[ROX77]

Hi. First time posting. I'm 32 y/o female. This is concerning major depression, but I thought I might try the BPD area first, as it seems I might be BPD, and the extreme inconsistency that I've learned to expect from myself seems to be characteristic of BPD....
My emotional health has been steadily declining over years, and over the last few months I guess I've been going through a major depressive episode. I tried over and over to take on healthier daily habits like yoga/exercise but could not pick up any momentum- everything I try gets harder the more I do it- that weight gets heavier and heavier. So now I'm on Lexapro. So far anxiety has improved but I seem to be settling in to my inclination to lay down nearly all day. One of my therapists has told me that I need to force myself up and into doing things again, but it feels so damn hopeless. My energy level is frustratingly inconsistent, and I've lost so much faith in myself to stay the course with ANYTHING.....
I guess I'm asking for suggestions, encouraging words.. I don't know. It's been a very long time since I've been part of an online community like this. I've kind of forgotten how it works. But I need to speak to others who understand this.

Thank you

[shezbut]

I certainly cannot diagnose you, but I can say that I have BPD as well as (seemingly lifelong) major depression... as well as a few other diagnoses.

Anyway, I can understand how dark life can feel. Years ago, I bought a Hallmark ornament made of etched wood. It says "hope". I have held onto that ornament ever since ~ and keep it in my bedroom, within easy sight. I look at it ALL of the time, and repeat the word in my head. Hope means everything to me. I have to have it. Know what I mean?

Along those same lines, I also hold onto things that remind me of the good in life. My daughters, my T, Psych Central, my Psych Dr, nature, etc. Those are all things in life that I treasure, and they bring me strength. Reminding myself of that reassures me in darker times.

Perhaps you could try doing something similar, to hold onto some hope for yourself? Gentle hugs & best wishes to you.

I also like to remind myself that I can never be too hopeful ~ I have a definite pattern of sticking to the darker side of life.

[Permacultural]

I can relate. I still struggle getting to the mailbox some days. Its the main accomplishment of my day. Maybe try to walk around the house outside or the neighborhood.

[gayleggg]

I can relate, too. Getting from the bed to couch is work for me.

I do agree with your doctor though about getting out and doing things making you feel better. It's just that it's hard to get moving.

I force myself to go to my friend's house once or twice a week. And it does help to get out.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk