When were you first diagnosed?

I was diagnosed about 2.5 years ago officially. But we think maybe the PTSD started after I witnessed my grandfathers death, about 5-6 yoa.

Officially 10 years ago

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I was diagnosed with PTSD at a trauma center in my early 20's.
30 years ago. I went into crisis after my ex-fiancé had held me hostage at gunpoint for 3 days before I was able to escape. In therapy, many of the childhood traumas surfaced.
I was in treatment then. I took a few years off of treatment.
I have been with the same trauma pdoc for 20 years now. Trauma info is still surfacing -- new info.


WC

WC, Congratulations on all the good work you've done on your recovery. Hang in there!

Wow, you guys have a considerable jump on me with therapy and skills. Also bums me out that you are still struggling with this for so long. Anything you would have done differently?

I would not have dropped out of coda after 2 years. That's about it. It's a mental health disability. I've had 10 years of treatment and I feel fine relatively speaking. For me it was a work related thing, I got diagnosed as the result of my divorce and trying to go back to work. Therapy is not supposed to feel good. It's supposed to hurt. As you get stronger you will get better. That's all I can promise you. You have to work through the pain. There's no other way.

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CODA?
Thanks, not sure to make out of your therapy comment. I don't want to hurt anymore than I already do.

Codependents anonymous. Therapy hurts because you're learning how to walk again. You've endured a psychic injury that's immobilized you and you need to learn to walk again. Therapy hurts but then you work through it and you feel better. There's no way around it if you want to get stronger and healthier. That's why it's call therapy. You can take little steps. The pace at which you recover is up to you. I had to get better because I was responsible for a child so I was very proactive about my rehabilitation.

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Hi Trace,

20 years ago, there were different theories and different treatment options.
Things have changed considerably.

Even to this day, not every pdoc/therapist specializing in trauma feel they should do anything to re-traumatize a client. Each case is different. I don't agree that is has to hurt. I have seen some of the best, in fact an author/researcher we mention here (for a consult, etc.) and he does not always use the same approach with everyone. It depends upon the individual.
While he highly publicizes some approaches, he said he would not use them in my case.

It is truly not a "one size fits all" type of a remedy.

We must try to discern what we are willing to try, what makes sense, or what fits best for us. We can use the input of experts, and I do mean experts.
I, personally, feel DBT, like AA program, can help anyone to have a better life.

Trace, anything healthy which releases endorphins, changes your mood to a better one, distracts you from trauma memories, etc, is going to help you in the long run.

I have had the best luck with mindfulness, compassion, and Buddhist principles.

Stanford University is doing research on Compassion and they claim it's more potent that mindfulness in healing. They have youtubes all about their research and they also show their talks, featuring teachers of compassion.

One well-known teacher is Tara Brach.
The RAIN of Self-Compassion: https://www.tarabrach.com/meditation...lf-compassion/


WC

P.S. I wish you were nearby. My husband and I would meet you at the fish and game club for some fun! They also have archery!

Hi, nowhere did I say or imply re-traumatization, not even sure that is a therapy method. Therapy hurts because it's teaching you to walk again. I guess the degree of pain depends on how motivated you are to get better. You have to work through it as you do with any injury to return to normal. Nowhere was I advocating that you do it on your own. A skilled therapist knows how far they can push you and how much you can take. PTSD is different from other MI in the sense it was caused by an injury from the outside not by a preexisting condition. That is why I am using these metaphors. I've had a lot of highly skilled professionals and non-professionals help me on my journey to wellness. A good therapist will challenge you to go outside your comfort zone so you can grow.

I've done 4 rounds of DBT. The first 2x I couldn't get through because I was triggered. That is the kind of hurt I am talking about. I've never had prolonged exposure therapy. Therapy may make you confront things about yourself you don't want to see. As we know c-PTSD and bpd look quite similar on the surface. In therapy we learn our part in our problems just like we do in AA or any other 12 step program. That also hurts. For example we might learn we push people away or we don't give them a chance. We also might learn that we have given up trying.

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Hi Leomama,

My post is a generalized post, written in response to the OP, Trace, and for readers in general.

It was not written as a response or a counter to what you have or have not mentioned.

I have my own many years of experiences and ideas. I share them as a part of participating. Nothing I write is aimed at anything you've written. We all have our own ideas and experiences, independent of one another's experiences and statements.

(((((( Leomama ))))))

I agree not all therapies fit al people, because no one goes through the exact same trauma and it doesn't affect all people the same way. It must be a difficult thing for a T to sort through all the past of a client and come up with a plan, and alt. plan to help them heal.
Yes, I wish I lived closer as well. Sounds like we would have a large time there

I get what both of what you are saying and I think you both are right. I guess it would be emotionally painful to dig through the core trauma. So much of what we talk about is just surface trauma, so getting into the core of things could really be bad. I really don't think the T's will get the CPTSD training they need until it becomes a diagnosis itself. Pete Walker's book and website is the best for getting the truth about CPTSD. I look through the book when I have a question mostly and usually find something to put me at ease. Thanks for responding.

