Doctor thinks I'm not mentally fit to move :(

Today, I went to a general doctor that I saw once before for anxiety to refill my sleep and anxiety meds and he kept asking if I really thins I am fit to move to China with Cyclothymia (idk if the BPD is on my notes or not) and my anxiety. He expressed concern for my health and asked if I thought of hurting myself and asked if I was lying when I said no. He asked if I have a plan with my family to move back home if I can't take it.

I feel so discouraged. I'm already scared about having an episode overseas and acting out from being alone. I know that he is a doc and is just looking out for my best interest--but ouch! I need encouragement, not fuel for my mental fire.

What am I supposed to do? Not follow my dreams, take risks, advance my career, or enhance my emotional independence because I have mental health issues. They shouldn't compromise my life!

Guidance and/or encouragement would be appreciated.

I don't think that anyone, mental health or not, should shy away from their dreams. If you can do it, then do it!
He sounds like a nice doctor, but maybe covering his butt a little too much? Just because someone has mental illness doesn't mean they should have a career or move somewhere new. You'll do just fine and it'll be a great experience for you

I tend to agree with your doctor. Moving even to another state comes with a kind of culture shock, and going to a country like China, where emotions are kept tightly under wraps, seems like a terrible idea. What dreams are you wanting to follow to China? And you're going alone? Do you speak the language? DO you have a plan to get back home? How do you plan to support yourself in China? Is this a move for work with certain aspects like employment and housing already worked out? I could maybe see that, but just to go blind into another country with an ongoing mental instability seems almost suicidal in itself...

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I have a job and will have a place to live shortly after I arrive. I am going alone and I don't speak Mandarin. My dream is to travel. The only way to accomplish that dream is to travel.

As they say, the thing most people regret about life is the things they didn't do and didn't try.

This could be the best time of your life you will never know unless you go. If things don't work out you have a family to return to. The doc sounds nice to me too, just doing his job.

HD, I went to Cambodia and Vietnam recently, I went alone and it was my first solo backpacking adventure. My dream is to travel. I had only been put on a mental health plan a month before. But I was going anyway.

I rocked up in a country where I didn't have any accommodation, I didn't speak the language and I was jet lagged and exhausted. But it was the BEST thing I have done so far. The whole time I was away, (just under a month) I never ever felt I was at all suffering from anxiety or depression or any sense of abandonment or isolation and helplessness.. If anything it expanded my mind and my ego was diminished somewhat, I met some AMAZING people from all walks of life..

I do not know your circumstances, but have you got an end date when you will return? maybe if you had that then you and your family could feel some sense of security regarding your doctors concerns.

Im not saying go against what your doc recommended.. but what I am saying is, an opened mind can do wonders.

In saying that I moved interstate recently and although I love it here, I hit a wall, and have been very very depressed, yet that is driving me to get further help and seek out things I wouldn't have done in my previous town..like sign up for Roller Derby!

Anyhoo, do what your heart tells you.. what's the alternative??

I went to Prague this summer. It was great, but I had a hypomanic episode and then a depressive episode. I was sad and very anxious the whole time. However, I still met lovely people and learned so much about myself. I learned that my mental health was preventing me from accomplishing my dream to live abroad. That prompted me to get more help when I moved back to the states. I was afterwards diagnosed with Cyclothymia and BPD, which really helped me understand why things were harder for me and helped me to understand how to be more stable. In addition, in Prague, I often felt isolated and anxious because I was hanging out with people that weren't good for me and drinking all of the time because that is what everyone else was doing. I learned to step back and do what I want. I learned lots of skills to help me acclimate to a new country. I have had two Ts tell me that I will be happier in a bigger city and that staying in my college town will deteriorate my mental health.

I don't think that anyone can learn if they stay in a box. My family doesn't know about my disorders (besides anxiety) and is not the type of family that could support me in that regard anyway. What I need to do (I think) is do what I want, but keep my mental state in mind so that I won't needlessly suffer.

Don't get me wrong. I am VERY scared, but I have to try, right?

Euhm, no sir.

It goes without saying that the culture is different. But a culture shock comes from expecting the same where everything is going to be different. You wont get a shock if you measure your expectations correctly.
Yes, coming off a plane jet-lagged and slightly confused about how to get to your accommodation, without knowing where to buy necessities, who to talk to for this or that, without knowing people can be tough, but those feelings usually go away after a night's rest. Today travel is easier than ever. You can practically learn everything you need to survive in any given foreign town through the Internet. And you don't really need Chinese to survive in China today, especially in the big cities.

