[SaraSkyblue]

I really like this guy....I just recently posted about him. He is nice, understanding, soo caring, he never triggers me, he is SO patient, and he wants to help me. He has told me he likes me too, so that's cool. But nothing in life is that easy.

There are three of us that live here. Me, him, and another girl. She likes him too....REALLLLLY likes him. But he doesn't want to date her. He likes me .-. But I don't think you can understand how much she likes him...I feel SO bad for liking him. I moved out once so I wasn't in the way, but ended up having to come back. I really don't want to hurt her. He says not to run, which is all I want to do. He says he has talked to her about them not dating, but still. I feel so guilty to like him, AND we all live together so I feel like I'm intruding.

How do I handle this? He won't even touch me when she's around so we don't hurt her, but what kind of way is that to live? It's REALLY hard on me with things this way. Cuz she follows us EVERYWHERE so we get almost no time together. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I feel like I am hiding this secret and I don't like that feeling. I just really have been needing affection lately, too. I feel really lonely and unwanted, and this doesn't help.

What is the right thing to do here? I feel like I'm wrong no matter what.....like somehow she has a "claim" on him...she may have lived here before me, but I've liked him for a long time now :C UGH this whole thing gives me a headache!

[Maranara]

That's a hard one with no real answers. When you're at home, you're just roommates doing things that roommates do, and I think that is the right way to be though I get how awkward it could feel. She doesn't have a claim on him, I can tell you that.

You need to plan time away with him....go on a date as you would with anyone else you liked. Maybe you two could discreetly text each other while at home things you'd like to tell one another and keep from the other girl but in a way she doesn't get you're texting one another.

[technigal]

I get how stressful this is. I dated a roommate's ex-boyfriend. She said she was long over him (it had been 10 years since she dated him) but she was very jealous of our relationship.

I had another roommate who really liked a guy but he only wanted to be friends with her, he wanted to date me. We did go out a couple of times but it was stressful on me and so I dropped things. It sucked as I think the guy was good for me. I wish I had done what was right for me instead of letting guilt make my decision.

[hawaii04]

You have every reason and right to feel the ways that you do. I am sorry it is an uncomfortable situation. If he isn't interested in her, but in you, you didn't purposely create that. Don't allow that to become a problem that stands in the way of what could be something good and enjoyable. I agree it should be kept discreet for now, and I admire you and him not wanting to hurt her. But there will come a time when, if it is meant to be, all will work out and you won't have to be concerned about her anymore ~ as you shouldn't have to. In the meantime, make it all that you are able and it will work itself into place. There is common courtesy, but you have feelings too and you cannot always protect another person at your expense.

[Truth in Ruin]

Time for plan of action. Do they have a history? That's the important question. If they do, then you might want to keep things discreet like you are now. If they don't have a history... I would go for it, and if she can't deal with it- she needs to drive-thru at a medium pace.

These are my opinions, they are not suggestions.

[SaraSkyblue]

Thanks guys. A thing happened here and we ended up putting everything out in the open and talking it all out. Then from there I decided I was going to go for it, no I don't want to hurt her, but it's not my fault if he likes me and not her. I feel like that's kinda selfish, but I feel like I deserve to be happy (which sounds selfish too xD) She isn't really handling this all well...but I did the best I could. I've liked people who didn't like me back before, it sucks, but I've survived.

[hawaii04]

Originally Posted by SaraSkyblue

Thanks guys. A thing happened here and we ended up putting everything out in the open and talking it all out. Then from there I decided I was going to go for it, no I don't want to hurt her, but it's not my fault if he likes me and not her. I feel like that's kinda selfish, but I feel like I deserve to be happy (which sounds selfish too xD) She isn't really handling this all well...but I did the best I could. I've liked people who didn't like me back before, it sucks, but I've survived.

It's best that you got it out in the open. It's tough when it seems selfish, even when we know it really isn't. She will be alright; people do have to realize that it isn't always going to be the way they'd prefer it in life and learn how to handle it. In the end things may just work out real good for you and her in spite of it all. I wish you well.