me and some others were in chat today and we were told that we can't talk about things that concern us because everyone thought we were "delusional" and everyone ganged up on us and called us "delusional" and told us to leave chat because they had a "right to a chat without delusions"

wtf is up with this?!

this is a mental health chat, why cant we discuss things that concern us? why is it that THEY deserve a chat "without delusions" but WE apparently DONT deserve a chat where we can openly talk about the things that concern us?!

can someone please explain why PC chat is afraid of mental health?

[fuion]

yes i was there and this did happen. its getting to the point where people with schizophrenia are being bullied into not talking about their problems. where are we supposed to get support for what is happening to us if in mental health chat we cannot even speak about it. this is unacceptable. and there are many of us.

[88Butterfly88]

So sorry to hear that Kori! You deserve chat as much as much as anyone else. I can't explain their behavior, but I thought I'd stop by to give you a hug.

[*Laurie*]

I have never participated in PC chat, but what was done to you sounds very inconsiderate.

Perhaps what would have been more tactful of them was to suggest you discuss that topic in Emotional Support, as opposed to Coffeehouse because that is supposed to be for more casual, lighthearted chat. To tell you to leave completely is inappropriate though, and I'm sorry that happened to you. Were I still a chat moderator, I would have had a private conversation with those people.

[Altarian]

And it's because of this sort of things that i've never gone to PC chat. I'd get banned from the entire site for life because i wouldn't put up with that sort of thing.

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

Perhaps what would have been more tactful of them was to suggest you discuss that topic in Emotional Support, as opposed to Coffeehouse because that is supposed to be for more casual, lighthearted chat. To tell you to leave completely is inappropriate though, and I'm sorry that happened to you. Were I still a chat moderator, I would have had a private conversation with those people.

They told us to go to adult chat even though what we were talking about wasnt adult orientated
and they said they had a "right to a chat without delusions"
what about OUR rights?! dont we have the right to chat about things that concern us without being judged and told we are crazy?!

[IrisBloom]

Kori, did you report this to the mods? If it were me, I'd let them sort it out and tell you what you should do in such a case.

I'm sorry you had to experience this.

[fuion]

They also told us we were going to be locked up in a mental hospital

[amandalouise]

I wasnt in chat but from the sounds of this thread sounds like discrimination in the chat rooms is happening. maybe contact a moderator that can get to the bottom of this for you.

[DocJohn]

I'm very sorry to hear that this happened to you, and I completely agree with you that it sounds as if you don't feel like you have a place to talk about your concerns.

We have different chat rooms on our chat system for different types of conversations. The Coffeehouse is not the place to talk about your problems, it is specifically intended just for light-hearted, social conversations that are not necessarily mental-health related.

We have an Emotional Support room for specific discussion of mental health issues, and members wishing to have such discussions need to do so in that room. That's the way our chat has always been organized, in order to give members choices. Not everyone is in a good place to be able to talk about emotional issues, hence the Coffeehouse (and other rooms).

If members don't abide by the terms of these different rooms, then it makes chat a little less useful and safe for ALL members. It's just as if instead of having different forums for different topics, we just had one big forum and made everyone post to that single forum.

I think it can be frustrating from both sides of the issue, both members who want to talk about these things and those who can't talk about these things. By going to the chat room set aside for that specific topic of conversation, it helps keep this frustration level minimized.

I know this doesn't solve people's rudeness, but if you have a specific report about a specific incident, you can report that directly to me via PM (not here in this thread), and we can take a further look into the matter.

Thanks for your understanding,
DocJohn

Unfortunately we had moderators in the room with us at the time and they did absolutely nothing to stop it
In fact they said we talked about "our delusions too much anyway"

Yet when other members come in and talk about divorce, suicide or self harm no one tells THEM to leave and they are all supportive of them and willing to go to emotional support with them or they just support them in the coffeehouse

How come THEY get to talk about what concerns them, but the schizophrenics can't? It is definitely discrimination and I just want to know why we can't talk about the things that concern us but others can?

The mods just go by what everyone else in the chat room wants

Originally Posted by DocJohn

I'm very sorry to hear that this happened to you, and I completely agree with you that it sounds as if you don't feel like you have a place to talk about your concerns.

We have different chat rooms on our chat system for different types of conversations. The Coffeehouse is not the place to talk about your problems, it is specifically intended just for light-hearted, social conversations that are not necessarily mental-health related.

We have an Emotional Support room for specific discussion of mental health issues, and members wishing to have such discussions need to do so in that room. That's the way our chat has always been organized, in order to give members choices. Not everyone is in a good place to be able to talk about emotional issues, hence the Coffeehouse (and other rooms).

If members don't abide by the terms of these different rooms, then it makes chat a little less useful and safe for ALL members. It's just as if instead of having different forums for different topics, we just had one big forum and made everyone post to that single forum.

I think it can be frustrating from both sides of the issue, both members who want to talk about these things and those who can't talk about these things. By going to the chat room set aside for that specific topic of conversation, it helps keep this frustration level minimized.

I know this doesn't solve people's rudeness, but if you have a specific report about a specific incident, you can report that directly to me via PM (not here in this thread), and we can take a further look into the matter.

Thanks for your understanding,
DocJohn

Thanks DocJohn
If this happens again me and the other schizophrenic members are definitely going to report because this kind of behavior was discrimination and definitely put a damper on the chat experience

[DocJohn]

Keep in mind that most moderation actions take place in private and you will not see it because the conversation is happening outside of the public room. I will contact the mods in the room at the time to ensure they understand how to handle issues like this in the future.

