Why the stigma?

I don't understand why there is such a stigma, even in the mental health community, when the words "borderline personality disorder" are uttered. Ever since I received this dx my podocs and therapists have all been very surprised that I am a relatively pleasant/patient individual.

I mean sure I overreact to things but I have learned to internalize much of it or tone it down to an appropriate level. It sucks having to search high and low when you need a new therapist because so many of them run for cover when they hear I have this diagnosis. It feels like I have been branded forever :/

I understand what you mean and I too don't understand why there is this attitude that BPD is a certain set of symptoms that always display in a certain way. It's much more complex than that. As I understand it though, sufferers are still able to retain a level of functionality - perhaps that's one of the things observers find harder to understand, how can we keep going in spite of everything that happens? Perhaps that's what fuels the view that we're just attention seekers or drama queens or whatever other stupid and insensitive term that gets lobbied at us.

I would focus on going directly to those in the know if you can, a lot of therapists have a very limited understanding of what BPD actually is and I hate to say it but some of them just don't like it being known that they don't have training in a more specialist area. It's usually more of a reflection on them than you so try not to worry too much there. I really hope you can get in touch with someone better qualified, good luck.

caz in therapy we need to have good relationship with the T and bpd is about having difficult relationships with people and bad perception of things. therefore, the relationship T-patient is always difficult. even worse when T doesnt have experience with bpd people. on the other hand, most of time bpd doesnt come alone... substance abuse, eating disorders, so on...
oh and we are the most difficult to help.

I know what you mean. A lot of people don't even know what BPD is. And, a lot of therapist have no true experience with it either. It's almost as if nobody gives a ****. It's frustrating.

There's a mode called detached protector that many people with bpd function in where we appear pleasant and "normal". It's in this mode often therapist/pdocs think we may be getting better when we're not. We're just coping by not addressing the issues. https://sites.google.com/site/cognit...ality-disorder

I'm not saying this is you, but it's one possible explanation. I think I tend to function in this mode more often than not.

We can be difficult clients and prior to 2005 we tended to be viewed as a lost cause with little to no hope for any kind of recovery. DBT didn't come around until the early to mid 00's, and today people still have hard time finding a program or getting into a program if they can find one. I've yet to see any programs in my area for schema therapy or mbt both of which are suppose to be good for treating bpd. So therapies to treat bpd are still relatively new and in there infancy stage.

I often see these posts where people write they are not their disorder and that may be true, but their disorder is part of them. The way we act, interact with others, cope with stress is our behavior, many of us lack identity and have very rigid thinking and it's all dysfunctional. They're behaviors that we've lived with the majority of our lives and changing behaviors and perceptions of ourselves isn't easy. It's not like a mood disorder where you can pop a pill and oftentimes see improvement, and therapies for mood disorders have been around longer, and is probably much less demanding than treating a personality disorder.

I think there are some therapists that want to help but don't think they can and so they don't try for fear of letting themselves down, as well as, us. Then there's others that just don't want the hassle and aggravation.

In my opinion treating a personality disorder is much specialized than general therapy. I don't think a therapist who chooses not to treat a personality disorder is necessarily a bad therapist. That may just not be their expertise and have no desire for it to be their expertise. I think what makes a therapist bad are the ones that lack understanding, compassion and speak of us in a derogatory way.

I know how you feel. It's scary for me to even talk to people about it sometimes because for some reason people think when you're borderline that you're incurable.

The disorder is internally stigmatized, because of high needs clients (heavy service users) and a long history of ineffective treatments. How is someone supposed to improve if the therapy doesn't address the core issues? Clinicians who have never worked with BPD clients can also be judgemental towards them, because they heard stories from colleagues.

I am very lucky. My T knows a lot about BPD and is very positive of me finding ways to cope. My pdoc runs the DBT clinic in the city I live in. Both my T and pdoc were assigned to me and the assignments were made before the diagnosis, I was just waiting for my appointments. I am very lucky that my pdoc agreed to take me on as a full-time patient, my original appointment was just for a med check.

Thanks for the link. I agree with a lot of what was written. I do tend to just "go with the flow" to not cause problems.

I don't know about any of you, but I don't like the idea of being told that my personality is flawed. I take it a lot more personally than my bipolar diagnosis.

Others have weighed in here and summed it up pretty well I think. During my search for a DBT provider or some kind of treatment over the last 5 months, I have learned that to be a DBT provider requires specialized training.
I've heard horror stories about ignorant psychiatric professionals, but I was relatively lucky. The therapist I had from age 15 - 19 didn't turn his back on me when I was finally diagnosed in 2011. He continued seeing me until my place came up on the DBT waiting list. He was helpful, but at a certain point he was unable to help me progress any further due to a lack of experience with PD's on his part.
I generally find that people don't know what BPD is, more than that they have a preconceived negative notions. I agree with the others that the disorder may not define a person, but at least for me personally, I think it will always be a part of me.
I'm able to hide the demons from most I come into contact with (even those who would say they know me pretty well), especially now that I'm sober. I didn't realize there was a name for this concept until just a minute ago, but it's been my primary coping method since cleaning up my act. Many would call me nice, intelligent, and normal. Little do they know.
There seems to be a clear lack of public education reguarding BPD, and in my area treatment is impossible to get if you don't have Medicade, or are able to shell out hundreds of dollars out of pocket persession. I was lucky to have finally found a therapist a few weeks ago who will see me this week. Sure he's 30 miles away, but.. he takes my insurance so I can aford the co-pays, and he seems legit. I'm more than happy to take the help with both hands and run with it at any cost. I don't care so much about the stigma as much as I'm fed up with who I am.
Best of luck.