[PTSDsurvivor]

Hi, I am new to this forum. Thought I'd give a my history: physical abuse from father (he had explosive rage; I suspect he was on the beginning level of borderline personality spectrum). Mother was shut down and detached due to early bereavements and did not intervene or comfort when I was beaten up or verbally abused. I relied heavily on dissociative defenses up until quite recently when I made progress with therapist. Eating disorders in adolescence. Depression and anxiety, especially social and health anxiety . . . Worry about illnesses and spend inordinate amount of time reading about them. A feeling that life is treacherous and so much can go wrong looms large in my mind. My recent fortieth birthday, my uncle's death due to terminal illness, and father's skin illness all precipated severe panic disorder two years ago. This drove me to seek a therapists and I am now reaping the rewards. The release of repressed childhood memories have kind of given me a rebirth. There is still a long way to go still. I hope I will give and receive much support here. Does anyone here have health anxiety/somatic disorder or other related issues? It'd be helpful to connect. BTW I am a forty year old Woman from India. Lived for 15 yrs in US and planning to back to US in a few yrs.

[Open Eyes]

I am glad to hear you are in therapy and are getting the validation you need for your childhood.

I noticed you mentioned you are 40 now, make sure you have your estrogen levels checked because you are at that age of menopause where women slowly stop menustrating and begin to experience hormonal changes that can affect their mood.

[PhoenixRain]

I have my own health-related anxiety... not much, but a little bit.
I also have OCD, and worrying about getting sick/dying tends to be a part of it, in my case.
It's totally understandable, considering what you've been through, being constantly on guard and worrying about your physical health... It also gives you a sense of psychological control over yourself and your body, being constantly aware and watchful.
The need for a sense of control and keeping yourself safe and whole is a fairly common thing among survivours of physical abuse.
I'm glad to hear that therapy is helping.
I've also started a new kind of therapy to work on my trauma and understand how meaningful it could be.

[Disorder7]

I have a ton of health anxiety.
( I've had my hormones checked. It's not menopause in my case. )

My father was physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive. I started trauma therapy a couple of months ago. It's helping a little but I have a long way to go.
Take care.

[PTSDsurvivor]

I also doubt it's hormones, because most of issues have been with me for quite some time but yes I did think of menopause and my gyn dismissed it. Of all my issues, it is the panic disorder that bothers me the most. Every episode feels like I am close to psychological disintegration. I guess that is what panic attacks are to everyone. One lives in ones body so the health anxiety has an endless supply of triggers. During the worst of the episodes when it feels like I am being mauled by anxiety, I just pray that no one ever goes through this. It is pure hell.

[Titilia]

I have the diagnosis of Cptsd and yes, I am very familiar with anxiety and somatic issues. I recently came to realize that I've had these symptoms my whole life off and on, but because I left home and created a healthy life for myself, and enjoyed a relatively symptom free few years, I did not realize the impact that my childhood really had on me. I'm still overwhelmed when I begin to think about the gravity of my losses. What I hate the most is the fact that my body never relaxes, lets it guard, down, or feels safe. I go through different physical sensations all day long... I'm relatively calm at home, but when I go to my daughters school to pick her up I'm carrying all this fear and anxiety... It's as if I just don't feel safe, and I don't know how to. Everywhere I go I think about what I can do to manage myself while I'm out there... It's exhausting. It's the worst part, the somatic issues, because I have no control over them...

[Numbed]

For body anxiety type stuff, if you experience a feeling, like if you have hyperawareness of your body, don't check online for symptoms, because you're just reinforcing it.
If anything just conscious acknowledge, shrug and let it pass.

I had it for a while, then stopped searching obsessively for symptoms, one day, and my anxiety has gone down (anxiety for other stuff still)

I have CPTSD Emotionally, verbally, psychologically abuse my entire childhood.

Hopefully this works for you though guys though. Helped me