[LivingWithLaura]

Hi Everyone,

After years of thinking I have bipolar disorder (due to previous diagnosis), I've recently started work with a new pdoc who swears I am 100% NOT bipolar. I think the issues I'm dealing with are at least similar to those of BPD, however when I asked the doc if I have BPD he said he wouldn't tell me what he thinks - just that I shouldn't be caught up on labels, and that no matter what we call my problem, it's MY job to fix it.

Here's my most distressing problem:

I've been going through a severe depression with crippling anxiety for at least three months. I have a boyfriend of 10 months, who I was head over heels for until I started feeling depressed. I really felt sure that he was the one for me, for very valid reasons based on how well he treats me, how much fun we were having together, our openness and honesty, common values, and unbelievable physical chemistry. Since feeling depressed, I have not been able to feel the same way about my boyfriend. I do not feel "in love," I find him irritating when before he made me laugh, it's difficult for me to want to have sex, and many nights I would rather be alone then next to him. He has expressed a commitment to see our relationship through my dark time, and I desperately want to feel the way I used to feel.

Can anyone relate to this? Is this "splitting"? Are my feelings gone for good?

I feel SO lost...and the last thing I want to do is hurt my boyfriend more than the depression already has...

[greentires4me]

when we are depressed with see it through dark lenses we are so happy to be alone we crave it. we don't enjoy things anymore especially sex...even though it shapped through my relationship with a guy I know as my "Booty Call" it was fun at the start but soon as it went dark in my mind I didn't want to have it anymore. I stopped answering his calls and his texts it was like everything felt better for the time.

If you can keep having him make a joke so you can laugh all will be saved i am sure...
Its all about the happiness around him the way you feel when your in his arms his cuddling you in bed. At first it might think your alone and it doesn't feel good but push those feelings out for the small time its wonder lust. hug him each and every day or ask for a hug its the simple things you can make you feel a bit better.

I don't know if you can fix mental illness but I guess you certainly try.

[foreverlonely]

Originally Posted by LivingWithLaura

Hi Everyone,

After years of thinking I have bipolar disorder (due to previous diagnosis), I've recently started work with a new pdoc who swears I am 100% NOT bipolar. I think the issues I'm dealing with are at least similar to those of BPD, however when I asked the doc if I have BPD he said he wouldn't tell me what he thinks - just that I shouldn't be caught up on labels, and that no matter what we call my problem, it's MY job to fix it.

Here's my most distressing problem:

I've been going through a severe depression with crippling anxiety for at least three months. I have a boyfriend of 10 months, who I was head over heels for until I started feeling depressed. I really felt sure that he was the one for me, for very valid reasons based on how well he treats me, how much fun we were having together, our openness and honesty, common values, and unbelievable physical chemistry. Since feeling depressed, I have not been able to feel the same way about my boyfriend. I do not feel "in love," I find him irritating when before he made me laugh, it's difficult for me to want to have sex, and many nights I would rather be alone then next to him. He has expressed a commitment to see our relationship through my dark time, and I desperately want to feel the way I used to feel.

Can anyone relate to this? Is this "splitting"? Are my feelings gone for good?

I feel SO lost...and the last thing I want to do is hurt my boyfriend more than the depression already has...

Hi
You have explained exactly what I am dealing with.
Every therapy session my therapist wants to talk about this relationship.
My therapist has been the one keeping this relationship together. If it wasn't for him I would have ended my relationship as well.
I am in a severe depression as well and I feel I have nothing to offer my boyfriend. I feel gross and want him to find someone so much better.

But I also get so mad at things he does when we are apart during the week.
The usual splitting.
I don't know what to do either. He wants to stay with me through the depression as well.
This really doesn't help to hear only puts on more pressure.
Is it just the depression or is it the relationship

I don't know how to deal with this either. It is constantly on my mind. I have been constantly pushing my boyfriend away. He jokes if we are on or off every weekend. My therapist says I am being unkind to boyfriend with this behaviour. But I can t help it as I am so depressed.

I hope you find some clarity on your situation.

[LivingWithLaura]

Originally Posted by foreverlonely

Hi
You have explained exactly what I am dealing with.
Every therapy session my therapist wants to talk about this relationship.
My therapist has been the one keeping this relationship together. If it wasn't for him I would have ended my relationship as well.
I am in a severe depression as well and I feel I have nothing to offer my boyfriend. I feel gross and want him to find someone so much better.

But I also get so mad at things he does when we are apart during the week.
The usual splitting.
I don't know what to do either. He wants to stay with me through the depression as well.
This really doesn't help to hear only puts on more pressure.
Is it just the depression or is it the relationship

I don't know how to deal with this either. It is constantly on my mind. I have been constantly pushing my boyfriend away. He jokes if we are on or off every weekend. My therapist says I am being unkind to boyfriend with this behaviour. But I can t help it as I am so depressed.

I hope you find some clarity on your situation.

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this too. It's pretty torturous.

The only thing I've managed to do so far to help the situation is to just try and stop worrying about how things will end up and take things one day at a time. I know that I can't figure out how I'm going to feel when the depression lifts right now, so it's not productive to obsess about it constantly. This is easier said than done, I know, but I was pretty successful using this mindset over the weekend. I still didn't feel that "head over heels" feeling like I used to, but I was able to be around my boyfriend without feeling irritated, and even enjoy myself a bit. Nothing compared to how I used to feel, but at least I had a break from the 24/7 hell that has been my existence the last few months. Right now it's all about small victories....

I wish you the best!

[foreverlonely]

Originally Posted by LivingWithLaura

I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this too. It's pretty torturous.

The only thing I've managed to do so far to help the situation is to just try and stop worrying about how things will end up and take things one day at a time. I know that I can't figure out how I'm going to feel when the depression lifts right now, so it's not productive to obsess about it constantly. This is easier said than done, I know, but I was pretty successful using this mindset over the weekend. I still didn't feel that "head over heels" feeling like I used to, but I was able to be around my boyfriend without feeling irritated, and even enjoy myself a bit. Nothing compared to how I used to feel, but at least I had a break from the 24/7 hell that has been my existence the last few months. Right now it's all about small victories....

I wish you the best!

That's great you had an enjoyable weekend. The one day at a time seems like a good idea. I try that as well and I also remind myself if we break up it is not a catastrophe and he and I and all our children will be ok. Take care