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  #1  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 03:48 AM
Anonymous32451
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I think their needs to be a sticky thread in this section, if you want your account deleted, post in here

seems to me that a lot of the threads in this section ask that exact same question.. can I have my account deleted.

we need like a central thread for everyone who wants this I think

also for people who want to change their usernames
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  #2  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 04:10 AM
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I hate seeing those "please delete my account" posts when admins could just be pm'ed.

Really sad to me personally when some members leave *sigh*
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  #3  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 05:47 AM
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As our Help section clearly states, posting publicly that you want your account deleted is not a way to get your account deleted. You simply need to PM any Administrator (who isn't me) to be put into the queue of account deletions for the week. We don't do them any faster than that, sorry, and we don't make special exceptions.

I know people just expect things to happen with very little effort on their part, but we would ask that members please take the time to check the FAQ for frequently asked questions like this. That's what it is there for.

Thanks.
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  #4  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DocJohn View Post
As our Help section clearly states, posting publicly that you want your account deleted is not a way to get your account deleted. You simply need to PM any Administrator (who isn't me) to be put into the queue of account deletions for the week. We don't do them any faster than that, sorry, and we don't make special exceptions.

I know people just expect things to happen with very little effort on their part, but we would ask that members please take the time to check the FAQ for frequently asked questions like this. That's what it is there for.

Thanks.
I so agree that deleting posts threads should not be on the boards. it does make me worry about someone when I see delete my account posts. my imagination runs wild, then to settle myself down I go to that persons profile to see if there is a problem going on that can be reported to get that person help.

then sometimes I notice the delete my account threads turn into goodbye threads where everyone is in an uproar attacking each other, the situation and begging the member to stay. which makes things worse on everyone who notices this member in so much pain that they want to leave.

but on the issue of reading FAQ to find out how to do that.. in the heat of the moment I dont know anyone (including me here) that takes the time to read. the heat of the moment is reaction time for me not read time for me. when things go wrong here my first reaction isnt spend alot of time trying to sort through a bunch of stuff. my first reaction is report or pm a moderator or my friends.

my point instead of making members in the heat of a crisis have to shuffle through threads and posts to find how to delete their account... (and I have mentioned this before) how about a sticky thread labeled .....Delete my Account.... then inside the post how to get the account deleted, taking the time to explain you dont allow posts and threads asking for this on the boards. maybe even making your reply here the post for the sticky thread.
and if you dont want people to post in the thread have it locked like other informative but not reply type threads.

this way when a member in the heat of a crisis comes in here to post their delete request they will see right away what they need to do and what not to do. no shuffling through the FAQ to find the info, no delete my account threads and then worry when their thread has been deleted but their account is still there and all that stuff.
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  #5  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 11:49 AM
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It's very clear in the FAQ - How can I cancel or delete my account? ... https://forums.psychcentral.com/faq....ni#faq_removal
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  #6  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 12:22 PM
Anonymous32451
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Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch View Post
I hate seeing those "please delete my account" posts when admins could just be pm'ed.

Really sad to me personally when some members leave *sigh*


I get sad about it too

mainly because most people that delete are real regular posters.

I like to think that the reason people delete accounts is because they are doing better and don't need as much support, but you just never know.

everyone has their own reason and i'm sure 1 member's reason to delete their account is just as valid as the next
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  #7  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 02:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pegasus View Post
It's very clear in the FAQ - How can I cancel or delete my account? ... https://forums.psychcentral.com/faq....ni#faq_removal
if only it was that easy as your link when in crisis...

first a person in crisis has to click on the FAQ/ help link that is in the small blue bar, not in the main tabs that are larger print. when I first needed to look up something here on psych central it was a fellow member that told me how to find the FAQ because on my cell phone FAQ and others in that smaller print bar was not showing up.

then after clicking on FAQ (if a members computer or cell phone has that bar showing up) theres a whole listing of links most internet websites put their FAQ like in the guidelines which means members end up trying to read the guidelines and get frustrated because they cant find how to delete their account.

then if they dont give us and actually read to the bottom of the second section of links they find how to delete my account link. which finally brings a person to the page you supplied.

obviously people ......are....... having trouble with locating the information as it is right now, how to delete their account. other wise they wouldnt keep posting delete my account posts and threads.

what Im suggesting is cutting through all that and straight to the point.

having a sticky thread that is labeled delete my account and then information in that thread on the do's and don't. and if replies in that thread are not desired just have the sticky a locked information thread.
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  #8  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 03:20 PM
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We cannot know what each member needs in an immediate situation. It's not clear to me why, for instance, knowing how to delete your account is more important information than knowing how to report a post. Or contact a member of the community support team. Or how to edit the post you just made to leave out some embarrassing information you didn't mean to include...

