Do we just have to ignore the chronic suicidal ideation?

I swear it never ends. Yeah, some days are worse than others (some days involve attempts and some days are just not liking being alive and really not caring if something I'm doing is "dangerous"), but I swear whatever desire to survive made our species live this long, I lack completely.

Is it something you just gotta accept and be like "yup, I'm never going to want to live. That's how it's going to be, I can't do anything about it. It is what it is."?

You know how this works, right? Your synapses got pruned. The ones that were supposed to grow when your caretaker made you feel all loved and welcome and cared for, at least once in a effing while, not always like a burden? Its very hard to grow something good out of the im an effin burden synapse. Do you see how many seedlings get sprouting and then just splot.

So I'm basically a cactus?

I guess i yam a little prickly.