What are your triggers?

I've been thinking about it.. and I think I understand most of them...

Being around people who are drunk... (my dad was a drunk who beat his wife).

Being alone in a strange place (I was sexually abused in a stranger's home)- I had one experience of absolute dread when I spent the night alone in a strange hotel room.

Being around people who are arguing (my parents had some epic fights).

Being around people who are yelling in anger (see above)

Even petty little controversies in social groups bother me.

My biggest trigger right now is whining and my son's meltdowns... both are hard to keep away from. I have now learned to deal with them better but it is still hard.

Criticism.... I can't cope at all with...

Unexpected events. I need to know what's happening and when.

People not being where I expect them to be - for example someone from work taking holiday at short notice and me not knowing, even if I am not close to them I find it disconcerting.

People mentioning My dad - he died when I was young and I don't like other people talking about it and I always feel empty when I think about it. My counsellor mentions him a lot and it makes me cry.

Any type of confrontation.

Drinking alcohol - makes me depressed for at least a week.

My mum not replying to my text messages straight away. Or being somewhere I don't know. Even though I don't live with her or even near her, but when I know she is going out I hate it.

My triggors

Anyone raising their voice at me

loud sounds

feeling physically threatened

drunk people yelling

eating

being put down over my physical appearance

my sister..

my mother..

my grandmother.

being restrained by a locked door..

dead animals..

stupid slurring argumentative drunks

fights

being deserted over an addiction

people breaking plans with me

people in general

being told I have to stay somewhere when I want to leave

Breaking things

Feeling pressured

sex

People threatening to harm themselves.

Constructive criticism

being lied to

familiar places, feelings, or people

waiting on people

talking about past traumas

people watching me do things

having to speak up to be heard

not knowing where someone is

people crying loudly.. or quietly..

being out of my comfort zone


Pretty much life in general is a trigger for me

My husband starting working out of town and I had a horrible realization when he came home yesterday that he may be one of my triggers may have to address with T about this. It's really weighing on me now.

Change...any change. I'm better at dealing with it, but if someone is suddenly THERE when they weren't supposed to be--used to make me crazy when my ex H had a 'weather' day and had to be home. I hated it. Ruined my whole day even if I had planned to do nothing special.

Traffic. Stupid drivers. Slow drivers in the fast lane. People not reading the speed limit sign and driving 10mph under the speed limit because the were too busy talking on the phone to read the sign.

Music...some songs from when my ex and I were together. Some make me angry...some make me meltdown in a fraction of a second.

Memories. All of them. I never know why or when or how, but they trigger me always. And I never know which end of the spectrum I'll hit first...only that it will happen quickly.

Music.. I forgot about that one.. Patience by Guns N Roses kills me.

• When someone I care (A-List ppl) about does not 'take my side' or understand my perspective when I feel like theirs is a blatantly irrational viewpoint.
• When someone I don't like judges me openly
• Feeling Ignored when I am feeling needy - can lead to NSSI

Those are the majors, but I am weepy and can cry over imaginary thoughts, reading a book, watching a movie, reading the news, hearing a quote with one of my many emo triggers which concern grief, sadness, hopelessness, disillusionment or their opposite.

Being ignored is the big one.

also being mocked or criticized for something I can't change.

Following on from the first one, being in a group of people and seeing other people address everyone else in the group while avoiding me like I'm not there. Maybe I imagine that sometimes but it really hurts and just makes me want to disappear.

A lot of those tie in with things that happened at school and at home while I was growing up. I remember once an English teacher at college went round the whole seminar and asked everyone to define poetry. It was actually a question I probably could have answered even though I was usually mute but he asked literally everyone except me. In fact I'm sure it was at college that my BPD came to full fruition. I have so many flashbacks to that time and they all involve social exclusion or rejection of some sort from peers and teachers. I feel like I must have been a freak or something and I've never really felt like a complete person since.

There are trivial and not so trivial triggers for me. Examples of potential yet trivial triggers: Loud children (sorry), crowds, queues, being in the car too long etc. Not so trivial: people purposely winding me up and then having a go at me when i react, being ignored, being invalidated, being patronized, ignorance, being hit, neglect.

So a lot of typical triggers i guess.

^ basically this for me too.

To name a few:

• Intentionally demeaning, intimidating or otherwise aggressively manipulative behavior; especially gaslighting.

• People attempting to assert dominance over myself or others, and especially when aggressive abuse of any asserted is clearly apparent.

