Another friendship ended

It's been literally 15 years since I have had a steady best friend.

Over the last 15 or so years when someone hurts me I write them off. I am a very compassionate giving person. I give my time, love, support and finances if needed. Nothing I ever do keeps the person around. They end up talking about me like we are in high school, lying to me or doing something else that hurts me.

Does anyone else have issues getting and keeping friends? This is partly why I feel so alone.

Sick and tired of being sick and tired and alone.

Do you give the person a chance so both of you can work through the conflict? A real friend will be willing to stick around and work through it even if they need to take a break and think about what happened before talking. Sometimes arguments can bring people closer together. It happened to me.

Maybe you can find a way to detect gossipers and backstabbers to avoid getting involved with them and their drama. I have been through that and have learned to observe and listen to people before I determine if they are worth socializing with. If I hear any kind of gossip come out of a person's mouth I will stay away from them or if I can't I will be careful around them.

Finding a good friend is hard.

That's me all my life.

Hi LOSTnowFOUND, when you say "I give my time, love, support and finances if needed. Nothing I ever do keeps the person around", that's fine, that's good........but could you be trying too hard, giving too much without expecting enough from the other person????
Friendship should be a two-way thing, sure at times one of you may be giving more than the other but..........perhaps if you "took a step back", see what they're giving...........you could be cutting the less loyal "friends" out of your life and be making more room to find friends who are going to be treating you better???
And maybe you can look a bit closer at who might deserve to be your friend e.g. how have they treated/how do they treat other people in their life..........sometimes that can be a bit of a pointer as to how they may treat you..............
Still, I'd say that sometimes we are going to hurt those we care about no matter what we do.........now I'm not saying just take it, but maybe if that happens/someone hurts you maybe it's worth finding out a bit (a lot?) more about why and what went wrong?? And if needed, finding out if there are ways to reduce the chance of that happening again with them??
Although some people can completely surprise you with how little they really care.......I'm sorry you seem to have had people like that in your life, but not everyone will be like that, and I hope you find future friends who will treat you as you deserve, you sound like such a nice, caring person.

Alison

I am SO bad at making friends that I'm going to be in a counseling group to help me with it. It's so sad not having friends. I have two but they live far away and I never see them. Other than that, there are no friends here for me. Sigh... I feel your pain.

I relate to all you said in a BIG way. I have come to realise I set my standards to an unrealistic level..which leads to ppl never quite meeting them with the end result me falling out with them. Even though I realise I am doing this, I can't change it but I am working on it.

Hmm maybe I really need to work on WHY my standards are so high? What I mean by high standards is all someone has to do is look at me bad and I fall out with them. If they have a different opinion to me, I fall out with them...or if I feel they just don't care or love me enough I fall out with them.

I have fallen out with 4 friends in the past year. I can make them, but I just can't keep them. Problem is, I now work from home so cant even meet new friends as easy anymore. I really do feel so alone and if it wasn't for my hubby I think I would of given up by now.

Hang in there.