it back. I've gotten over the hug stuff, but I still find it very hard to vocally show like or love and the only time it tends to come out is when I'm being abandoned.

It doesn't mean I don't feel the intense love. I just can't vocalize it well at all. I always feel bad when someone says they love me, in any form, and I sit there like a deer caught in headlights not knowing what to say back.

See, I've always been told "I love you" but then had those people leave, so I am used to that type of affection, but now I end up putting way more meaning into it than it should... If I say "I love you" and they only say "love you" I take that as they're about to leave me.... And I like super long hugs, because that body contact means they can't be gone, but then once they get awkward and peel me off, I feel like ***** for pushing it, and feel like them pulling away doesn't just mean from the hug... I don't know that it's any easier either way, but it sucks a lot for both...

[Malenursefl]

I say I love you to family. as thats the kind of love I have for them. the love of family. I told one woman this year I loved her after she said I love you. In the most romantic of terms and settings and she'd said it before first. To me, I love you is something very personal and is reserved for either family or a woman I really do love. I don't say it lightly or take it lightly.

[Aventurine]

Originally Posted by IGotThis

When I say goodnight to people I care about, I say "I love you" because I want them to know how much they really matter to me, how important they are, how much I care, how much I love them.... So then when I just get "love you too" in return, my heart breaks, because I'm always hoping and wanting that intense love in return... I know it sounds dumb, that one letter couldn't change the meaning so drastically, but for me, it really does... Does anyone else have this issue at all?

I wouldn't let it break your heart.. No need. We all have different bits of coloured cellophane over our eyes and our perceptions vary.

I had a boyfriend who only said "love you" or at times "ditto". But I knew he loved me, I understand that by adding the "I" it personalises it, but I knew he loved me all the same.
I also had an ex who added "I love you" onto everything, I mean everything.. and he turned out to not really love me at all. So try not to read too much into it. (hahaha another time where I can take my own advice).. I know I read into stuff like that all the time, I would put an xo and I would get only an x back...I would even go as far as back through all the messages and count how many x's I have been given over the course of a few days.. hmmm.. crazy!..It can be really frustrating, I know.

[IGotThis]

Originally Posted by Aventurine

I wouldn't let it break your heart.. No need. We all have different bits of coloured cellophane over our eyes and our perceptions vary.

I had a boyfriend who only said "love you" or at times "ditto". But I knew he loved me, I understand that by adding the "I" it personalises it, but I knew he loved me all the same.
I also had an ex who added "I love you" onto everything, I mean everything.. and he turned out to not really love me at all. So try not to read too much into it. (hahaha another time where I can take my own advice).. I know I read into stuff like that all the time, I would put an xo and I would get only an x back...I would even go as far as back through all the messages and count how many x's I have been given over the course of a few days.. hmmm.. crazy!..It can be really frustrating, I know.

See, I don't say it all the time to everything, but I also am always afraid I'm letting people think I don't love them when I don't tell them... For me, "I love you" means something different for each person.. It's not reserved for family or relationships, as you can love your friends as well... And when I get close enough to someone to say "I love you," I usually write a letter or send an email or something that explains exactly what I mean by "I love you" when I say it to them.... For me that helps reduce the opportunity for misinterpretation...

I have done the same thing, where I go back and see how long ago it's been since I got an "I love you" and not just "love you" or "love ya".... It always makes me feel worse though... I know I shouldn't look into it, and I should just accept the fact that I know she loves me and cares about me, but with all of my fears of abandonment, I can't just be okay with it... And it's hard, because we've even had conversations about her comfort level with how many times I say it, so I'm already trying to hold back a lot, and when the "few" times I do say it, she doesn't say it back, it's really frustrating.... I've found myself only saying "love you" back in hopes that it will hurt her as much as it hurts me, but then it never ever does, because I'm the only one who cares about the difference in "love you" and "I love you"....

[Aventurine]

I know its easier said then done, but how you feel isn't exactly always the reality of the situation. She might really love you but doesn't feel the need to express it in such a way as you do. I like to express my love, especially to lovers and often it isn't reciprocated in the way I like, but I know they love me. I also have to be very careful I don't read too much into things. Its always gets me into trouble. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself they love you anyway. I try very hard to practice what I preach

[IGotThis]

Originally Posted by Aventurine

I know its easier said then done, but how you feel isn't exactly always the reality of the situation. She might really love you but doesn't feel the need to express it in such a way as you do. I like to express my love, especially to lovers and often it isn't reciprocated in the way I like, but I know they love me. I also have to be very careful I don't read too much into things. Its always gets me into trouble. Just take a deep breath and tell yourself they love you anyway. I try very hard to practice what I preach

Yeah... I know I shouldn't read into it, but I do.... It drives me crazy, because for most things, if she says something that bothers me, or says something in a way that bothers me, I can ask her to try and say it a different way... I can't ask her to change on this one...