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#401
May 29, 2014, 02:55 AM
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Hugs
 to everyone I am anxious about my first therapy session today. Xxx |
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#402
May 29, 2014, 03:52 AM
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Quote:
Good luck Hun! I'm about to go into my DBT group! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Verity  
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#403
May 29, 2014, 04:15 AM
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Quote:
 xxx
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#404
May 29, 2014, 05:17 AM
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Home from therapy. Feel raw but hopeful? Weird combination. Going the gym to help get my head from feeling this way xxx
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#405
May 29, 2014, 06:36 AM
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Quote:
I'm glad you're in therapy and can't wait to talk to you later tonight 
__________________
Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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#406
May 29, 2014, 07:54 AM
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get to see my T today, hope it goes better than last week
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!  
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#407
May 29, 2014, 08:27 AM
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Quote:
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#408
May 29, 2014, 04:34 PM
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Well I've been stuck in the house by myself for too many days with no one to talk to, and I don't feel like going anywhere by myself. My mom won't be here until late tonight because she works until 6 and then she's going somewhere, and I'm feeling really down. I need to get a job but I haven't been able to make myself do it yet.
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 Mindful55
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#409
May 29, 2014, 05:57 PM
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1 week new meds, seem to be calmer...don't have the urge to hurt/harm self/other.
Made 3 telephone contacts to people today: 2 business and 4 personal to different people. Did NOT care take "friend" in drama mode today. Successes that are small and relevant vs. my wishful thinking. Jade |
| trying2survive
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#410
May 29, 2014, 06:40 PM
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BPD chat was great, thanks to all that came out!
I'm having a drink now and trying not to think about how my school is effing me by taking forever to get my account set up don't the realize I need to apply for loans. I don't have 33,000 dollars just sitting around >.<
__________________
Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| Anonymous100185
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#411
May 29, 2014, 07:20 PM
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I got my corkscrew! Now the big question is how is this going to interact with my medication. I wanted to yell at the people at the leasing office today because they are so incredibly stupid. I didn't though.
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| Anonymous100185
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 Bill3, shezbut
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#412
May 29, 2014, 07:40 PM
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just got back from seeing my T..went better than last week!
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
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| waiting4
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| Bill3, shezbut
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#413
May 29, 2014, 11:02 PM
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I'm in a weird place right now..I feel like hurting myself...but I feel calm too...its odd and I don't like it.
last night my boss and I had a few drinks together and a had a brutally honest heart to heart. It was nice because I told her how sometimes I worry that she mocks me like she does the two previous employees (She said absolutely not) and she was telling me how she wants to move to BC and buy this big vacation ranch and that she 100% would want me to make the move with her. I told her a lot about my past that I hadn't told anyone ever...admitted to her that I was BPD (I haven't told anyone other than my parents since I was diagnosed) and she said she was also diagnosed as BPD and a few other things. I really like my boss, she's so much like me which is nice because I have zero friends, so the fact that the one person whos around understands is nice. Over all even though the convo was alchohol induced, I went to bed feeliing awesome about the relationship with my boss...apparently on their trip my boss (I'll call him P) kept telling people that I was their unofficial adopted daughter. I don't know if my mixed feelings right now are because I'm feeling good about the conversation but feeling vulnerable and awkwardly open or what. I'm super stressing though at th emoment. My one horse Dee may be going blind. I'm having the vet out asap to look at it. I reallyyyy don't want a blind horses on top of the fact she's had colic surgery (which makes her more prone to colic) and she cribs. I love her but I'm already wanting something different and thought about selling her but who knows.
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
| Bill3, shezbut
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| Bill3, Mindful55
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#414
May 29, 2014, 11:19 PM
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Today went a little better for me. I am a bit edgy though. I guess that I'm worrying about tomorrow's surgery, afraid of the doctor telling me that I don't need the surgery after all (and I've had to go through many requests and estimations to get where I am now) because my toe looks pretty normal to me now.
 I don't know what I would do if the surgeon did change his mind at the last minute?? I don't want that to happen now. Let's just get the dang surgery done, so I don't have to change everything around! 
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
| Anonymous100185, Verity81
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| Bill3, Blitter2014
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#415
May 30, 2014, 01:17 AM
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I went to the hospital and I decided to not be hospitalized and take Ativan before sleeping to help me and if it gets worse, I will go back to the hospital.
I will start my outpagtient program monday. |
| Anonymous100185, shezbut
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#416
May 30, 2014, 01:26 AM
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Had a good outcome to a stressful event hanging over head this week so can forget that. Also made phone call to somone should have talked to weeks ago and apologized for not being reliable. Turns out they have suffered depression themselves and so told me not to stress, just get to it when I could.
Wished I'd rang four weeks ago......but being Friday Afternoon at least I can start the weekend with my head in a good place. Haven't been able to do that in weeks. Free hugs from me to the forum.......  Sent from my GT-I9305 using Tapatalk
__________________
"Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes"  Success and failure are two of many words we get to define, not society. Our success depends on definition and intentions, not actions |
| shezbut
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| Bill3
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#417
May 30, 2014, 03:23 PM
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Feeling healthy today, good lunch, long walk in a park, and a boat ride with H. Weather was warm/humid and breeze off the water was helpful. Pleasant day so far.
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| Anonymous100185
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| Bill3, shezbut
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#418
May 31, 2014, 07:31 AM
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I work in about 30 min, but unfortunately I'm coming down sick as well.. Maybe I have mono too
I think once I get my next paycheck I'm going to get a little pet birdy. Maybe a finch or a dove, but since I cannot have a cat or a dog, it'd be nice to have a little guy to take care of
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| Anonymous100185, shezbut
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| Bill3
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#419
May 31, 2014, 07:37 AM
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Just woke up and I already need a nap. It'll be one of those days
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
| shezbut
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| Bill3
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#420
May 31, 2014, 09:16 AM
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So yesterday I thought went well...and it did. And then at the very last minute, a friend hurt my feelings (which wasn't easy to do, as I was feeling pretty calm late last night)....stomped them pretty bad, actually, just before I went to bed.
So then another night crying myself to sleep. Again. Why the hell do I bother??????  
__________________
 Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
| Bill3, shezbut
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#421
May 31, 2014, 09:40 AM
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Not good. Boyfriends lying again. Mom called him out on going out an being out Late, he tried to back track but damage was done. I hope he at least makes this other girl happy....
__________________
Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
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| Anonymous100185, Bill3, Mindful55, Sashawood, shezbut
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#422
May 31, 2014, 09:47 AM
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I tend to obsess on feelings that have hurt,
 I need to learn how to just let go. Easier said then done..Does time really ease the pain?
__________________
Listen to your own voice, your own soul, too many people listen to the noise of the world, instead of themselves. -Leon Brown |
| Anonymous100185, Bill3, shezbut
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#423
May 31, 2014, 11:38 AM
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Quote:
oh Allie I hope thjngs get better xx x
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#424
May 31, 2014, 12:25 PM
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I am doing okay.
Had my foot surgery yesterday, which thankfully included a prescription for some pain meds, and I have put them to use!! Using my "wise mind", of course.  It hurts...but, it is only day 2. LOL 
__________________
"Only in the darkness can you see the stars." - Martin Luther King Jr. "Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness but because you deserve peace." - Author Unkown |
| Anonymous100185, FooZe
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| Bill3
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#425
May 31, 2014, 06:08 PM
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The last 2 night were okay compared to those before.
I hope it will continue. |
| Anonymous100185
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| Bill3, shezbut, Verity81
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| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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