• People using coercion and even trying to trick me, into doing things they've convinced themselves are right for me, through whatever sense of entitled justification they've cooked up in their minds.

• People asserting what kind of contact they think I should have with perpetrators of abuse and injury inflicted on me. Also, people trying to trick me right into situations with those people, holy double whammy, Batman!

• Hauntingly familiar songs about too hasty exits. "All For The Best" by Mark Mulcahy. "Bye" by Elliott Smith. They are beautiful songs but best not popping up on my playlists.

Triggers for me...
Loud noises
Being.looked at by men
Authority figures
Crowds of people
Screaming children
Driving
Strangers
Sister
Moms death
Fathers rage
Confrontation
Disagreements
Dishonest people
Going to work
Sex
Childhood memories
Brother

Criticism of any kind. If it is not presented to me out of love and just wanting me to improve, it send me into a downward spiral of self hate and the inner critic get a foot hold.

Those who agreed with me and were on my side in private but then when confronted throw me under the bus and clam they never felt the way I did. It makes me hate the human race and brings out the feeling of hopelessness and suicidal intentions.

Change of plans or events did not go in order the way I laid them out in my head. This mainly has to do with travel away from home. This sets off aggression stemming from fear. It triggers fear and I do not know why. So I become nasty and I lose all patience.

Seeing people I know become successful. Made it through college, or just succeed in everything they try. It reminds me of how broken I have been. How much I spent my life trying to hide from everyone as much as I can which meant doing as little as I could to get by. Reminds me how I do not respond to feelings the way the norm does. It shoves it shoves everything in my face. Just not being able to feel happy for them shows me I suck. This sets off a worthless, never will be good enough part, might as well die.

Raised voices.
Loud noises- expected and unexpected.
The smell of coconut.
Injured animals especially sheep.
Misogyny.
Shadows in the dark.
The dark.
Horror movies.
Change.
Criticism and compliments.
Confrontation.
Condescension/ arrogance.

And of course some songs, books, games and people.

Seeing others happy and knowing I will never be

I didn't think about smells. That's interesting.

There is a perfume that severely triggers me, blue jeans by Versace.

Smells of perfumes or cleaning products take me back to wherever I was when I used certain things. I am lucky that most take me back to an old bedroom or kitchen and o think fondly of most of my old houses.
But I went through my worst depression and my only ever psychotic depression in 2009 and my housemate was wearing that scent at the time.

Whenever I smell that now, it literally makes me feel awful, i get this severe de ja vu feeling, like everything goes quiet around me and I am back there again... I avoid it at all costs.

I call it my 'smell de ja vu,' does anyone else experience this?

I can relate to the de ja vu feeling.... but, I haven't worked out why I feel it at times.. there are still times when I feel that way, but I can't put my finger on what it was that triggered me.

Changes to my routine

New people

Stress

Therapy (albeit usually in a good way a few days afterwards)

Shopping centres

My biggest trigger is always some guy.
Whenever I have only the slightest little feeling for someone I barely know the roller coaster is on. Beside from that, offcourse: Sex, seeing my dad playing with my little sister, people around me having an argument, my mum not picking up her phone, eating sounds, people criticizing anything about my looks, comments about my personality by someone who is close to me, not being part of the group, too little attention, too much attention (depending on the mood) and people responding short to anything I say... And obviously alcohol makes all of it a lot worse :-).

Feeling like an outsider is definitely a trigger. It reminds me of my jr high and high school years...

Dang.... I don't know that it's a trigger, but, young, beautiful women sure make me nervous! I just had a woman come into my shop that is a perfect 10 in my eyes....

Actually, maybe I do know. I had a crush on a beautiful woman when I was in my 20's. We went out on one date, but she let me know soon after that she wasn't that interested in me, and that she was concentrating on getting her degree. It really hurt me at the time, and caused me to spiral out of control with depressive thoughts.

People who drink excessively and act stupid. There is nothing more revolting in life than having to talk to, listen and see a person who is drunk. I grew up on a small native reserve where certain individuals liked to drink and cause trouble for everyone. Summers were really bad because it was wedding season. Once I witnessed a bad fight that occurred in front of our house. Of course it happened the morning after a wedding. It was also normal to find empty Crown Royal bottles on the streets.

The awful behavior committed by certain community members deeply affected me even though I did not grow up in a drinking family. My parents tried to keep us away but it was impossible since the town was so small.

People that ask me a question about something that I care about, then either ignore, or mock my answer. Especially if I get the sense that they are toying with me, and that the entire encounter is a setup.

Any feelings of emotional desire.