[HD7970GHZ]

Hi everyone,

I want to know how others experience flashbacks. I have experienced PTSD for almost two years now. I definitely relate to the concept of flashbacks but I still don't quite understand what it means to other people. Seems there is a varying definition of what a flashback feels like, how it is experienced and how someone describes it.

For me - I get images and memories of what people did and said. These are intrusive and sometimes come with triggers but often come without warning. The memories and images are associated with painful feelings and emotions, spiraling thoughts and ruminating, anger, tension in body, physiology is thrown all out of whack and I get so frustrated. Sadness, anxiety, fantasies about getting justice and suicidal ideation. The thing I can't stand is that I am ALWAYS on edge in Fight / Flight mode. My body has seen a lot of strain these last two years. I feel 10 years older.

Sometimes I cannot for the life of me get these people out of my head, even when I am doing Intense Exercise and other very stimulating skills and coping techniques. I try my hardest not to think about these things but they just invade every corner of my mind.

I want out of my body, which is why I think of suicide. The physical pain is something new to me, which from my understanding is often associated with PTSD spectrum issues.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

[Trace14]

Originally Posted by HD7970GHZ

Hi everyone,

I want to know how others experience flashbacks. I have experienced PTSD for almost two years now. I definitely relate to the concept of flashbacks but I still don't quite understand what it means to other people. Seems there is a varying definition of what a flashback feels like, how it is experienced and how someone describes it.

For me - I get images and memories of what people did and said. These are intrusive and sometimes come with triggers but often come without warning. The memories and images are associated with painful feelings and emotions, spiraling thoughts and ruminating, anger, tension in body, physiology is thrown all out of whack and I get so frustrated. Sadness, anxiety, fantasies about getting justice and suicidal ideation. The thing I can't stand is that I am ALWAYS on edge in Fight / Flight mode. My body has seen a lot of strain these last two years. I feel 10 years older.

Sometimes I cannot for the life of me get these people out of my head, even when I am doing Intense Exercise and other very stimulating skills and coping techniques. I try my hardest not to think about these things but they just invade every corner of my mind.

I want out of my body, which is why I think of suicide. The physical pain is something new to me, which from my understanding is often associated with PTSD spectrum issues.

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

Are you on any medications? Therapy? I honestly think the combination of the two help. And yes, you may get a different answer about flash backs from each person you ask, with them all being valid. My flashbacks are sometimes mental images, sometimes smells, or feelings which usually take me to dissociating. At first it was driving me crazy and scared me. Now it's just one of those things. I still don't like it because of the time I lose and information I miss (like in the DBT class) I've been told in time it will get less and less. Looking forward to that day.
Give it some time and talk with a counselor before doing something you really don't need to do.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry you are struggling so much with all this. It can be really difficult to deal with day in and day out...

For me flashbacks most often start as body sensations that sometimes progress to hearing and seeing flashes of past situations, or very out-of-place emotions. The emotional ones are the hardest for me to identify, though I'm getting better at that. The body sensations are the most disturbing and most difficult for me to ground from... I can very much relate to not wanting to be in your body anymore so they would finally stop. I had a very difficult time with that about 5-7 years ago when they started to get very intense. I ended up in and out of the hospital for about a year and a half at that time. I didn't have a trauma t when it all began, which made identifying the flashbacks difficult... once I found my current t, she helped me put words to the experiences. She also had seen reactions to trauma that were similar ,and was able to help me advocate for different treatment at the hospitals when the doctors just wanted to write me of as psychotic (you'd be surprised how many medical professionals believe flashbacks and ptsd only come about as a result of war, and that all flashbacks look like the ones depicted on TV)... I'm slowly learning to sit through my flashbacks or find other ways to tolerate them while working on their roots in therapy. (Though it might be taking me a bit longer because I moved away from where current t practices for 2.5 years. In that time, I didn't have steady or trauma-focused therapy. Now that i'm back to the former t, I'm working on stuff once again... I also ended up with more flashbacks and trauma memories because of the move back to where much of the trauma originally happened)...

I had once found the blog of a trauma t who explained it all really well. He had his own trauma history coupled with a lot of study and work in the field. Unfortunately, he's since given up blogging and the blog is gone... he had written really well about flashbacks and their various forms. I wish I had printed out that post when I first saw it. It was the first time I think I had seen someone other than my own therapist explain flashbacks and trauma in an accurate and understandable way.

As Trace14 suggested, therapy with or without meds would likely be helpful. If you don't already have a therapist, finding someone who has both experience and competency in trauma work would be good. It might take a while to find, but a good therapist can make all the difference.

[Semi-depressed]

My flashbacks are very 'emotion' based. I almost can't speak about how I feel while I am triggered though. Often I feel pressure on me to fix something by myself that feels impossible to fix. Often it is mixed with embarrassment and shame. I feel like I can't even reach out to a best friend and that they are judging me. This locks in tightly with my past.

I don't think I have ever had a visual flashback.

Sent from my Nexus 6 using Tapatalk

[RoseOfSharon]

I would say my flashbacks are primarily emotional - I am triggered back into a feeling of immense fear from childhood abuse, out of proportion to any actual situation of today.
Sometimes there are flashes of my mothers face, but I am not sure that these are flashbacks, just memories. As I understand it, a flashback has to take to back to the trauma.
i agree entirely with the others, find a good therapist, but make sure they are experienced in trauma work. Many wont be. Hopefully you can find someone. And remember, you are not alone in your experiences.

[Unrigged64072835]

I sometimes get emotional flashbacks when I'm in a situation where I'm triggered. Sometimes I get visual flashbacks from out of nowhere, though.

[Open Eyes]

((HD)),

First of all, please understand that if you experience a bad PTSD cycle and get suicidal impulses, NEVER ACT ON THEM. They "do" go away. What you are experiencing when they happen however is being overwhelmed and not wanting to "feel" the emotional challenge of whatever you have experienced that overwhelmed you. With "time" and "patience" you can work through these feelings of dispair and these suicidal impulses do get weaker and so do the other nagging symptoms that you have described.

It takes time to figure out how to identify the triggers that "yes" unfortunately tend to pop up and catch one off guard. The goal is to slowly get so you can feel them coming on and find the initial thought and then learn to develop what is called a "wise" mind that helps you to identify the trigger and gradually use this wise mind to acknowledge the challenge and then make a decision "not" to react. This takes time and requires a lot of "patience" with self.

[LovelyChantel]

I mostly get intrusive thoughts and emotional flashbacks. I also get extremely painful body sensations in my lady parts and other areas of my body which causes me to wonder if they're body memories maybe, which confuses me because I have no memories of abuse like that (penetrative sexual abuse) as a child. I just started seeing a Trauma T (first one I've ever seen) and she told me my homework is not to "read too much" into the sensations, feelings, emotions etc but rather just allow them to be and not judge them. She also said not to ruminate, I know, easier said than done. I obsess and ruminate for hours/days and drive myself crazy. I get random pictures and images that pop in my head on like an internal projection screen that are sometimes followed by intense emotions or panic.

[QueenCopper]

I have horrible flashbacks. I feel like I am back in that moment. Sometimes they are nightmares and I have a hard time waking up. Sometimes they are images in the middle of the day. I can go a few days without being invaded by them but they have been happening a lot lately.
I am in therapy and I am supposed to take meds. I actually keep a dream journal and an adult coloring book beside my bed to help calm me downloaded after a nightmare. It works for the most part. I can't just break out the coloring book at work so I find other ways to try and ground myself.

I hope you find relief soon.

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk