[DarkFairy4]

Sometimes when I am with someone or out somewhere (or when talking to someone) things get really fuzzy and blurry, nothing seems real and I cannot focus. I get sort of confused or lost when this is happening. I feel completely out of place almost like I am not really there.

Why does this happen? Is this part of BPD?

Thanks for anyone who can help

[MichikoUsagi]

UGH. This has been happening to me recently. I have no idea where it came from but it's extremely obnoxious and worrying.

[ImNotHere]

I have something similar happen to me sometimes. I am not sure if it is part of BPD or not, anyone know?

[Starling.]

I think it could be depersonalization / derealization, in which case yes, I believe it is fairly common with BPD (and a whole bunch of other things!)

Hope you're okay.

[Verity81]

Yes it is part of BPD and anxiety. I think I get it when anxiety gets too much and my brain goes into shut down mode as a defence mechanism.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ginaaa22]

This has never happened to me but as an RN im thinking it is a coping mechanism of a perceived threat even if it is subconsciously. Have you tried taking xanax or something to help you relax if your in that type of situation? Like going out? THat might help relax you

[DarkFairy4]

No I am not on any meds and there is no way to relax when it is happening, it is almost like I have no control over it. I feel like I get stuck and have no idea what is happening. I could be talking to someone and then things get fuzzy /blurry and I lose all focus, I feel like I am not real, sometimes things seem like they are in slow motion. It is so weird and very scary for me which is why I am wondering if this is part of BPD.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by DarkFairy4

Sometimes when I am with someone or out somewhere (or when talking to someone) things get really fuzzy and blurry, nothing seems real and I cannot focus. I get sort of confused or lost when this is happening. I feel completely out of place almost like I am not really there.

Why does this happen? Is this part of BPD?

Thanks for anyone who can help

That sounds like disassociation. It sounds more like PTSD to me, but there is a lot of overlap and by the end of the day the diagnosis doesn't really matter, its the symptoms that matter. Have you talked to a therapist about this?

[DarkFairy4]

My therapist hasn't said much about it because we are covering some other issues right now. I just don't understand it and she hasn't diagnosed me as bpd yet, so that is why I wanted to know if this was a symptom of it. It is really frustrating and scary. I do not think I have ptsd so I really don't know why this happens.

[henrydavidtherobot]

Sounds like derealization or dissociation. It happens to me all of the time. It is common with BPD. It's a coping mechanism of the brain to avoid pain.

What you've described is DEFINITELY derealization/depersonalization. If your google the words, you'll find a forum all about what you've described. Derealization can be part of BPD, it can also be symptomatic of anxiety, also PTSD. I've had it for decades. No medication has ever really taken it away and it definitely has a negative effect upon my life.

[DarkFairy4]

Thank you everyone for the responses. I told my therapist about this and she said she didn't know why I do that, zone out. She said that I have enough symptoms to be borderline but she isn't going to label me yet. She didn't even relate this to borderline or derealization.

She said something like there maybe something wrong with me health wise. Usually these experiences do not last long, maybe like 30 seconds to a minute and then I snap out of it. Is that normal. Gosh I am so confused right now because my therapist is telling me one thing and everyone else is telling me something else

Oh, wow. I hate to tell you, but....I feel quite sure that your therapist is a ding-dong - or just very inexperienced. There's a bunch of info online. Here's a forum: Depersonalization Community

[Fuzzybear]

[DarkFairy4]

Thanks, yea I think she is just inexperienced. She is very biased and believes that if someone is truly borderline that they are more manipulative, dramatic, and attention seeking. I cannot believe she did not connect the dots between that and borderline, like it seems so obvious to me, how does a trained professional not know? I will bring this up again next week.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by DarkFairy4

My therapist hasn't said much about it because we are covering some other issues right now. I just don't understand it and she hasn't diagnosed me as bpd yet, so that is why I wanted to know if this was a symptom of it. It is really frustrating and scary. I do not think I have ptsd so I really don't know why this happens.

