Suicidal Ideation

I am having suicidal thoughts. I am not suicidal but I keep thinking I just want to die because it would be easier than living my life and feeling how I feel. I want to stop having these thoughts. My therapist has worked with me on accepting these thoughts as I may always have them at times but I am having a hard time doing that right now. I just am fantasizing about if I were gone. Does anyone understand? I know I truly want to get better and be happy because I am working hard in therapy and have not and am not giving up.

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It's frustrating to be working so hard and wanting to get better, yet still get these kinds of thoughts. I am by no means suicidal, but I, too, get the occasional "dead would be an improvement" thoughts. They usually come when I am having a bad spell, and since I know I will not act on them, I am more able to set them aside. Since you have said you won't act on them either, would it be better to fantasize instead on the person you would like to be when you finish therapy? Let your imagination run with that, instead of running with thoughts of death. There is a lot we can't control, but thoughts are one thing we can. Determine in your mind that you will not dwell on death. Choose a topic to dwell on instead, and keep changing your thoughts to the positive.

Hang in there!

Does your therapist also try to get to the root of your pain?

It is better to have a caring group of people who can be there to live, hear and backup you you is possibly the most crucial thing you can do, apart from seeking medical treatment to help you in improving your thoughts.

I deal with the same thoughts daily. I don't tell others except on here..

Thanks for all your help. JustWannaDissapear, I have talked about it with my therapist for a long time and it has been helpful. A therapist will not put you in the hospital unless you have a plan and intent to act on it. They rather you not go into the hospital. Talking about it on here helps but talking to a professional is important. Please think about talking to a professional. They can help you with your suicidal thoughts.
Hugs

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I want to be free from my suicidal thoughts but I will always have them at times throughout my life. I have them now and I hate them. It sucks. I just want to experience life from somebody without a mental illness for a day but maybe not bc that would make it more depressing to live my life. Why do I need to struggle so much and others out there don't. I just wish I did not have to live life having bipolar, ocd, and trichotillomania. Maybe I am feeling sorry for myself and I need to stop but it makes me angry that I am like this and I can't change it. Somewhat I can get better but not completely. I never will.

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The thing is, your not alone. I so want to be free from the suicidal thoughts, but they help me to become stronger mentally. I hope to find a way that will help people like us, by using the strenght of the mind to heal it's self. Or at least that's my thinking now.

It is possible to get rid of the thoughts, but if you don't get down to the root of the problem, then the thoughts do not go away completely.

I agree with most of the other posts.

Until you can get to the root of the problem, you are just treating the symptoms rather than the cause.

Keep working hard to find the root cause and I think the thoughts will start subside.

For me, I do not think my suicidal thoughts will ever completely go away even if I get to the root of the problem. I have been thinking suicidal thoughts since I was in early elementary school and now I am almost 32. I think it will always come and go for me and the thoughts will be of different intensities. I need to remember to accept that I am having these thoughts not judging myself and not fight them and beating myself up. I need to remember that I am still making progress and am doing well when I'm having suicidal thoughts. This is so hard but I'm trying. I have talked about this in therapy a few times.

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Me too,I've planned my suicide notes,funeral etc in great detail,then I look around and see those with terminal illnesses and I think I should be grateful,but truth is with me being in constant physical pain and this stupid mental illness I've had forever I wish I knew my life was going end soon (only being honest) sorry if I've upset anyone
Jk