Why do so many people dislike me?

I was already pretty hurt by my relationship suddenly ending with my former guy not talking to me at all, but today, I learned that most of my coworkers hate me.

The things they said about me to my friends were so mean and unfounded. I was called an entitled *****, mean to the receptionists, a bad representation of my sex, a bad feminist, and promiscuous. I have considered these people to be friends of mine for two years. I am incredibly hurt.

Why are people hypercritical and cruel to me? I feel like I am being constantly bullied and picked on. I feel that men don't treat me the same as they treat other women. It isn't fair. I'm a nice person!

I am so not able to keep trusting people because most seem to be fake and cruel. Why me? What the hell did I ever do to anyone?

What is it that makes others pick on one person? I feel like everyone here must be talking about me behind my back?

No one acts like I have feelings

I know exactly how you feel! I feel like that everyday. I had no clue others suffered like this. I'm so sorry that you are going through that, I truly feel for you and I hope it cycles fast.

Human beings are much more conniving, greedy and cruel than your idealisations of them would have you believe. But it's so terribly difficult to remember that. Don't let yourself be singled out by it; don't let it get to you because you think you're alone against the world. And don't try to please all of them, because some are probably utter pieces of **** and not worthy of your friendship. They're not Angels but they're not Demons either, they're just people.

It's hard to understand because I am not mean like that. They were also picking on a kind, cool coworker because she has kids.

I like you !

I like you also! Some people just act like trolls, idk why.

I like me too and I have great friends who love me. I'm a good person and I don't deserve what I get from others. I would never say such horrible things about another person at work, even if I hated them.

My friend who was there for the assault defended me and told me that it honestly sounds like they were irritated because I'm pretty, smart, confident, and am comfortable with my body/sexuality. They are all a bunch of stodgy, stereotypical feminists. I'm more of a lipstick, pro raunch feminist.

I go to therapy to learn how to present myself in ways that are supposed to help people not be intimidated by me and understand me. This is over the top though. I'm beginning to think that I should just stop caring about how I come off to people and accepting that most people don't like me because they are immature and childish. I can't control others and I am tired of working so hard to try to get *****es to not hate me.

Don't stop your working on yourself. Some people are just envious...they like what they see in others but dislike them because they don't have it.

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Came across an area of a book recommended in the PC 'self-help and goal setting' forum. The section is titled 'Put-down games and psychological put-downs'. I found it a good read. The link is http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org.../chap7_41.html

I'm sorry love most of the time I feel/"know" everyone is against me too or dislikes me. It's such an awful feeling..

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Things have gone from bad to worse. I talked to a friend about how I was hurt and he forwarded my texts and now everyone at my job, including my boss is upset with me.

I'm being told how I need to come off better to people. I don't disagree, but I think it's unfair to suggest that I'm at fault here.

I'm so sorry dear. People suck. They're greedy, selfish and sadistic. Always remember that... there's nothing wrong with you, the fault is in the human race. Some humans are nice though... and I've always felt as if you are one of those, reading your posts. So.. I like you!

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I like you! some people are so cruel and full of **** ..

And this is a friend? he is no friend doing that, People are so mean and hurtful.

I don't think he was trying to be malicious. He just showed it to one person.

Girl, I am on your side!! First, I really don't know why peeps are being like that to you, but I've also been bullied similarly in the past (at work) and I know how confusing and hurtful it can be. Because you mentioned feminism and how different peeps perceive feminism and present themselves, I can see how politics are a player here, and folks who care more about politics than relationship building (and also aren't checking themselves and their own behaviour) are going to get mean and beligerent about it. It's complete ********, but people really do suck.

I'm totally a lipstick pro-raunch feminist too, and yeah I can definitely see how some 1950's feminists think my politics are degrading to women or something...boo-hoo...they may be 'feminists' but their anti-femme/slut shaming politics are harmful and until they decide to actually give a **** about people and stop thinking they are the ****, people are gonna get hurt.

I don't really know what else to say other than feel free to PM me if you wanna talk or vent as I know you may not be able to change the situation right now.

<3

People suck! There are so many fake ones out there. They get jealous of genuine people...I've battled that my whole life. All throughout grade school, high school and even college. I think people at work like me but there are alot of gossips there too. I'm so sorry this is going on. You deserve to be treated with love and respect. Don't stop being yr genuine self. Ever. They are just picking on you cause they have nothing better to do so yr their target. Be kind to yr self.

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Hey Henrydavidtherobot,

I am so very sorry about your negative experiences at work. It really sucks.

I actually had a very similar situation happen at a seasonal job just this last summer. Unfortunately it consumed me and I became very bitter and I was extremely vocal and reactionary. Eventually I left my job after ruining some great friendships at the workplace - and since then - I have carried the weight of their abuse on my shoulders... It got so bad that people quit the job when they were told they would have to work with me. What really got under my skin was that my rear car tires had, 'mysteriously,' gone flat. Twice. We all parked in the same parking lot - there was no chance it was a random thing... It really hit me hard. I felt terrible about myself. I felt like I had to rise up above it all somehow - but the only thing I could manage was to quit and find work elsewhere... Upon leaving the town where I worked - I realized that the company also screwed me over on my yearly bonus. Just a nice way to send their best employee off into the sunset. I called the owner of the company - telling him how @#$^@ up his company was due to the people they hire. It was a sad sad experience and I lost a lot of respect for humanity. I felt like I lose hope in humanity as well - like the human race was ultimately self destructive and the ruin of itself...

I agree with the general consensus that most people are capable of doing and saying terrible things. They are all human, they all have feelings. But some people just don't understand, how what they say and do affects others. On this front - I am sorry that you are being targeted by people at your workplace. The important thing to remember is to be yourself. It is extremely easy to feel anxious around those people at a job - that you know have been spreading gossip about you - and to explode and send a negative vibe their way. Try your hardest not to do that. It will only make you look like the culprit.

If anything - I suggest that you maintain clear communication with your superior - and no one else. There is no need to have other people in on how their crap affects you. If you allow them to bring out your worst - they will only see it as more information with which they can harm you psychologically or mentally... The less information you put out there for them - the more you can maintain control and stay one step ahead of their abuse.

It sounds to me that you are keeping your own identity in check - you being a great person with a good head on her shoulders and you don't deserve what is being shoved in your direction. That being said - fighting what other's put out at you is only going to make matters worse. I'm not saying don't stand up for yourself, I am saying that in the workplace - someone has to be that person who gets the brunt of the stick... There is a mechanism by which all social groupings and communities operate, and unfortunately - someone is typically ridiculed. Unfortunately - you are that person. But sometimes - reacting to their abuse is what makes it so easy for them to continue doing so - and if there is one thing that pisses off an abuser more than anything - it is to lose control of those they are so accustomed to abusing. By learning to appear unaffected by their abuse (despite actually feeling hurt) they will gradually leave you alone.

You just hang in there and be yourself, maintain as professional a persona at work as possible - have a genuine open door policy with your superior (in strict confidence) and you will slowly gain back the respect that you deserve.

You are loved!

I wish you the best.

Thanks,
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