Have you talked to your therapist about this symptom?

[shezbut]

Originally Posted by DarkFairy4

She said something like there maybe something wrong with me health wise. Usually these experiences do not last long, maybe like 30 seconds to a minute and then I snap out of it. Is that normal. Gosh I am so confused right now because my therapist is telling me one thing and everyone else is telling me something else

In my experience, it's best to have these episodes checked by a neurologist...just in case. As the symptoms are remarkably similar to complex partial seizures. I know, as I get both! For that reason, my BPD was simply overlooked prior to me urging my pDoc to test me. He previously assumed that these experiences were merely sz's. It becomes rather complicated, But, I can assure you that it is possible to suffer both Epilepsy AND Dissociative Disorders, NOS.

[bpdtransformation]

Darkfairy,

Did you say it mainly happens when you are with someone or talking to someone? Do you notice if it is when you've been talking to them for a while, or does it happen randomly when with somebody, right away? And can it also happen when you are in a public place alone?

It seems like there is probably a link between the stress - perhaps the fear of being close to someone else and them getting more of a chance to know you and talk to you personally - and the onset of these fugue/dissociative/depersonalization symptoms. Perhaps your mind feels unconsciously threatened by talking to other people, and it is trying to protect you because it fears that you some traumatic experience from the past may reoccur in the present, even if that fear is not realistic.

These symptoms are described in a book I read by Lawrence Hedges, Working the Organizing Experience. He relates these symptoms' appearance to the earliest periods of preverbal memory, in which neglectful or traumatic experience is internalized, and then reexperienced with various strange defensive symptoms, like you describe, in later life.

Sorry if this is too personal - may I also ask what your experience has been in therapy so far, is it generally useful? It sounds like you have at least some doubts about it.

[DarkFairy4]

Originally Posted by bpdtransformation

Darkfairy,

Did you say it mainly happens when you are with someone or talking to someone? Do you notice if it is when you've been talking to them for a while, or does it happen randomly when with somebody, right away? And can it also happen when you are in a public place alone?

It seems like there is probably a link between the stress - perhaps the fear of being close to someone else and them getting more of a chance to know you and talk to you personally - and the onset of these fugue/dissociative/depersonalization symptoms. Perhaps your mind feels unconsciously threatened by talking to other people, and it is trying to protect you because it fears that you some traumatic experience from the past may reoccur in the present, even if that fear is not realistic.

These symptoms are described in a book I read by Lawrence Hedges, Working the Organizing Experience. He relates these symptoms' appearance to the earliest periods of preverbal memory, in which neglectful or traumatic experience is internalized, and then reexperienced with various strange defensive symptoms, like you describe, in later life.

Sorry if this is too personal - may I also ask what your experience has been in therapy so far, is it generally useful? It sounds like you have at least some doubts about it.

Thank you for your response. Yes it mostly seems to happen when I am talking to people, like for example my doctor, my therapist, the lady at the checkout counter etc. Sometimes it happens when we talk awhile, other times it happens right away.

I have seen my therapist for almost 5-6 months now. So far it has been up and down with her, sometimes I like her other times I do not, and I don't think she understands me very well. She doesn't seem to get things right away, for instance the first time we talked about bpd she was automatically turned off by the idea and said If I had it I would be more manipulative and dramatic, then a week later she talked to her supervisor and looked over a book about it and said that I fit enough criteria to be diagnosed. So at times I get confused, like does she even know what she is talking about? How does she not know about these things right away? I feel like she has an idea of what someone is and if you don't fit exactly that then you don't have that.

It has been frustrating and I almost quit a couple of times but I kept going. She does give me some useful ideas but for a lot of it I do not feel it has been as much help as I expected it to be. I am hoping now that I finally got the official diagnosis that it will be more effective and helpful.

[doglover1979]

I have this kind of thing happen.

I see it as a blessing to have the visual disturbances. Because of the visual symptoms I can know it is happening and have learned to ground myself pretty quickly.

There have been times when I have dissociated and not known. That is much scarier.