[Samwise_23]

It's been a long time struggling to keep relationships and jobs. Neither have gone well until now. I have recently been diagnosed with Borderline and given mood stabilising meds alongside 225mg Venlafaxine for depression. I didn't get offered a permanent contract as a Head Teacher but can work until May as an Interim. If I give up work now I stand a very good chance of getting a retirement package, therapy and support from mental health services. If I stay in work I have money.

Do I retire?

I have few people in my life to ask. Please will you in the community help me decide?

PCh

[marmaduke]

It depends, which would make you happier, do you look forward to going to work or dread it? I don't know how old you are either. If it was me, and I was struggling with work, I would retire.

[Samwise_23]

I'm 55 and sometimes feel physically sick before leaving the house. The school community are fully behind me and will miss me.

[Verity81]

I would probably retire and get the mental health support. You can always do something part time for some extra money.

[marmaduke]

Verity81 has a good point, you could retire and then do some part time work. Would the school let you have a part time post that would take the pressure off you?
Your colleagues sound lovely.

[Samwise_23]

Thanks, I'm thinking that's maybe the way.

[Samwise_23]

They may allow that to keep me involved. That said, they didn't want me for the permanent job and I've found the rejection hard. BPD raising it's head again. I'm taking a few days to think this through.

[live2ski66]

I agree, if you can take the retirement, you are "guaranteed" the meds and treatment which will keep you balanced. What aspect of your job do you love the most and which one causes the least amount of stress? What gives you your warm fuzzies? I'm sure you could put all these ideas together and a proposal for your employers to show them how they can still benefit from your best skills while allowing you to take care of yourself.
Good luck!

[Verity81]

What about private tutoring? Just a thought

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[Verity81]

Hey, just wondering how you are? And if you've made a decision?

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[Samwise_23]

Hi there,

I have been off work for a few weeks now and have no doubts that I'm in the right place. The retirement has not been agreed but I feel it's certain that I will never work again. I'm finding it difficult to get to terms with the BPD and in a real way I have no idea what the future will bring.

I've tried to make contact generally on the site with no luck, I'm not always able to leave the house without my friend. Work at present will be too difficult.

Paul

[Samwise_23]

Originally Posted by live2ski66

I agree, if you can take the retirement, you are "guaranteed" the meds and treatment which will keep you balanced. What aspect of your job do you love the most and which one causes the least amount of stress? What gives you your warm fuzzies? I'm sure you could put all these ideas together and a proposal for your employers to show them how they can still benefit from your best skills while allowing you to take care of yourself.
Good luck!

Thanks for the message. I'm not always able to get out of the house so work is out of the question. I must admit to finding the situation difficult but I have been off a few weeks now.

Paul

[live2ski66]

Hi, I can empathize with you. I went through a similar event earlier this year. My depression, anxiety and BPD were out of control even though I did not change my meds. In Aspen, where I lived, it was easy to become very isolated. Aside from the grocery store, most everything had to be ordered via mail or you had to drive two hours each way. I was an out of control hermit. I'm fortunate that I am aware when I need help and start asking for help. My PDoc and T were no longer available so I was down the proverbial creek. I'm fortunate that my ex mother in law (outlaw mom) figured out I was in dire need and drove out to Aspen to rescue me. She brought me to her home and is helping me find the help I need. This happened three weeks ago. I still don't like going out, but I'm having to go out to interview mental health facilities. I've set a goal for myself to accomplish one thing each day. If I do more than one, great. If I don't make it, I try not to beat myself up. My outlaw mom keeps me going in her loving, non judgmental, and non intrusive way.

I hope it starts getting better for you soon.

[Samwise_23]

Hi Nikki,

I'm the sort of chap that always gets up when knocked down. I'm stubborn that way although the BPD / depression gives me the odd difficult day when I can't move. Like you I find it's getting one thing done a day. At the moment I have to lose weight, cholesterol and blood pressure thing, so the focus is diet and starting to train again. I used to play rugby and train a lot so it's tough at the moment. I don't have an Outlaw about despite two failed marriages so check here for messages every day. I guess I'm too something or not enough because don't get many. Aspen??? Isn't that the beautiful area that us Welsmen see in the movies? Snow?

Thanks for the message, it brightened my day. I hope you have better ones and if you ever need to chat I'm just here in England.

Paul

[live2ski66]

Yes, Aspen is that beautiful area with snow you see in magazines. Unfortunately it is very difficult to join the community. It takes about three years before the community begins to accept you as a local.
Ditto, if you ever need to chat, I'm across the pond, over the river and up the hill in Colorado. Thank you for sharing your challenges. I'm sure everithing will work out for you.
Monique aka Nikki

[Samwise_23]

Hi Nikki, (Monique is a beautiful name)

Thanks for the offer of chatting, are you sure? I'm finding it difficult to explain why I need to make contact and talk to people within this community. It's lead to a difficult couple of days, do you have any problems getting yourself across to others? Your partner? Maybe for me it's not yet coming to terms with the whole idea of having BPD. Relationships just don't go smoothly how ever hard I try.

So, easy to find you now, what was it? Across the river and up the hill? We're easy, just stick a pin in a map in the very centre of England and you'll get Nottingham. That is if you can see through the cloud and rain!!!

Being accepted has always been very difficult for me, three years sounds a long time! Not sure I'll see it through that long. Hope we can chat again.

Paul

[live2ski66]

Hi Paul,
Absolutely, I would love to chat. I'm currently in Boulder, Colorado. I crashed very hard recently and my ex mother in law (the outlaw mom) rescued me. I'm in her home and she is helping me find some help for my BPD and MDD. As much as I love and would prefer to live in the mountains, it is difficult to find good psychiatric help.
There is no significant other except my furry companion, Bugsy the cat.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Monique

[Samwise_23]

Crashed but recovering I think, you sound ok and ready to chat so that's a good start. I sent another message, not sure which method best for you? I worry about such things. I'll look forward to catching up tomorrow.

Paul