In other words, that's why we have a Help / FAQ section to begin with. Each person's needs are different in different situations, and we can't know what those are and put a sticky for each thing in the forum -- the forum would be made up of nothing except stickies on the first page.

Which is sort of what the Help / FAQ section is -- a bunch of questions (stickies) trying to lead you to the information that's important to you as quickly as possible.

In fact, we have a sticky notice at the top of every page in this forum, and it's clear that very few members even bother reading that or providing the minimal, basic information we request when someone has a technical issue or concern with the forums. So I don't think more stickies, larger stickies, etc. are the answer.

It has always been a problem and always will be a problem because some people just can't see these options, for whatever reasons, and read the info provided.
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  #9  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 06:11 PM
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Let's face it, most people I've seen that have left quickly have done so because they are upset about something. They are not thinking about what they are writing could be upsetting, or worrisome to others. They may be in a lot of pain themselves.
It's a very diverse group of people here and things like this are going to happen. Do the best you can and move forward.
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  #10  
Old Oct 13, 2017, 06:55 PM
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I just think "Delete my account" posts should be removed as not allowed, just like "goodbye" posts are not allowed. Even in the heat of the moment, I don't see how a "delete my account" post would seem to be faster to someone than directly PM'ing an admin who can actually do that. Otherwise you have to wait for someone to see your post. Why would that be faster than asking an admin directly to do so? It's just common sense. Do people really think that admins are reading every thread that goes up in every forum?

Seesaw
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Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

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  #11  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 05:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
I just think "Delete my account" posts should be removed as not allowed, just like "goodbye" posts are not allowed.

Seesaw
I totally agree! These posts are very upsetting to the
Community. I want to delete my account, makes us feel helpless and quite frankly, hurt!
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  #12  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 07:23 AM
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Originally Posted by seesaw View Post
I just think "Delete my account" posts should be removed as not allowed, just like "goodbye" posts are not allowed. Even in the heat of the moment, I don't see how a "delete my account" post would seem to be faster to someone than directly PM'ing an admin who can actually do that. Otherwise you have to wait for someone to see your post. Why would that be faster than asking an admin directly to do so? It's just common sense. Do people really think that admins are reading every thread that goes up in every forum?

Seesaw


i'm sorry but I disagree.

"goodbye" posts are not allowed, because, in the depression forum (and probably a few other forums), it clearly states the suicide policy and posting a "goodbye" post is upsetting and distressing to members who have tried to help them.

while I agree that delete my account posts can trigger the same response, I don't agree they should be "removed", because, well, for the basic reason that it is freedom of speech.

if someone wants to come on here and post a message that says, I'd like to delete my account, then as distressing as it is, it does allow the members who knew the person to wish them good luck, or what ever they want to do before they delete.

I am still in an agreement with the original idea of this post

a nice sticky thread at the top that is for all people that want to delete

then, if staff don't see the private messxage (for what ever reason), 1 of the other staff- or indeed 1 of the other members can see it and go to that staff member, right, well, this person wanted to delete.

it isn't a bad idea.

i've had worse.

(probably)
Thanks for this!
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  #13  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 07:39 AM
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I would like to think that people who want their account deleted no longer needs the support but I kinda feel that they don't always feel welcome. I know for me I don't always feel welcome posting things here
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  #14  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 08:31 AM
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Originally Posted by shattered sanity View Post
i'm sorry but I disagree.

"goodbye" posts are not allowed, because, in the depression forum (and probably a few other forums), it clearly states the suicide policy and posting a "goodbye" post is upsetting and distressing to members who have tried to help them.

while I agree that delete my account posts can trigger the same response, I don't agree they should be "removed", because, well, for the basic reason that it is freedom of speech.

if someone wants to come on here and post a message that says, I'd like to delete my account, then as distressing as it is, it does allow the members who knew the person to wish them good luck, or what ever they want to do before they delete.

I am still in an agreement with the original idea of this post

a nice sticky thread at the top that is for all people that want to delete

then, if staff don't see the private messxage (for what ever reason), 1 of the other staff- or indeed 1 of the other members can see it and go to that staff member, right, well, this person wanted to delete.

it isn't a bad idea.

i've had worse.

(probably)
It's not just in the depression forum. Goodbye, as in I'm leaving the community, posts are not allowed either. A delete my account thread isn't much different.
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
  #15  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 08:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shattered sanity View Post
i'm sorry but I disagree.

