[Nicky123]

Hi, I am 53 and was recently diagnosed with BPD. I didn't like the diagnosis but now I'm wondering if it really matters because I think I have come to a point in my life that I feel I am too old to bother to do anything about it. I am not sure if Borderline is even the correct diagnosis but I would certainly meet some of the criteria for it. I am no longer involved with the outside world and only leave the house once a week. This way of life has given me peace of mind and my anxiety has lessened greatly. My life to this point has been a trainwreck and I know (and have been told) that 'everyone' knows I'm crazy. I can clearly see why people would think that but feel now like I could not care less. I don't know how much longer I will live......it could be another 20 or 30 years and I wonder sometimes, that if this is the case, can I remain isolated from the rest of the world and be ok about it? I'm waiting to see a Psychologist but not sure if there's much point(though I will go). I would be grateful for some of your thoughts. Am I too old to change? Am I just weary from a life on 'high alert'? Thank you, if you have read this.

[Crazy Hitch]

I always say that other's opinions of us doesn't matter. It's about what makes you feel content as a person. You have found a sense of peace with the way you live your life. So, well, it's not really other's business to call you "crazy" - that's judgmental, because they don't live your life for you.

As for your question - "Am I too old to change?"

Well no, definitely not.

If there are certain behaviours / adaptations that you have made within your own lifestyle that you think well for the next 20/30 years it's not going to serve in your best interest and would like to look at addressing these, absolutely therapy can help. It's a process, a journey.

I believe that we can all make positive steps in our life, regardless of age.

[Kimaya]

Hi Nicky. What a great question... I feel you! Its understandable to be uncertain before beginning such a long journey as therapy for a border.

To me, its never too late! I don't think of therapy as just a way to fix my problems, but also as a key to unlocking understanding of who I am, and why. It is never too late for enlightenment! Just like Hooligan said, its a process and a journey.

I can't think of a better way to spend the last bit of life, was I 80. My therapy gives me purpose I might not have otherwise.

That being said, yes it will be hard at first and it may take some time to feel like you can rewire those parts of us which are the most ingrained and problematic. Therapy is hard work, it requires active participation and a willingness to change.

I am sorry to hear you have been labeled as crazy... I think many of us can relate to how frustrating that can be to be so misunderstood and dismissed. One of the best things about therapy, to me, is how I feel about others and their lessening ability to affect my own identity. You will be, if you aren't already, far, far more wise than any of them, which will improve your self esteem as well as your interactions with others.

Do it! If you find it isn't working, keep going - try different therapists if you have to to find one you connect with. And GL.

Hello Nicky - ditto on the posts above - it's never too late to learn or change. There are days when I think it's amazingly easy, and then there are days when I feel I don't have the strength to do anything that I've learned so far. But, in those times, I think I can't go back to what it was like - I can't go back to feeling out of control. It's still crazy sometimes, but I feel more in control of my emotions, fears, and thoughts. Life, for me, is getting easier and less painful. You are worth it at any age, 40, 50, 60....

[Nicky123]

Thanks all for your replies....I appreciate your thoughts. I suppose as Kimaya says, it's never to late for enlightenment!!! and I always love those 'light bulb moments'. Firstly, I need to start getting out of the house in order for me to feel a bit normal. It's not a great idea to think I will just spend my days here in the house, not doing very much, though I must be keeping somewhat busy as the day flies by. Thanks again.

[Seeker101]

Nicky, you're never too old to transform. You're only a couple of years older than me, and like you, my life has been what I call, a trail of scorched earth. My BPD diagnosis came just this year. I've been in DBT counseling since March, and in group for a little over a month. It is a journey.

I'm also thinking of seeing if I can qualify for a Service Dog. I could use the buffer when I'm out in public, and my dog would be a reason to go outside my home more often. There are other skills I would utilize, and as far as the going outside the home part, just the thought of it with a dog companion gives me hope.

[Kimaya]

Originally Posted by Nicky123

Firstly, I need to start getting out of the house in order for me to feel a bit normal.

That's one good thing about therapy for me... Getting back out there after I've backslided into hermit mode. I try once a week therapy if I can get it covered. It really helps safely stretch the muscles of interacting again and stimulating desire to be out and about.

GL