[Moogieotter]

I like this thread. It brings up important points for the community and the chat rooms. If some of the regular chatters can be mindful of them and also help tamster and the other mods move people to the other rooms when there is no one actively seeking or providing emotional support.

On the moderator team, ES is one of the last places mods can step in and use moderator tools to move people around. I usually just state in the room "If you are not actively receiving or providing emotional support, please move to another room."

Thanks,

moogs

[Sprite22]

Originally Posted by emwell

I once felt obligated to say high to everyone who entered chat. After awhile I found this to be almost impossible and a tad stressful.
I do my best to greet anyone I have never seen before, but sometimes I am not actually paying attention and can miss people.

I have been around for a bit and know a few people. There are still times when I do not get greeted when i enter chat. Sometimes I take this personally and let my head run with all sorts of paranoid thoughts. Other times I realize how fast chat might be going and see how easily I could be missed. Other times I am reminded that many people could be in PM and not notice me. And sometimes I remember that even though someone's name is listed, does not mean they are paying attention. I guess it all depends on where my head is at.

Thank you Mountainbard. I have wanted to say a lot of this for awhile and you inspired me.

I so agree Em. I find it hard to say hello to every single name, especially if I can't even pronounce the name.

[Sprite22]

I can't help but make friends in chat. We have grown close, there is no denying that. I try to make welcome anyone and everyone. I run into names that are stressful to type...there for I skip it. We are good friends in chat. I can't do anything about that. It happened. I try so much to support others as needed. And a giggle never hurt anyone.

[baseline]

Originally Posted by Sprite22

Sometimes goofing off gets carried away. No harm intended. I give support no matter what room I use.

I agree spite. I don't change according to the room I am in! I try to be supportive and act how I would like to be treated. Mental Illness is no excuse for hurtful or demeaning behavior. I have found a lot of support and kindness here!

[baseline]

Originally Posted by Sprite22

I so agree Em. I find it hard to say hello to every single name, especially if I can't even pronounce the name.

Hey em, or shall I call you oh wise one!! I agree chatting in any crowded room can be hard. I try my best to acknowledge everyone also because you are right it feels bad to not be acknowledged. It can feel like rejection which many of us fear to begin with!
It's also almost my One year anniversary here at PC and I am still as interested as in day one because of people like you!!

[Sprite22]

I can hug you here, but might find that distasteful Baseline. You are right, we try hard to welcome all users. And treat them fairly in any room.

starting to feel like a chat room in here, too.

Have a great day, everyone.

[phaset]

Originally Posted by emwell

I once felt obligated to say high to everyone who entered chat. After awhile I found this to be almost impossible and a tad stressful.

I was not talking about people entering, I was talking about people who say hi and have no one answer them. How is someone new, or like me just not around much anymore, supposed to feel comfortable asking for support in ES if they say hi and are ignored while a group of friends continue on with their idle chit chat?

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[Steiner of Thule]

People expect too much out of the chatrooms I feel.

Not everyone here is a counselor or is it there job to assist, if someone chooses to listen and talk, cool. If someone doesn't then perhaps try again later. I'm sure most people come to talk about themselves and I guess that is also the case when one person talking about themselves then another person is going to feel ignored. Honestly lately people are whining just to whine and it's getting obnoxious, the room has been pretty swell with telling people to move to other rooms as of late so I'm not sure what you expect if not every person on earth to have the PC handbook ingrained into their skull and habits.

It just seems like people's problems with chat are more connected to problems with people in general and you can't expect complete control over people which is what it sounds like when people talk about how everyone didn't drop everything to support someone.

What do you expect the admins to do? Install bots with random mental illnesses in the chat that you could console with as much as you'd like?

I hope people can tell I'm a little pissed off at people here because it's never "perfect." Always another thing that's wrong. Just stop.

All the resources required are there. PMs especially which is how it probably should be handled if you want to support someone. Or the ignore feature. It's all there already.

All you do at this point with this much whining about how it's never perfect is make people like the poster above paranoid.