"goodbye" posts are not allowed, because, in the depression forum (and probably a few other forums), it clearly states the suicide policy and posting a "goodbye" post is upsetting and distressing to members who have tried to help them.

while I agree that delete my account posts can trigger the same response, I don't agree they should be "removed", because, well, for the basic reason that it is freedom of speech.

if someone wants to come on here and post a message that says, I'd like to delete my account, then as distressing as it is, it does allow the members who knew the person to wish them good luck, or what ever they want to do before they delete.

I am still in an agreement with the original idea of this post

a nice sticky thread at the top that is for all people that want to delete

then, if staff don't see the private messxage (for what ever reason), 1 of the other staff- or indeed 1 of the other members can see it and go to that staff member, right, well, this person wanted to delete.

it isn't a bad idea.

i've had worse.

(probably)
And we don't have freedom of speech on this forum, otherwise it wouldn't be moderated, posts wouldn't be deleted, and people wouldn't get warnings or get b punished for breaking community guidelines, so that argument is moot.
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
  #16  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 08:42 AM
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I think those who have put some thought into it, and truly want their account deleted, will just PM an admin the correct way and have it done.

Those who post "delete my account" or "goodbye" threads, either:

1) Haven't read the rules and don't know how to go about it the right way (the onus is still on them though to have read the rules though, so this is not an excuse)
2) Are having heat of the moment emotions and somehow believe making a post will make the process faster
3) Are making the post in the hopes that people will reply with reasons for them to stay

I think it would just be so much easier if people read the rules and followed them. "Delete my account" posts are not at all necessary, and affect others in the community.
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  #17  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 08:48 AM
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Just FYI, here is the post that updated the community that "I'm leaving" posts are no longer allowed unless approved by DocJohn.

https://forums.psychcentral.com/rule...%22-posts.html
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
  #18  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 11:01 AM
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amandalouise amandalouise is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shattered sanity View Post
i'm sorry but I disagree.

"goodbye" posts are not allowed, because, in the depression forum (and probably a few other forums), it clearly states the suicide policy and posting a "goodbye" post is upsetting and distressing to members who have tried to help them.

while I agree that delete my account posts can trigger the same response, I don't agree they should be "removed", because, well, for the basic reason that it is freedom of speech.

if someone wants to come on here and post a message that says, I'd like to delete my account, then as distressing as it is, it does allow the members who knew the person to wish them good luck, or what ever they want to do before they delete.

I am still in an agreement with the original idea of this post

a nice sticky thread at the top that is for all people that want to delete

then, if staff don't see the private messxage (for what ever reason), 1 of the other staff- or indeed 1 of the other members can see it and go to that staff member, right, well, this person wanted to delete.

it isn't a bad idea.

i've had worse.

(probably)
um sorry I also disagree here.....

the idea of freedom of speech is something that comes up frequently... here is the guideline on that....

Hey, I thought this was a democracy! Why was my free speech impinged?
Well, the U.S. Constitution's First Amendment applies to the government -- not private businesses or other organizations. So yeah, we're sorry, but this isn't a democracy and you don't have absolute free speech in our community. As long as your post, PM or chat doesn't violate our community guidelines, it is generally allowed.

(found in FAQ pages)

also members are not being kept from telling their friends goodbye. they just have to pm their friends that they are leaving and why. they can still discuss with their friends by pm their goodbyes. just not where its going to upset the whole community. I have in the past used pm to let members know I was taking an extended leave from the site for what ever reasons. pming works very well. no one on the boards got personally offended or scared I was suicidal and there was no infighting on the boards as my friends and I discussed my leaving for a bit during those times when I did take leave of the site. I think of pming like before there were cell phones. some people had private telephone numbers and private phone line where they could be sure that no one else would over hear their discussions. like a journal where no one else except those designated will get to see their most private thoughts, pming is actually a wonderful tool for saying hello, how you doing, good bye and much much more.. the way I see it its just as easy to make a goodbye pm to friends as it is to make a goodbye thread. pm even allows me to send the same post to more than one friend at the same time.

in other words members are not being prevented from saying goodbye. they just have to do so in the way the site allows by private message to those they want to know.
  #19  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by amandalouise View Post
um sorry I also disagree here.....

the idea of freedom of speech is something that comes up frequently... here is the guideline on that....

Hey, I thought this was a democracy! Why was my free speech impinged?
Well, the U.S. Constitution's First Amendment applies to the government -- not private businesses or other organizations. So yeah, we're sorry, but this isn't a democracy and you don't have absolute free speech in our community. As long as your post, PM or chat doesn't violate our community guidelines, it is generally allowed.

