[cryingontheinside]

I'm so lonely . I live alone . I am alone most of the time . I had friends on the internet but they all hate me now , I guess because of my chaotic behavior .

I want back what I had with my friends but I can never get it back. They hate me .

I'm so alone . I'm depressed and feeling so low . I hate my self . I am pathetic and a loser . no wonder I am alone . no wonder I am not happy .

I tried ringing the Samaritans but it didn't help . I'm planning to get drunk today and I don't know what I'm going to do next . I will never be happy again

[Shazerac]

We don't hate you

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

We don't hate you

Thank you. I'm going to ring the Samaritans now . I don't think it will help . it didn't help last time

[adashofhope]

Originally Posted by cryingontheinside

I'm so lonely . I live alone . I am alone most of the time . I had friends on the internet but they all hate me now , I guess because of my chaotic behavior .

I want back what I had with my friends but I can never get it back. They hate me .

I'm so alone . I'm depressed and feeling so low . I hate my self . I am pathetic and a loser . no wonder I am alone . no wonder I am not happy .

I tried ringing the Samaritans but it didn't help . I'm planning to get drunk today and I don't know what I'm going to do next . I will never be happy again

I know its so hard being alone. I'm alone most of the time too, or I'm around people that I have little to no emotional connection with. Have you looked into doing any 12 step online or phone meetings?

I know you said that some of your friends were bullying someone else and you stood up for them. It seems like maybe they showed their true colors and aren't the best influence for you to be around. Some of them may come around in time, if they are true friends. But if someone doesn't like you because you stood up to them because they were being bullies, it sounds to me like it may not be such a terrible thing. You're not a loser. You have a good heart.

[cryingontheinside]

Originally Posted by adashofhope

I know its so hard being alone. I'm alone most of the time too, or I'm around people that I have little to no emotional connection with. Have you looked into doing any 12 step online or phone meetings?

I know you said that some of your friends were bullying someone else and you stood up for them. It seems like maybe they showed their true colors and aren't the best influence for you to be around. Some of them may come around in time, if they are true friends. But if someone doesn't like you because you stood up to them because they were being bullies, it sounds to me like it may not be such a terrible thing. You're not a loser. You have a good heart.

Thank you . I want to do a 12 step program but I'm not quite ready yet although I have been improving a little and I'm working towards it . I got on the bus somewhere on my own twice last week for the first time in nearly a year so that is progress .
I'm thinking about writing a story . using all my sad and hurt feelings and putting it into the story . that might help .
I also told my ex friends about my mental health thinking they might understand but they just ignored me but at least they didn't say anything mean to my face , probably did it behind my back though .
I will be ok. I hope . how are you ?

[HD7970GHZ]

(((((Cryingontheinside)))))

I don't hate you! Try to challenge those thoughts that no one likes you! They are not true.

Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself the way you need to be treated.

My teddies send their hugs.

HD7970ghz

[elevatedsoul]

i think i can understand...

my behavior is chaotic anymore too...

i used to have online friends i could talk to but i ran them off because how quickly and chaotic my emotions change and are.. thought i could be open and honest with them but im trying to teach myself that i cant talk to people and be open about some thing because they dont understand.. how can they understand when i dont even understand?

now i dont really have any friends... there are people in my life that try to be close to me and i just draw back painfully... knowing the end results if i get attached and allow it all to happen again

but its really hard and painful because i am so alone and just yearn for someone to be near me... to hear me... to understand... to say its ok and they wont leave me...

but i am working on things, we have to stay focused on what we desire... and the paths we can create to get there.. sometimes there are no foreseeable ways..
but this is a world where all things are possible... i dont believe in impossibilities..
one foot in front of the other... and then listen to this song.. Son Lux - Easy

we have a lot of work to do.. hang in there my lonely friend...