Another thing like Bachir mentioned being a problem are people that come in without seeing any context and telling people to move to another room. It's like going onto an airplane and yelling bomb without actually seeing a bomb. Incredibly rude and more along the lines of being controlling.

From what I can tell everyone whining really just wants more control over others. That the world revolves around them and their need to either have all the attention or the need to fulfill the desire to control others.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/chat-...hile-chat.html

A lot of good points in the link

[BeaFlower]

I'm sorry for everyone who had bad experiences in chat. I don't chat very often, but when I used the Emotional Support chat room, both to give and receive support, I had good experiences.
Anna, if I understood your question, yes, I think that it's allowed to talk a bit also about these 'general' things in the ES chat room, though they aren't related to support, but the main topic should remain related to support. Hope to have understood well

Originally Posted by Steiner of Thule

People expect too much out of the chatrooms I feel.

Not everyone here is a counselor or is it there job to assist, if someone chooses to listen and talk, cool. If someone doesn't then perhaps try again later. I'm sure most people come to talk about themselves and I guess that is also the case when one person talking about themselves then another person is going to feel ignored. Honestly lately people are whining just to whine and it's getting obnoxious, the room has been pretty swell with telling people to move to other rooms as of late so I'm not sure what you expect if not every person on earth to have the PC handbook ingrained into their skull and habits.

Another thing like Bachir mentioned being a problem are people that come in without seeing any context and telling people to move to another room. It's like going onto an airplane and yelling bomb without actually seeing a bomb. Incredibly rude and more along the lines of being controlling.

people warp teh guidlines and rules to fit their own convenience

in a room called "emotional support" it should be primary that. emotional support. there are five other rooms where casual chit chat can happen. i don't see why people like to come into emotional chat and purposefully ignore members needing emotional support simply because they want to be selfish and keep talking in their own casual conversation

***Just a reminder about the Support room: This room is for members in need of immediate support. Many find this room extremely helpful when they are going through something in need of immediate attention. Once the need for immediate support has been resolved, please move conversation to another room, so that Support is open for other members in need of immediate support.

that is in the this thread

so its already been established by admins over and over that the emotional support room is for emotional support primarily yet the members dont seem to want to enforce that

[Mountainbard]

Anna, Beaflower is right. It is ok to have some light chat in the Emotional Support room. Besides, what you say in chat is always kind and loving. This as true always.

[Mountainbard]

I have been coming out of a long depression, which is a big part of why I've been so active in the Emotional Support room since I came back to PC. Doing so got me out of my own head and helping others made me feel like I was doing something useful-- the first time I'd felt that way in over 2 1/2 years. So yes-- I got emotionally invested in the ES room. As I've read the replies to this post I've mulled over this fact, and realized that I was over-invested in ES. There are other ways I can (and will) continue to support people on PC without investing 3-4 hours of my day. And if somebody wants to do that, for whatever reason, that's their business.

My emotional response to some of the threads has been extreme, which is one of the things that made me realize I was over-invested. I've processed those emotions and realized what I need to say. And that is, to those who have had negative experiences in ES, I'm sorry. To those who disagreed with me (some vehemently), I'm sorry I got you so riled up. I didn't intend to anger people as much as I obviously did. I wish you all well.

[Turtleboy]

guys please remember that the emotional support room is strictly for people struggling with emotional turmoil at that particular time, there are many other rooms to chit chat in and we dont need 15 people in emotional support deciding who gets listened to and who doesnt, there is no no need for more than a handful of people in there at any one time, please use the coffeehouse if you wish to chat or the adult room if the topics are are little more "blue", again dont hang around emotional support in a large group thinking maybe someone might need support at some point
thanks

[amandalouise]

suggestion .... something that may be very useful instead of hanging out waiting for people to enter emotional support for emotional support. ...at the top of the forum page is a tab called chat. by scrolling onto this then clicking who is in chat you can see whether someone is in the emotional support room. then people can pop in and ask if anyone that is in there actually needs immediate emotional support. if no one says yes and details their problem then exit the Emotional Support...

