[Pup]

I find that the support room causes more distress for many people rather than making them feel better.

I also find that the support room is often used as the wrong room.

I'm not even sure what can be done about this.

Maybe discuss it here about what others think about the support room, and if they would like anything done to help change this and make others feel better about using the support room for the reason it is there, etc.

[little*rhino]

you're right, it does often cause distress... i have tried to go in and help sometimes but it gets overwhelming. It's like people swoop out of nowhere and one person cant do it all..

when in need of support it is far better to seek out the people you feel safe with and request their help privately...

i really recommend that people find people to help in this way rather than support room... one on one and no interruptions is better.

i'm sorry you had trouble there sweetie

Originally Posted by Pup

I find that the support room causes more distress for many people rather than making them feel better.

I also find that the support room is often used as the wrong room.

I'm not even sure what can be done about this.

Maybe discuss it here about what others think about the support room, and if they would like anything done to help change this and make others feel better about using the support room for the reason it is there, etc.

[Elysium]

I too have noticed this. I like the idea of the support room, but sometimes you are offering support to someone who really needs it and you are able to help them and then a few more people come in needing support or looking to talk, or to give support and it can really throw things off balance.

I have found that I like to be supportive, but if I go to the support room I end up getting bamboozled by several people all needing support and I feel like I have to help them. I end up in support room for an hour or more and when I finally make it out I am exhausted and overwhelmed myself.

What I prefer to do, is if someone I am offering support to, or getting support from is willing, I like to set up a private room for just us, so I can offer my support or get my support personally. This keeps distractions down and helps to keep the environment more beneficial to the support seeker. Then, if they feel they still would like more support or some social time with someone, they can go back into one of the public rooms.

We all like to be there for others when we can, but it is not helpful to anyone if the supports end up getting run-down in the process.

[Maven]

Having chatted in a number of mental health support rooms over the years, one problem I find with them is that it's kind of hard when more than one person needs support. You want to help, but maybe you're in there because you're going through stuff and need support, too, but you might not want to ask, or you do ask and the focus is shifted to someone else. It's not that you don't want to help others, but it's hard to focus on more than one person sometimes, especially when you need it yourself.

[Pup]

I find that some people are extremely rude and insensitive in that room sometimes, or they say things that are quite insulting to others.

I also don't like to say this, but some people do give off an attention seeking vibe.

I feel like that room is also used for the wrong room, sometimes people chit chat in there, and that's not why it is there, it is there for support, and support only.

I do think that many people can come in and bounce around the walls with their problems, which does make focusing and actually supporting quite difficult, especially if previous to that, there was a one on one support conversation going on. Regarding that, it may be best to make a room for the two who are conversing and focusing on one another, so then that is not broken.

However, this may then feel like the person(or people) who join the room may feel bad/guilty/alone or something if they are left alone without support.

Hard to get around... any suggestions?

[(JD)]

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...rt+chat&page=2

There's always lots of chatter about use of the chat rooms.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=54710&highlight=support

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...ght=chat+rooms

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...ght=chat+rooms

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showt...ght=chat+rooms

[AAAAA]

My own opinion is that if there are two people in the support room, that’s quite enough. I have been asked (and complied) to join people in support, which is totally up to the person in need of support imo. If you’re in need of support and two people are already in there either wait your turn outside the room OR create a new room with a title like “Support needed please”
<O</O

What a third party may see in support as idle chit chat may be a warming up or cooling down phase of support. <O</O
<O</O

I really do miss the eyeball feature of the old chat system that allowed you to see the other rooms and the members in it. And it seems to me that the old chat system informed you as to whether a room was private or public. I never know these days if it’s ok to enter a created room or not, so I just avoid them entirely as not to offend someone, but as suggested in previous threads a title asking for assistance would certainly catch someone’s eye if they were looking at Who’s in chat.<O</O
<O</O

[Pup]

Yes but some people may not be able to wait for support, they may need it at that very moment, for whatever reason. It's quite unfair to disallow people to come into that room just because 2 are already in there, isn't it? That room is for everyone who needs support, however, many seem to abuse that room for more than one reason...

[AAAAA]

I think perhaps people here overestimate the level of help they can get. Don’t get me wrong, that support room has been a life saver for me in my time of need, BUT if your need for help is so great that you cannot wait for someone else to finish up in the support room I think a hotline or emergency room would better suit your needs.<O</O
<O</O

[(JD)]

AAAAA thank you for validating me and my much previous request (that wasn't understood) that if you see 2 people in the support room, and you need support, make a new support room.