(found in FAQ pages)

also members are not being kept from telling their friends goodbye. they just have to pm their friends that they are leaving and why. they can still discuss with their friends by pm their goodbyes. just not where its going to upset the whole community. I have in the past used pm to let members know I was taking an extended leave from the site for what ever reasons. pming works very well. no one on the boards got personally offended or scared I was suicidal and there was no infighting on the boards as my friends and I discussed my leaving for a bit during those times when I did take leave of the site. I think of pming like before there were cell phones. some people had private telephone numbers and private phone line where they could be sure that no one else would over hear their discussions. like a journal where no one else except those designated will get to see their most private thoughts, pming is actually a wonderful tool for saying hello, how you doing, good bye and much much more.. the way I see it its just as easy to make a goodbye pm to friends as it is to make a goodbye thread. pm even allows me to send the same post to more than one friend at the same time.

in other words members are not being prevented from saying goodbye. they just have to do so in the way the site allows by private message to those they want to know.
I can see also where people need it to be done quickly possibly for legal reasons if they are involved in a divorce or custody situation, but even in that instance, PMing an administrator is still going to be faster than posting a thread.

I do find the deletion threads upsetting and disturbing. Some people leave because they decide they don't like the community, and that's upsetting to me because, even though I fail sometimes, I know I try to give constructive feedback and make supportive comments. I know we are all striving to create a safe, supportive place here. So in a way, it feels a little like a slap in the face.

In other instances, when someone whose given you advice or that you relied on suddenly posts that they're deleting their account, it does give you cause for worry and also creates doubts about your own stability in your head.

I just personally feel that the deletion threads serve much like the goodbye threads and create more harm than good. I think, as AmandaLouise put it, they can PM people that they are leaving and their reasons why instead of causing distress to the whole community.
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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  #20  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 05:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch View Post
I hate seeing those "please delete my account" posts when admins could just be pm'ed.

Really sad to me personally when some members leave *sigh*
It’s very sad to me as well when some members leave

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  #21  
Old Oct 14, 2017, 08:35 PM
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Originally Posted by cakeladie View Post
I would like to think that people who want their account deleted no longer needs the support but I kinda feel that they don't always feel welcome. I know for me I don't always feel welcome posting things here
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  #22  
Old Oct 15, 2017, 03:46 PM
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Just my personal opinion, I’ve been thinking about this thread ... I haven’t deleted my account but can imagine that someone in extreme distress may well struggle to pm all their friends ... and then some friends might not be told, not out of lack of care, but again someone in extreme distress may make a mistake. So it isn’t a perfect solution to simply pm friends, in my opinion. Far from perfect.

If I were to delete my account.... well there are many many people here I care about ..

And I’m not going to delete my account, I find for me “taking a break” and if necessary messaging a few people to tell them works.

I doubt if any of us can avoid unintentionally triggering anyone at all during our membership here. . If only it was a perfect world..

I hope this makes sense.

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  #23  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 09:21 PM
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I think there also needs to be a sticky to tell how to put other members on ignore because a lot of people post about that too. It gets passive aggressive in a way when they mention WHY they're ignoring the person.
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  #24  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 11:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post


Just my personal opinion, I’ve been thinking about this thread ... I haven’t deleted my account but can imagine that someone in extreme distress may well struggle to pm all their friends ... and then some friends might not be told, not out of lack of care, but again someone in extreme distress may make a mistake. So it isn’t a perfect solution to simply pm friends, in my opinion. Far from perfect.

If I were to delete my account.... well there are many many people here I care about ..

And I’m not going to delete my account, I find for me “taking a break” and if necessary messaging a few people to tell them works.

I doubt if any of us can avoid unintentionally triggering anyone at all during our membership here. . If only it was a perfect world..

I hope this makes sense.

It's not a perfect system, to ask that people PM their friends to let them know they are leaving, but the fact remains that "goodbye" posts are not allowed and the "delete my account" posts become goodbye posts by default. Even in the heat of the moment, I don't see why someone would think posting a random thread would be viewed any faster by a team of volunteer admins than a PM sent to them directly. There's no sense in that.

Even on FB or other social media, people have enough common sense to look up the FAQS before deleting the accounts to find out how to do so.

This is an anonymous community. As much as we'd like to think we know each other, we dont. We only know what people choose to reveal about themselves. People leave for all sorts of reasons and they do it every day, just like we get new members every day. It shouldn't disrupt the entire communty.

But again that's just my take.

Seesaw
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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  #25  
Old Oct 19, 2017, 11:01 PM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,406
Quote:
Originally Posted by iPhone View Post
I think there also needs to be a sticky to tell how to put other members on ignore because a lot of people post about that too. It gets passive aggressive in a way when they mention WHY they're ignoring the person.
Absolutely agree.
__________________


What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?

Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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