this way Emotional Support doesnt get bogged down with people sitting around waiting for someone to need emotional support.

another suggestion.....I rarely use the chat rooms but have been known to check who is in chat and then pm someone that I know who appears in the emotional chat room listing to check on them and see if there is anything I can do to help them through pm'ing, maybe people wishing to be available for emotional support of others can check the who's in chat feature for the Emotional Support room then pm those that they may know to let them know they are available at that moment. this too may cut down on people just sitting around emotional chat room chit chatting while waiting for someone to enter that may need immediate emotional support. this works out great for those that I know and want to offer emotional support to, without all the hassles of chat room activity that could detract from my friends needs.

[emwell]

I thought I was letting this thread go, but apparently I am not ready too.

again dont hang around emotional support in a large group thinking maybe someone might need support at some point

I will continue to hang around emotional support. Maybe not in a large group but definitely by myself or with a few others. And I will be there just in case someone needs support. No one is going to go into emotional support when they need to if no one is there. and maybe that person will need chit chat to help them open up and talk. It is much easier to go into a room like ES when you need to if people are already there. It is easier than going to another room and stating "I need support." Although I did just do that, I am a tad different than most. Instead of going to ES, I had 2 gentlemen PM me.

If I am wrong in my thinking, let me know. I CAN handle the truth. I am expressing my opinion only and that can't be wrong.

Originally Posted by DocJohn

Well, I need to clarify -- emotional support is *primarily* for emotional support. Coffeehouse is *primarily* for social chat. This isn't a black and white issue and people are welcomed to occasionally chat about one or the other in the "wrong" room.

All we ask is that people be aware and respectful of the room that they are in, and keep their off-topic, social chat to a minimum while in ES. And if someone specifically asks people to move a social conversation elsewhere, the other members respect the request and simply move (without it becoming an issue).

Of course social conversation will happen in ES. We only ask that people keep it to a minimum.

Thanks,
DocJohn

I just don't know who to listen to.
Do not misunderstand me. If I am asked by a moderator to leave a room, I will listen. If that room is emotional support and if I notice it empties out completely, I may return,
and
I don't like being alone.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/coffe...ml#post4747318

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[pegasus]

I do hope people are not abusing this feature. Imagine being in the depths of dispair, you wouldn't want 6 or 7 people in there would you. Let's make it a support room please.

[emwell]

I understand Anna
I am there now.

Baseline just came in too

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( Anna )))))))))

[Steiner of Thule]

Originally Posted by pegasus

I do hope people are not abusing this feature. Imagine being in the depths of dispair, you wouldn't want 6 or 7 people in there would you. Let's make it a support room please.

Wouldn't you just PM though if you didn't want other people there?

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by pegasus

I do hope people are not abusing this feature. Imagine being in the depths of dispair, you wouldn't want 6 or 7 people in there would you. Let's make it a support room please.

Actually, I would want as much support as I can get.

[where_to_begin]

Originally Posted by pegasus

I do hope people are not abusing this feature. Imagine being in the depths of dispair, you wouldn't want 6 or 7 people in there would you. Let's make it a support room please.

If 6 or 7 people are in there, you might only get one or two who are responding and helping you effectively. Some people listed in chat may be temporarily away from the computer or elsewhere online.

[12AM]

In my humble opinion, i don't get along with the idea 'ES is broken'. No offense to anybody, but we all here because we have difficulties. We are not doctors, we have a right to ignore people sometimes which i believe we never meant to, it is because once again, we have difficulties. If we are able to give support everysingle time then we won't be here, we will be out there helping people with mental illness. Instead of accusing that others are ignoring us, why don't we think that they, right now, are not able to give any support. In the other side, yes we should try our best to give support to anyone who needs it. In this case, we should not get offended as well by people saying we ignored them because, just like us, they also have difficulties. Let's have a mutual understanding then?