Again, my apologies.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm very sorry this happened

[Hairball]

Would it be possible in this new chat room forum we are getting to have more specialized rooms?

Other mental health chats have a variety of categories people can visit in, that way people don't feel alone with their MI because that is what chat is for. SUPPORT

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by Kori Anders

Yet when other members come in and talk about divorce, suicide or self harm no one tells THEM to leave and they are all supportive of them and willing to go to emotional support with them or they just support them in the coffeehouse

Kori, you're absolutely right...the other day I popped into the coffee house and said, "I can't believe my ex husband proposed to his girlfriend on Sunday 4 days after our divorce was legally finalised"....

But I didn't continue a conversation that went on about it, we changed the topic, I probably would have been told by a mod to go to ES if I had gone on about it. I think sometimes these random one lines get thrown in when I'm/others just thinking out loud. Oops. Sorry if that offended I think you were there at the time.

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

Kori, you're absolutely right...the other day I popped into the coffee house and said, "I can't believe my ex husband proposed to his girlfriend on Sunday 4 days after our divorce was legally finalised"....

But I didn't continue a conversation that went on about it, we changed the topic, I probably would have been told by a mod to go to ES if I had gone on about it. I think sometimes these random one lines get thrown in when I'm/others just thinking out loud. Oops. Sorry if that offended I think you were there at the time.

I didnt see you make that post
but I know in the past we've had members who were going through divorce come into coffeehouse and talk about it every single time they came into chat and no one NO ONE told them to leave or shut up or said that they "talked about it too much"

The problem is that there is never anyone in ES. If, as it's been said, this is "first and foremost a mental health support site" then I don't understand why people should have to avoid talking about mental health, in any room. If people don't want to be around these types of discussions there are thousands of other chats on the internet they can go to.There is a huge difference between talking about your problems and something that's extremely graphic and triggering, which I feel should be in PM anyway since there's no trigger code in chat like in the forums.

Sorry not trying to argue, just my opinion.

[Crazy Hitch]

Originally Posted by iPhone

The problem is that there is never anyone in ES. If, as it's been said, this is "first and foremost a mental health support site" then I don't understand why people should have to avoid talking about mental health, in any room. If people don't want to be around these types of discussions there are thousands of other chats on the internet they can go to.There is a huge difference between talking about your problems and something that's extremely graphic and triggering, which I feel should be in PM anyway since there's no trigger code in chat like in the forums.

Sorry not trying to argue, just my opinion.

I don't really want to join one of the thousands of other chats on the internet...I prefer to stay here to be honest as I feel part of the community. It's not that we're meant to avoid talking about mental health, it's just that there are different rooms set up for different purposes. And I agree with you on the extremely graphic thing I think.

*sips coffee*

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

I don't really want to join one of the thousands of other chats on the internet...I prefer to stay here to be honest as I feel part of the community. It's not that we're meant to avoid talking about mental health, it's just that there are different rooms set up for different purposes. And I agree with you on the extremely graphic thing I think.

*sips coffee*

I didn't say people who agree that rooms are for different things need to join another chat. I said that if people don't want to deal with mental health at all another chat might suit their needs better. Obviously I'm not talking about people who actively post in the forums and support others.

I'm talking about those who freak if even one small thing related to MH is said in the coffeehouse. And sure, they don't have to leave but it's like going on a site about computers and suggesting people don't mention computers.

'This gives me a thought
For the next chat client I think we should have a room where we can chat about anything (besides things that are obviously against the rules)

Either that or we have separate rooms for separate disorders so that people who are too triggered by reality of general mental illness can find solace in a room with likeminded people

I know of a site that has their chat separated into three categories, "General chat", "mixed general and serious chat" and "serious chat"

Maybe something like that could work for us?

[DocJohn]

No amount of redefining or renaming the chat rooms is going to change the fact that people will congregate in a single chat room, as that's human nature. It also won't stop people from wanting to talk about what's important to them, regardless of what chat room they are in.

People are looking for a kind of chat perfection, perfectly delineated rooms where topics are strictly regulated. That's simply never going to happen, and so I'd encourage folks to reset their expectations.

We can encourage members to be respectful of the chat room topics, and don't go into a room to discuss something not appropriate to that room. But everyone needs to do that consistently for it to work, and it seems apparent that this has not always happened with the current chat system... New technology or a new design of chat rooms, however, is not going to solve this ongoing concern.

It's a difficult situation, and I appreciate that there is no easy solution to the issue.

I had something specific I wanted to talk about yesterday. I asked if anyone wanted to listen, and offer help, if they could meet me in a different chat room, and they did. Just something to think about if you really want to talk about a certain thing. No muss, no fuss. The situation did get interpreted in a couple different ways because I don't think I was able to clearly communicate what was actually going on, but that's alright. I appreciated the input.

I think if we had a mixed general and serious chat, then that would greatly reduce the amount of times that someone talks about things that are inappropriate for the room

As, the room will be made for both serious subjects and non-serious subjects and most likely people would gravitate towards that room because its what they would expect for a mental health chat

I get that you dont like me or anything I suggest
But I've seen this work for many other places and I think as a mental health chat we should first and foremost be able to discuss mental health