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#651
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Bad bad day. It will never get any better.
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![]() Bill3, Britneigh
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#652
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Hate gettin up for work early
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![]() Bill3
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#653
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Doing ok. Going out and done some chores.... good for me to drive and feel the sunshine.
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Wifey, artist, daydreamer. |
![]() Bill3
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#654
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Totally just caught myself trying to store the ice cream in the sink.
Gah, I'm zoning out more and more. Thank goodness most people are used me being quiet or I'd be getting caught out not listening a lot lol |
![]() Bill3
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#655
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Just have to get through today one moment at a time
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![]() Bill3
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#656
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Feeling very agitated today. In forgot about this aspect of my personality because it was all but gone when I was on my meds. I've been back on them for 19 days now.
__________________
...In the darkness I will meet my creators And they will all agree, that I’m a suffocator
![]() -Daughter |
![]() Bill3
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#657
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Am actually on another day of calmness. It's scaring me how laid back I've been!!! But then maybe I should just enjoy it cos it never last as more than a week! Xx
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![]() Bill3
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#658
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Take it back. I've just triggered myself off
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![]() Bill3, Britneigh, technigal
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#659
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Thank you alcohol for getting me through each day
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
![]() Bill3
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![]() trying2survive
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#660
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going outside, been fooling around on this computer enough..i need some more stimulation hee hee, i wonder what kind of trouble i can get into, my impulsivity is getting the best of me again!
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I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper! ![]() ![]() |
#661
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Worse than yesterday. I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.
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![]() Bill3, Britneigh, waggiedog
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#662
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Too much sun at the Canada day celebrations....now I have heat exhaustion...
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
![]() Bill3, waggiedog
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#663
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OK today!
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![]() Bill3, waggiedog
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#664
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Everyday is the same as the one before, and the same will come tomorrow - long endless nothing, no social interaction, not living, just breathing through eternal sorrow
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![]() Bill3, waggiedog
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#665
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keyboard seized up this morning, fought hard to resist the urge to throw it!
i did slam it on the desk here a time or two and kicked a trash can. LOL! stupid thing really made me mad! grrrr!
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper! ![]() ![]() |
![]() Bill3
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor, waggiedog
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#666
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Had a date planned but then chickened out at the last minute after having a pretty terrible panic attack. So basically I ruined things. Crying in my room alone now and just genuinely hating myself.
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![]() Bill3, waggiedog
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#667
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For the first day in a while I feel genuinely okay. I drank a lot last night to the point I don't remember much (I had a conversation with someone that I don't even remember oops) and posted two really suicidal posts on IG...I woke up not remembering posting them. But I got myself together, got dressed and went out and rode a few horses. I've lost 13 lbs in the last 2 weeks. I'm really quite excited. I'm super close to my next "goal" weight. My pants are starting to feel baggy again. I like it. I feel confident to ride again and am not feeling self conscious about it and worried that I'm going to hurt the horses.
I just feel good right now, like a normal person and I just feel like maybe this is how the rest of society feels daily. I like it and hope the good days stick around. |
![]() waggiedog
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor, Bill3
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#668
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panic attack
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![]() Bill3, Britneigh, JadeAmethyst, technigal, waggiedog
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#669
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The anxiety just won't give me a break today.
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![]() JadeAmethyst, waggiedog
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![]() Achy Turtle Armor, Bill3
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#670
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Still feeling good. Loving life today
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__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
![]() waggiedog
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#671
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Thankfully, I caught a break today.
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![]() Bill3
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#672
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Okay so we ended up having the date anyway, just at a different place since I had the panic attack from driving. She was really nice and it actually turned out very well.
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![]() Anonymous100185, waiting4
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![]() Bill3, detachedangst, technigal
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#673
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A hates the fact that I selfdiagnoased with BPD and she wont realize that it's because I'm underage. I can tell she despites me for it and it does make me feel ashamed and phony too... plus, she just compared me to her abusive ex who gave her PTSD hah. I'm such lovely ****ing person.
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![]() Bill3, waiting4
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#674
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Got invited to a 4th cookout...don't want to go so made up some excuse. It was lame, but I think he knew I didn't want to anyway, so he let me have it.
I'll stay home with my dog, who hates fireworks. When will being alone, stop feeling safe???
__________________
![]() Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
![]() Bill3, shezbut
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#675
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Getting drunk and just not giving a **** tonight
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![]() Bill3, shezbut
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![]() waiting4
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Closed Thread |
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