It's terribly difficult to give support to someone when others are interrupting the chat.

HOWEVER, if someone NEEDS urgent support, they need to call their doctor, or go to the ER.

Members can always check to see who is on (at the very bottom of the main Forum Index page) and request a Community Team Member to give them support if they can.

I do also miss the ability to -while in chat- SEE who is in the other rooms. You now can do that by keeping the main PC window open and using the CHAT drop down menu. This would also cut down on a few member's constant flitting from room to room and back again just to see who's in what room. That breaks up a regular chat, much more a support chat.

All in all I think the membership does fairly well in giving support to others and being considerate. Perhaps it's those few who are deep in their disorder or are reactive that make it appear to be a real issue rather than something workable.

Do your best and try to be considerate of others that might be more needy than you at the time.

[AAAAA]

(((Sky))) you and I have always agreed on this. I tried to check who else was in chat tonight and managed to someone boot myself out of the room I was in and ended up somewhere I had no desire to be lol, but we must roll with the punches.<O</O
<O</O
I also agree that the members here are outstanding offering understanding and support. I would also like to remind the members seeking support that there are a lot of caring individuals here, we take your problems to heart. It can be very draining. Not that people mind doing it, just that we must realize that not everyone is in a place to offer support at that moment.<O</O
<O</O
But as wonderful as the members here are, they cannot replace actual in real life help.<O</O
<O</O

[jerrymichele]

IMO I think that pc should have a therapist on call for the chat rooms. Or they should put up a crisis line. I have noticed that a lot of peeps go into the social room when they need to talk to someone. I like helping peeps, but sometimes I can't talk about certain things, because it is a trigger for me. I do agree if other peeps are using one room then someone else should start a new room if they need help.

[3velniai]

About 2 or more ppl in support room:
JMO, there is private chat option, so I don't see any problem when there are several ppl in the support room. The 2 ppl who talk can switch to "away" and move to private chat, and that's it, the conversation will not be interrupted ant the 3rd one who joins the chat sees that the other ppl aren't available.

Re Ts on call: I get the impression than most ppl here have their own Ts, so I don't think we need additional T here as most of the Ts are available for emergency calls from clients.

[DocJohn]

Hey folks, thanks for the feedback and ideas about the chat rooms.

I will emphasize this again, as some members apparently have a mistaken belief about an unwritten rule or something:

All chat rooms are opened to everyone in need, at any time. Except the teen and 21+ rooms, the other rooms have no exceptions.

That means that, contrary to what others have said in this thread, if you see 2 people in the Support Room, you are welcomed to join them. The Support Chat room is not meant as a private room for 2 people!

There is the simple-to-use capability in this chat system for anyone to create a private chat room if one is needed. If you need to chat in private, please use this feature of the chat system. Do not use the Support Room if you want to chat in private with one other individual, as that is not its intended purpose.

As for therapists on-call, we'd love to offer that as a feature in the future if we could afford to do so. Therapists are specialized and trained professionals and I expect that we could readily use one here 24/7. But because of their specialized training, they are also expensive and far beyond what I can afford at this time (for a free community!).

As for people being overwhelmed in a specific chat room, I have to say that this is up to you, as an individual member, to help manage when you're in chat. You can't have 10 people in Support all looking for support -- some people need to give while others get. If you're here and you can give, please do consider doing so in chat. But if you can't give, and see lots of other needy people in Support, consider not adding to the burden if you can do so. A self-help support community is meant to be just that -- self-help. This only works when people give as much as they get. Not all at the same time, obviously, but eventually.

Best,
DocJohn

Would there be somthing to be said about more than one support room ? Support 1. support 2. etc ? Then there would be no need to make your own room (which when you are distressed you really dont think of doing).

[Astraea]

Maybe I shouldn't go in anymore, as the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone's feelings. I never mean to intentionally, and I try to help when I have the mindset for it.

I think some people work best with one-on-one support, but maybe they don't realize they can make rooms and stuff...maybe make this more apparent somehow?

[sabby]

((((((((( Astraea )))))))))))

If you feel in need of support, as a PC member you have every right to go to the support room when you need to. Please don't let this kind of discussion run you off. It's a time of learning what more can be done and how the system was set up to work......not meant to scare anyone off from seeking the support they need.

