[elevatedsoul]

how do you know if you are losing your mind?

i am not right...

going through all of this is messing my mind up bad

when one doesn't know who they are and feels completely overwhelmed with life to the point of shutting down so far they run on scripts and autopilots and become other people such as doing things the one wouldnt do or doesnt agree with or doesnt want to do

am i dead?

im in hell...


things are about to get really bad if i cant get ahold of something...
but i know i will fail, i can't fix this and things will continue to get worse...

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

how do you know if you are losing your mind?

You never really "lose your mind", but you can in fact completely dissociate or withdraw or have a nervous breakdown, all of which are different but have been referenced as losing one's mind. So it depends on your meaning.

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

i am not right...

going through all of this is messing my mind up bad

when one doesn't know who they are and feels completely overwhelmed with life to the point of shutting down so far they run on scripts and autopilots and become other people such as doing things the one wouldnt do or doesnt agree with or doesnt want to do

This seems very much like dissociation.

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

am i dead? im in hell...

You are neither but it is very tumultuous and a tormenting kind of pain.

Can you tell what triggered this type of thing to start happening?

Originally Posted by elevatedsoul

things are about to get really bad if i cant get ahold of something...
but i know i will fail, i can't fix this and things will continue to get worse...

What can't you fix?
What do you need to get ahold of?

[elevatedsoul]

i've always lived in a dramatic/traumatic life, never had a break ...

there is always something happening.. either with me or family where im in the middle of it...

i can't seem to get away, get out on my own...

im stuck, stuck bad in a rut.. or hole...

living with my dad, been trying to get on disability for 7 years to gain atleast some sort of financial independence.. which is failing and no one is believing that i am capable of getting it besides the clinic which seems to be lies because i keep being denied...

feeling like im going to have no choice but to have to try to find a job some where but i do not believe i will be able to handle it because of these symptoms, i may last a week, but there is no telling when **** will hit the fan and i start having "problems" and become unable to function...

have no self esteem and my confidence is non existent because of my problems which i just seem to ignore completely with a i give no ****s attitude, without hurting anyone or taking anything out on anyone but taking everything out on myself

i dont know what my triggers are, this all started long ago and has been going on for a long time and has just been getting worse and worse... all i know is that i've been trying to ignore it all just to survive and stay out of the major depression that i crash into sometimes, im numb now and dont really know whats going on besides that im just trying to survive...

i dont think i can fix it because i've been trying for so long and things just been getting worse... the doctors havent made any progress either so i have lost faith they can even help...

i feel like the only way i can get better is if i get ahold of myself, but i dont know where i am, i feel like i am missing, there is nothing inside... i am nothing... and i feel like there is nothing here for me... i dont know what i want, what i like... anything... besides getting high to keep it numb and keep from freaking out...

nothing makes sense, its just all confusing and i dont know what to do any more

i think i have totally lost my mind... its not my mind any more

i just want to have a life, i need to create a life... but how do you create a life when you dont know what you want or what you like... when you have so much difficulty functioning and fall apart so fast and struggle with being sober because of it all

[elevatedsoul]

do everyone feel like this?

like so empty, like they are missing something big inside..?

missing themselves?

is it normal to feel confused about who you are, i know my name and age and everything, but i feel like i just dont know what i am.. i dont have any likes or dislikes, i just say **** it... and wtf...

[RubyRae]

It's been awhile since I've responded to any of your posts elevatedsoul.It makes me sad to see that you're still stuck in the same spot you have been since I became a member here.

Ya know,getting a job would probably be the best thing for you all around.Not only would it give you money but I think it would really boost your self esteem and give you something to do,something to look forward to,a reason to get up in the mornings instead of just being home stuck in your own thoughts all the time.Having something to focus on besides yourself will really help your mental issues in so many different ways.

You have said more than once you don't believe you can work a job but really,you're never going to know unless you actually try.I'm sure you're very capable of doing more than what you believe you can.

All jobs are rough in the beginning,it takes awhile to learn a job,get to know coworkers and adjust to having a different routine but if you stick with it,after awhile(sometimes a long while) it becomes second nature and natural flowing.Not only that,employers are required to make accomodations for those with physical or mental disabilities and they would work with you on finding ways to make working a job possible,even if it's just longer breaks,less hours,whatever.But you will never know if you can actually work unless you give it a try.

Not only that but it would be a great way for you to make friends,maybe even meet a nice girl.Maybe you need to think of all the positives about getting a job,all the possibilities it could open up for you instead of automatically focusing on the negatives and all the excuses why you shouldn't get one?

You are what you believe you are.You can do what you believe you can do.So why not decide hey,I'm going to fill out some applications,get a job and give it my best shot,I can do this?

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Sorry I had responded but I guess it didn't print...

I can totally understand how you feel. I have been through it and still have those feelings from time to time though not as bad as before I got on disability.

Have you hired an attorney to get disability?

As far as self esteem and self confidence, the best way to get those things is through setting goals and rewards. You set a goal and break it down into small steps. Each of those steps then become small goals. As you complete each goal, celebrate it by saying ”I am able to accomplish things. I just accomplished ____. I can accomplish whatever I put my mind to." then reward yourself with something small you wouldn't usually indulge in. Maybe a dinner out. Maybe a movie you been wanting to see. Etc. Do this until you accomplish the overall big goal. Celebrate that by saying "Yes, I can accomplish things and I can accomplish anything I put my mind to - look what I just accomplished!" And reward yourself with something large you wouldn't usually indulge in. Doing this not only gives you self confidence and self esteem but also self respect and motivation. Not all rewards have to be monetary based either. Some rewards are more simple. Depends on things that make you happy. For instance if you don't normally allow yourself to relax, but enjoy going to the park or beach, a picnic or day at the beach may be a nice reward. You set your own rewards and your own goals.

I hope this helps you.

Sorry again this has been sent so late.
*hugs*