Is setting boundaries the secret to NOT getting attached?

Hello all,

Please let me know what you all think about this...

I know WHY I get attached to others...

But if there was something specific that I did that 'activated' the (oh so painful) attachment bond, which brings with it all the pain in the world and unmet needs and wounds from the past, could I merely choose to do something different and prevent it from ever getting to that point?

And if so, is it as simple as setting boundaries rather than lowering the defense mechanisms and becoming vulnerable?

I am referring to therapeutic relationships, however, it could also apply to outside and in the world relations as well.

I'm interested in hearing what you all think.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

i dunno... i wish i knew...

i am not good at this... i try hard to have boundaries

but i find myself breaking the rules... then i find myself wondering if i have rules at all

find myself easily getting attached to people i shouldnt be attached to at all...

people i dont even like... or shouldnt even like...

i dont understand it one bit...

all i can think is, what the hell..?

You're not alone, not at all. When I hear that word 'boundaries' I cringe. It always makes me feel like feeling my own feelings is breaking my own boundaries because the feelings are so intense and I told myself I would not feel them.

I think youre asking the wrong question

How do you not get destroyed when you get attached? Make sure the other person (t) knows what they are getting into and can handle it? It IS difficult to find a t who is good enough.

Until then, i think the feelings will keep leaking out. Mine did.

i think the answer is to give zero ****s...

Same here. Setting so-called "boundaries" for oneself sounds to me like trying to hobble oneself, and trying to set so-called "boundaries" for other people is never necessary since healthy people do not need to be "bound"...and then trying to bind any of the others is like spitting into the wind.

The real issue? Do not let Mr./Ms. Emotions do your thinking and/or determine your actions. Choose your path for its destination and not be the depth of its rut, then walk alongside others who are actually going somewhere.