Every now and again we have these kinds of discussions. We have many new members coming here every day and some longer term members who bring up what they feel are issues (it's all good that they do that!) so that we can get an open discussion and understanding about it


sabby

[(JD)]

I don't want anyone who needs support to not go into a room and ask for it. The very situation is why it's been discussed a few times here: People who are in need of support CAN'T seem to handle having several conversations going on at once. (This is even evidenced in the weekly Q & A chat.)

Many that I have helped can't even manage what it takes to go with me to a private chat room. Trying to explain how to use the private chat window ONLY in the support room can be equally as difficult for them. Believe it or not. ( I guess everyone needs to go into the chat rooms and learn how to use this option ahead of time???) Think about others PMing them, and them trying to go from window to window or to find who sent what to them, etc, if they even find the private window!

I think some of us have come up with good possible "solutions" in the past, trying to just help ease any possible situation with someone who can't manage much more than clicking on the support room link.

Sometimes when someone is needing that level of support the only real support is to urge them to call their doctor. Even that takes clarity of chat, though. We aren't being arrogant or bossy or possessive (as anyone who helps in chat and has been in such above situations knows) but trying to help alleviate angst on all sides.

None of us that I know will withdraw our support in chat if we're already there. However, for me, I know "how many" are in the room makes a difference as to whether I even enter that room in the first place.

[pegasus]

I am very glad we have a support room.

Just had a brainwave! How about the people who are doing the supporting type in one colour (ie green) and the people needing support type in another colour (ie purple.) That way everyone will know who is supporting and who is needing support. It's not always easy to know who is who and would make it easier for those needing support. I have found in the past that having several people doing the supporting can work very well. Group support can work very well and can be a good experience for those needing support. You are not alone folks! Good self-care needs to be done if everyone in there happens to be needing support but sometimes supporting someone else when we are distressed ourselves can make us feel better. Wouldn't it be good if someone goes in the support room for support and comes out of there as a supporter! He he! Yes, lets help each other.

[I_WMD]

Originally Posted by Pup

I find that some people are extremely rude and insensitive in that room sometimes, or they say things that are quite insulting to others.

I also don't like to say this, but some people do give off an attention seeking vibe.

I feel like that room is also used for the wrong room, sometimes people chit chat in there, and that's not why it is there, it is there for support, and support only.

I do think that many people can come in and bounce around the walls with their problems, which does make focusing and actually supporting quite difficult, especially if previous to that, there was a one on one support conversation going on. Regarding that, it may be best to make a room for the two who are conversing and focusing on one another, so then that is not broken.

However, this may then feel like the person(or people) who join the room may feel bad/guilty/alone or something if they are left alone without support.

Hard to get around... any suggestions?

Sometimes it works out if two peeps who are focusing on an individual topic put themselves on away and do a private chat ,, then when finished return to room while still on away and observe >> that way if one of the two that are still on away >> have anymore to work out or help resolve as the support topic was ,, they can drop back to private ...

Sometimes even when doing one on one support ya need to distract for a moment and then continue ....

WMD.

[Lost71]

Oh, I so think I have wrong idea of support room reading this thread! I either go in there expecting to support one person with prob...or go in there hoping to get support for self which never happens

*tapes mouth shut*

[DocJohn]

Well, there are a lot of ways to engage in a private conversation with another person, so I'll suggest the simplest -- only 3 steps -- create a private room for the two of you and password protect it.

1. Pick a name for your room and the password you will use. Keep it simple and share it in a private message in chat with the person who needs support. Tell them to wait a minute, and then look for the room in the list by clicking on the Rooms List icon:



2. After you've shared that information with the person, click on that icon, then click on the "Create Room" button.

3. A new window will pop up asking you for the room name to create, with the option to password protect it. If you don't want to be bothered while in chat, add a simple password.

This way, you're in your own room, and others can't bother you while you're giving support.

DocJohn

[kim_johnson]

I've largely given up on the support room because I find it quite overwhelming when people need support... And aren't willing or able to reciprocate a little. I can have some wonderful chats with people sometimes that turn out to be MUTUALLY supportive and beneficial but really struggle with feeling like there is too much need in the world otherwise...

The answer (for me) has indeed been to set up another room with people who I am chatting comfortably with. Kinda sad... But one must do what one needs to do to take care of oneself, sometimes. And yes, even when attempting to support others.

I dont see why its kinda sad ....... It makes sense to me.

[kim_johnson]

I think it is sad because it cuts me off from potential further sources of support. And Some of the nicest conversations that I've had in chat have been with a person who I've never met before. I guess its kinda random what you get though. And mostly... I feel like I've been burned with chat. I dunno. Just sad that I"m not in a better place, I guess.