[indlawsar]

I display all the symptoms of severe BPD. All of them. For example, my entire body is scarred from self-harm and I have tried to commit suicide 3 times. I do not know how or why, but I hurt my best friend and pushed her away from me, and I was too distracted to realise I was hurting her.

Does this make me a bad person? Should I stop talking to everyone, because I will hurt them eventually, no matter what I do? I have lost all my friends already; should I not even try to make new ones?

[Luctor]

You're not a bad person. You may very well have BPD. Thinking you're a terrible person deserving only the worst in life is definitely a trait of those afflicted with the condition.

You can't blame all your actions on your condition, but accepting that a lot of the destructive behaviour you exhibit is because of BPD should help in the process of taking responsibility for your actions, but not blaming yourself.

The mere fact that you are concerned about the relationships you've lost and the damage you cause shows you are a good person with insight. The responsibility now is yours to do what you have to to gain control over your condition - be it seeing a therapist, going on meds or making amends with the people you've hurt.

But above all, you are not a bad person.

[crosstobear]

Originally Posted by indlawsar

I display all the symptoms of severe BPD. All of them. For example, my entire body is scarred from self-harm and I have tried to commit suicide 3 times. I do not know how or why, but I hurt my best friend and pushed her away from me, and I was too distracted to realise I was hurting her.

Does this make me a bad person? Should I stop talking to everyone, because I will hurt them eventually, no matter what I do? I have lost all my friends already; should I not even try to make new ones?

That second paragraph is SO BPD. There's no such thing as "good" or "bad" people. It's subjective. You have problems, but you shouldn't stop living because of it. Go find more friends. Friends are hard for ANYONE to find and keep and they often come and go due to circumstances. This is true for everyone, personality disorder or not.

[Tauren]

Why, do you think other people with BPD are bad?

[indlawsar]

Originally Posted by Tauren

Why, do you think other people with BPD are bad?

Certainly not! I do not know if hurting people and making them sick of you is necessarily a by-product of BPD.

[C2015]

I don't think you are a bad person. That is bipolar making you think that. I often tell myself I am not good enough for anyone to like/love me. Deep down I know it is not true. I know it is the bipolar telling me I am not good enough.

[monkeybrains21]

I am very similar to u in all of this. I do not have a BPD diagnosis at least not yet. I just started with a new T. My old T said something to me that agitated me and our 3 yr relationship went out the window. I left and didn't care much. Did make me feel like I was too broken and made me look at how I am with all my relationships. I push everyone away. Even my wife! I've gotten upset recently and felt like everything was my fault and I was such a bad person and didn't deserve anything good.

All I could do was sit in the dark away from everyone and replay all the crap my father said to me as a child. How worthless I am and how I'll never be good. I too SI. Not as much as I used to. Yet still when really down or upset the urge gets so strong and sometimes I give in. Cuz no matter what I still feel like that worthless little girl who was always abused and told how I'll never amount to anything and I'm better off living and dying on the street.

[MiddayNap]

Originally Posted by indlawsar

I display all the symptoms of severe BPD. All of them. For example, my entire body is scarred from self-harm and I have tried to commit suicide 3 times. I do not know how or why, but I hurt my best friend and pushed her away from me, and I was too distracted to realise I was hurting her.

Does this make me a bad person? Should I stop talking to everyone, because I will hurt them eventually, no matter what I do? I have lost all my friends already; should I not even try to make new ones?

If you were truly a bad person, you wouldn't be worried over whether you were a bad person, nor would you care that you hurt your friend.
Your pushing her away is a perfectly natural response to your emotional difficulties. It is, oddly enough, a way of telling her you need support. Unfortunately, it is the least effective way of letting someone know that.
It has been my experience that the deeper we sink, the further we push others away. And the fact that they never push back becomes even more reason to retreat further into isolation. I don't think she meant to hurt you either. I'm sure she is just not sure of all that is going on and how to deal with it.