Angry when touched while sleeping

I don't know if this is something that anyone else deals with, or if it's something unrelated, or whatever, but...

I find that almost 90% of the time, if I'm on the edge of sleep or trying to sleep, my girlfriend will put a comforting arm around me, caress my shoulder, something sweet like that -- and these actions send me into a blind rage. Like, the don't-effing-touch-me kind. Obviously, this is NOT a good thing and I am NOT happy with this response, and I hate that she moves away from me or rolls over afterwards.

Has anyone else experienced this, and what was your solution (if any?). It's annoying and I want it to stop.

Also, side note, I am well. Classes suck, but my claim is at the rating board.

I have the same problem. The only time I can stand it is if I'm drunk. I just avoid sleeping with others.

Have you told your girlfriend how hard this is for you and asked her not to do it? Explained that it is triggering?

I know when people touch me to try and wake me up it is triggering (what am I saying, it is triggering whenever people touch me). I am known to react first and think second. I always tell people to let me know if they are coming up behind me etc.

Well, I /like/ her touching me. That's the problem. I wouldn't have an issue with it if all I had to do was tell her not to do it. I'm looking for thoughts on ways that I can /overcome/ this. I don't want to just live with it.

my own experience was a form of desensitization...only way that I can describe it.
day or night, no one comes up behind me without making some kind of noise...murmuring softly-slight cough-whatever.
bedtime/drifting off to sleep usually meant a whisper of, "I'm going to put my arm around your waist." it gave me a second to let my guard down and relax...grounded, if you will, that I no longer had to watch my back

took practice and a willing partner
and acceptance on my part that it was going to be this way for awhile

part of the PTSD package

I can relate to that as well. Outside of that, when I was in full sleep mode,and dreaming-I have actually punched,slapped and kicked my hubby. I dont always remember that-makes me feel horrible.

I experienced the same thing which is probably one of the reasons that ended my marriage. I spent the last two years of my marriage sleeping on the sofa after I got back from my tours sleeping was never the same. its understandable i mean what wife wants a husband that can't sleep with her and is pushing her away at night. But its very heartbreaking for me cause I didn't want my marriage to end I loved my wife and still do very much but she deserves better than me its just the way it goes I guess.

inappropriate for this spot

Congrats on hearing that your claim is at the rating board. I too am in the process of waiting on my claim for ptsd to go through. I was diagnosed while AD, saw a conselor at the vet center, and now a psychiatrist at the va.

I also have this problem, but I was attacked several times while in the Army. I am here if you need to talk anytime.

I used to have trouble with this since I was attacked by the enemy when I was asleep in combat area. But I now like being touched in my sleep, especially if the touch is in a sexual way.

heyyyyy Troy! long time no see! good to see you back!

Oh yes, this. Went back up north to visit the family, mom tried to wake me up and *wham*, I just startled and punched without even being awake. I had already warned all my family about this, and to wake me up verbally or by turning on the lights (I think Marines always wake up when the light are turned on, boot camp training!) but she forgot/ignored this (hard to tell with her) and got whomped. Fortunately (?) she's a bit fat so it was more surprise than hurt, since I got her in the belly. Anyway at least she was not angry about it, but it sure was embarrassing!

I have some friends who were in Kosovo, they have the same problem. So it doesn't seem to matter where you were in combat, or when, just that you were.

Hi Bebop ... All is good here ... doing much better. Decided to drop in and give PC a try again, limiting my reading, etc. just to this one forum -- got overwhelmed b4. Hope all is gud 4 u

Just want to let you know as a girlfriend it is hard to understand you don't want to be touched while sleeping.My bf does the same thing sometimes,Sometimes we can be laying next to and just snuggleing and he can't handle it.Im thinking time may be the only thing that helps.Your girlfriend loves you or she wouldn't be there.I will give you some advise (I wish someone would give him) When your awake give her a little reassurance that you love her and your attracted to and enjoy being with her.I have never been an insecure gf but the relationship I am in now has somehow lowered my self esteem a little, sometimes he is pushing away and I can't do anything about it,I just remind myself it's not him but the ptsd.I did speak to him about how I feel and it was hard as I didn't want to come off as being too needy.We as girlfriends understand or at least try.They say time heals thats what Im banking on..

What's inappropriate? his remark about his hyper alertness or did you make a remark that was converted to the word "inappropriate" ???

Hi, it's been a long time since I have been on here. I just wanted to update and thank everyone for the support. I am doing better now, though it seems that I still have issues when I am sleeping where I push my fiancee away. I am also having some lingering issues where cuddling bothers me before sleep, though I don't know if the two are related.

Have you had a talk with your finance and let her know you want her help with this? It's much easier for me to be pushed away by my husband knowing that "overall" he loves me and wants my help with his problems. If she knew that you regret her turning away, maybe you all could come up with something to try so she didn't turn away as quickly or so she spoke before she touched you or some combination of steps that you could gradually, over time, drop some of the steps as you got better/more comfortable?

Interesting.....I have not been in the military, no combat, no abuse of any kind growing up, but don't touch me when I'm sleeping or just as I have gone off to sleep. My poor daughter found it out the hard way. I had been exhausted after getting home from work & fell asleep on the sofa in the family room......she came up to me & kissed me good night before she went up to bed....I was sound asleep when she did that & I hit her & knocked her across the room.....I had no idea I even did it until I woke up later & my husband told me what had happened. I have always been that way from the time I was a kid. If my parents touched me when I was asleep, I would end up hitting them.

Needless to say, I went up to my daughters room & explained that this happens when I am asleep & get touched & that I didn't mean to hit her & that it didn't mean that I didn't love her.

She was very understanding.....interesting, the next time she wanted to touch me when I was sound asleep, she got a long stick & tapped me from across the room to get me to wake up first, Ah, gotta love the ingenious minds of children. My husband always knew just to stay away from me when I was asleep as my parents & I warned him up front & who knows, I might have punched him in my sleep a time or two that he may have never told me about.

I can understand those reactions after being in combat especially since I experience them without having any good reason for reacting in that way. Sometimes all we & others can do is accept the way things are & learn to live with it & work around the problems.