You can benefit from having your PTSD treated as well as DBT. Please give your therapist and DBT a chance. I'm not really talking about core trauma , I'm talking about addressing how the trauma has affected how you relate to others , how the trauma has affected how you perceive yourself .

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You had stated you disagreed with me. In the interest of not creating controversy on the OP thread I'm going to let you take it from here on this one.

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So when you were fist diagnosed, how long do you think you endured the C-PTSD without knowing what it was?

I'm not sure when I was officially dx with ptsd. Several people I worked with both professionally and personally implied trauma played a huge role in my life, but the official dx from pdocs had been borderline, major depression, and anxiety for a long time. It wasn't until I started seeing a dedicated trauma therapist 7 years ago that a ptsd dx was ever discussed with me. Flashbacks have been an issue since I was 17 (when I left my abusive household) and I was always open about them with my treatment providers. That was 13 years before anyone mentioned ptsd (with 12 of those 13 years in therapy)... I've been dissociative most my life, but again, it wasn't discussed until I was in my 30's.

Even now that the dx is more accurate, treatment has been slow for a few reasons; I wasn'twasn't stable enough to do any really trauma work until about 3 years ago, I didn't have a stable therapist after I moved (switching therapists every 3 months makes it hard to get anywhere), and the move brought up a while host of intense symptoms... I'm back with the trauma t who introduced the idea of ptsd & we're finally, slowly getting somewhere.

I definitely agree with the previous posters who stated that trauma work is highly individualized. I saw one had touted dbt being something that helps everyone... I have to disagree. I think it can help a lot of people, but it can be quite traumatizing to others. I've tried dbt 7 or 8 times in the past 10 years, and each time was highly triggering. Regardless of how "stable" I was at the time it started, I always ended up highly dissociative and hospitalized. I've learned it's definitely not an option for me... It's all about trying different things and seeing what works for you. Hopefully you don't have to run the gamut of options before finding what works though. It's certainly easier to pinpoint what *doesn't work*, as those indicators pop up rather fast most of the time. It's been a much harder task finding what really makes a positive impact for me, rather than just doesn't send me into a tailspin...

I totally get what you are saying here and agree that you have to find the right fit with a T as well as a healing modality. DBT has been very triggering for me also, thus the dissociating through the classes, but I want to give it a try and see. Maybe something will click and all of this information will make sense and help. At first I thought this was something that just started after finding Dad. One situation, caused it all, so that shouldn't be that hard to fix, right? Well now I know that it went much deeper than that and it's been something I have been dealing with a long time. Even though I thought I had dealt with those trauma memories already in a healthy way, and filed them away. I may give EMDR another chance once I get to a place where I feel I can. I guess I'm just thankful that I was functional for so long with it *sigh* I do wish I could get over this hump though. I'm tired of working so hard at it and with it controlling me instead of the other way around. Maybe in time

I wasn't diagnosed until 2012, when I had my VA evaluation done. I've had CPTSD since early childhood but was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality disorder in the early 90s.

My guess would be that when I was young the defining lines of what Mental Illness was ...was different. There were probably not as many options and certainly the diagnosis PTSD wasn't around. So my guess would be that many were diagnosed with Anxiety, Depression and such. Maybe soon the DSM will recognize CPTSD as diagnosis on it's own merit, instead of a sub symptom of PTSD.
I would hate to be a T trying to figure out a treatment plan for CPTSD. It is very complex for the patient and for the T as well I expect. There are so many types of trauma and I doubt one blanket therapy covers them all. It would be easier if it were only one trauma no doubt.

I was diagnosed six years ago. I have worked steadily since then on recovery. It has by no means been easy. Multiple hospitalizations, I went to a residential trauma treatment center. I have been in therapy continuously. I go to CODA and ACA meetings and NAMI meetings. My family doesn't understand or believe my diagnosis. So I have had to build my own support group of strangers, basically.

I found Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy to be helpful. I had a T who was trying to talk me into EMDR, but I just couldn't get into that.

Find a T you trust and stick with them and work it out. I think the residential trauma treatment center, although expensive, was one of the best things I did to help myself. I also did a Partial Hospitalization Program, which is when you spend 5 days a week at the hospital but sleep at home.

I think there are a lot of resources out there you just have to be willing to seek them out.

Seesaw

You have done a lot of work on your journey. Sounds like you did have a lot of resources to work with. Glad you found something that works for you.

Thinking about this...it makes a lot of sense that I had PTSD as a child. Though I'm still glad I didn't know about that diagnosis

6 weeks ago... Had a bit of a melt down...
Therapy, psychiatrist & medication
Kind of like lions, tigers and bears oh, my!

I was diagnosed in 2006, and I'm sure my trauma started when I was 2 or 3.

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