It's a mistake to assume that your problems will all stay behind when you leave for a new country, but you might well need that change of scenery, away from all the people, places and queues that remind you of your insecurities and dissatisfaction. A new town, a new country is one of the best way to start anew; take it from someone who is in China right now.

Tristen,

Ah! I couldn't agree more! I can't wait for my fresh start. I DO recognize though that I will have my issues no matter where ever I go.

You know what it is going to be the same when you enter a country but what you need is someone you meet to be a helping hand for you to help you acclimatize to that culture, which will help you a great deal.

You need to open up and just be "me ideal"...funny, smart, and lovable.

if you have episodes how are you willing to handle them now that your out of country?

I plan to pull up DBT worksheets online or post on here or contact a friend. In Prague, I learned that traveling to a new part of the city when I was emotional really helped me. I'm pretty good at emotional validation, not harming myself, and have been much better at not looking at things so black and white. I do struggle with hopelessness and self-loathing though, but I think that identifying that is really helpful.

you know HD, when i first read your post, the first thing that came to mind
was the shock i felt when i moved from michigan to ohio & i didn't even know
i had BPD then, but just having to learn a whole new set of friends was a bit much for me. i used to drive 3hrs every weekend back to michigan because i was so lonely( i didn't really know anyone in ohio).

so i though, hmmm....china, another country,BPD, i don't know if that's a good idea,sounds like it's got disaster written all over it.
but, you gotta go after your goals & chase your dreams( that's the only way they'll come true!) then i thought about why i left michigan & came to ohio
(to start my own business & follow my dreams) & i thought " this is a tough one HD, i'm gonna have to eat some dinner and come back and think about this one before i comment".

so about maybe an hour goes by & i come back to the post...
come to find out you've been to prague before and that makes it a lot easier for me to give my 3 cents..

follow your dreams....go, do it. do it for you if you don't you'll always be going through life wondering "what if"

that's not something i ever wanted to do, i believe in taking risks, somethings (many) have blown up in my face, but a lot of good things have happened too.

i followed my dreams and the business/financial side of my life is great.
i own my own business and can do what i want when i want (freedom)
( i was never a good employee anyway!! hee hee) but if i don't come
to ohio, if i stay in michigan, i wouldn't be as successful as i am today.
yes i have my problems,shortcomings, issues(BPD,alcohol,relationships,etc)
but i'm doing everything i can to live life to the fullest, it's the only way i'm gonna be able to break out of this.

i think you would be doing yourself a disservice if you didn't go
as simple as that.

there's gonna be some times you're gonna be lonely& some nights will be tough, but the experience, it's gotta be priceless, good luck HD, i wish you well

And what are the advantages of staying where you are?? (a partially rhetorical question)

Can you not find an English speaking pdoc out there? Start doing a search online. Also there are some great phone apps for learning a language. It might distract you from the nerves.
I say go for it tiger! I mean if it don't work out you can come back. It's not like you have to stay there for the rest of your life

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There are no advantages to staying where I am besides not dealing with the stress of moving and being close to my friends and having my T. However, staying close to my friends in detrimental too. They aren't always good for me. In the states, I can't get a big kid job with an English bachelor's. It is too late to apply for grad schools. Also, my GRE was poor and so I need something big to supplement my resume in order to get into a good grad school with funding. Teaching abroad looks great on a resume.

I am trying to figure out how to get a therapist and a doctor for medicine overseas. Fortunately, I'm not on anything that I have to take everyday. I'm not sure who to ask though. The internet has been only slightly helpful and I don't want to ask my recruiter because mental illness is more stigmatized over there.

Can you get in the teach for america program or some such?

hankster, why?

And no anyway because my degree is not in education.

I want to travel the world

hdtr,
You are do something you have dreamed of doing...way to go! My sister went to China several years ago to adopt a baby girl (her best friend's daughter)...she said it was amazing. Good for you on recognizing your issues will travel with you, but that they don't have to BE you. Do you know what kind of support may be available over there, should you need it?

BTW, what will you be doing over there?

I will be teaching English to young adults and older teens for the biggest private English School in the world.

Wow! That is awesome; and I would bet, very rewarding! You are teaching people skills that are vital in today's world....I will be taking Spanish in college (large Hispanic communities where I live), but it may be a long time before I am fluent; like, a really long time lol.

Go for it. In my experience, general physicians have been overly cautious with me. I think though it would be best to have some kind of safety plan in place.

Also: where in China are you going?