about three weeks ago, i was called out to go talk to an elderly man who was really stressed out. his wife has Alzheimers and is at home. she was refusing her meds.

i was sitting on her bed and he was in a chair and i reached over to hold her hand and she swung back and hit me as hard as she could in the left breast. i only have the one implant now (other breast is natural tissue...from the reconstruction) and it is a very small saline one. i think she ruptured it.

the pain is old and familiar. i can feel fluid under my arm. i had an RN friend check it and she can feel fluid also. however, it hasn't increased any and that means that the leak has stopped. and the body will absorb the saline. BUT, the pain is killing me. 24/7. it burns a lot and then i pull my left shoulder up to compensate and that causes a muscle spasm to come under my left shoulder blade. i've had two massages and it helps (my daughter arranges them for me) but it's temporary.

i talked to a surgeon (no insurance) and she agrees with what the RN and i think but says if it goes on much longer, she wants to see me. i don't know what i'm going to do. i will not have any more surgery now. it's been 5 years next month and i am not mentally prepared to be cut open again.

the fluid does appear to be going down somewhat, but not as fast as i want it to. the pain is just like it was years ago when the silicone implants ruptured. once you've felt it, you never, ever forget it.

i'm trying to maintain my cheerfulness and continuing to counsel drive around the rural areas to different patients. driving really does cause it to burn more.

i won't take NARCOTICS. all i will take is darvocet, the smallest dosage. i hate lortab and the others. i don't like feeling high or woozy. the breakthough pain at night is really hard on me. and i'm losing weight as i am never hungry now.

i was 31 when i had breast cancer and i'm frigging 63 now.......i hate the FDA with a vengeance..........

end of whine. xoxoxo pat

[wisewoman]

Pat, why won't you take stronger time-released meds? They do not make you feel high? Also, what is your new job? I forget. Pain sucks it right outa you. Time released morphine or oxicontin.

I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I hope it stops soon.

Too much pain for too long tires the heart. Be careful my friend.

(((((((((((((Pat)))))))))))))

I am soooo sorry this experience happened to you... Oh man, you didn't even see it coming - the worse kind there is.

Pain - (hugggs)

freewill

i am very small. 5' and 110. everything effects me more...maybe my metabolism is weird. i love morphine but it makes me dreamy and sleepy. i got through last night without anything and didn't wake up with pain. that's BIG. i'm trying very hard to follow a strict bedtime schedule and it seems to help a lot.

if my landlord would pay a plumber to inspect my gas lines, i could have good heat. as it is i have to use space heaters and that heat is too spotty. i get cold and then the pain really socks me. so i wear layers and layers.........

i'm working today. supposed to be off but will have to drive all over to see patients. i counsel geratric homebound patients.

i'd have to say that the blow sure surprised me. i've been hit and had my hair pulled but never sucker punched before...... but i don't blame the patient at all. it's her disease. in fact, i see her today.

thanks, guys xoxoxo pat

[Boopers]

Oh Pat,

Hon, I'm so sorry this happened. Boy, what bad luck as to where her punch landed. It's bad enough to be punched but sucker-punched and not having time to be able to throw your arms up to deflect the punch, is bad.
I do hope that everything will be OK. I hope you will see positive results faster than what you have been seeing.
I want to say thank you for the job you do. It's a very kind and caring act.
I hope all the good you have done for people will come back to you, ten fold.
Thinking of you,
Linda

an update. i've had no pain in the past 30+ hours.....does that mean that the fluid is being absorbed?

i called my pharmacist and confirmed all that i know about the properties of saline. and i was right about the composition and how the body works with saline all of the time. i studied up about all of this before i had the saline implant put in. i already knew that i wouldn't use silicone, but i wanted to know all about saline.

working in ER, i saw thousands of saline drips.....into the bloodstream...and i'm assuming that it's a much slower process into tissue.

i really can't afford to see a surgeon right now and am going to try to go with it and see how i do. all your concern and support means so much to me.....see, i'm a tough ole bird and don't ask for much until i'm either in severe pain or scared....... love, pat

[nothemama8]

doll you are awesome, wish I could suck that saline out for you

pain is back............i'm about to come out of my skin. my granddaughter comes tomorrow for two days and i'm glad. she likes to "take care" of me.......heating pad and such.....but it's hard to keep up with her level of energy .

robert has offered to come over tomorrow night to help with dinner. thank god for good friends.

yesterday i went and picked a pizza up for us in my pajamas..... (he was cleaning my LR.....) well, it is TEXAS...... and i'm living in the liberal part..... plus i had my coat on......

dressing just seems to be too much right now.......so it's still pajamas and heating pad.

i think, pray, that the heating pad causes faster absorption of the saline. if you think about increased circulation, etc. etc., that makes sense and it sure does feel good.

i need some really gentle hugs.........xoxoxo pat

[wisewoman]

Take care of yourself sweetie. Heating pad is good. Hot water bottle better. Be well.

thanks, WW....sofa for me.............xoxoxo pat

[(JD)]

((((pat))))) I mentioned to my T just today about maybe someday coming in my PJs... because of a pain flare. and I'm in an upscale mecca of fashion down here... but who knows ME??? and who cares...let them experience our pain and they'll understand, right?

I hope you feel better soon.

thanks, sky. i love these pjs.....they are flannel and have cowgirls all over them.

i'm not hurting now but i know that the first attempt i make to do something, here we go again.........

hopefully the sun will shine today. that helps a lot....

(((((Pat))))

I'm so sorry for what you have gone through and the pain you are having now! It sounds very painful.

Would that be something you could file with Worker's Comp since it happened on the job?

I hope your granddaughter's visit and loving care make you feel so much better! Sit back and let others do for you....Can the dog cook?

Good for you for picking up pizza in pj's!! Stay as comfy as you can. I hope the saline will absorb quickly and you'll be feeling better soon!

(((HUGS)))

ECHOES

[Boopers]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Pat)))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry the pain is back. You are doing the right thing though. Taking it easy will help keep the pain at bay.
I wish you the best and hope that you let everyone else take care of you.
Good luck to you and keep us posted!!
Linda
BTW, those are gentle hugs!!