Need Support

In overcoming high high ptsd from being sexually abused/rape and manipulated.
i feel so alone any ideas in ways i can deal or overcome ?

It's going to have to start with trauma therapy. There you will learn grounding techniques, guidance and methods to get better. Until then, we can support you here. Many of us are in the same boat and have endured and even overcome our illness. So, welcome to PC and I hope we can help.

Thank you that means so much to me and i feel relieved to hear that :group hug:

i am doing therapy and DBT skills , and my therapist does EMDR with me, I just am at the stage where I'm deciding whether i should tell my family i told my Dad but not the others .

I am trying to decide if i should pass charges .

Those are some difficult decisions. It took me almost a year, three therapist and hospitalization before I finally told my family. It was hard but I did feel relief when I told my mom. Until then, only my fiance knew. I think I just needed my mother's support and empathy because she had PTSD, as well.

When it comes to pressing charges, I have no experience in that department. Statute of limitations in my states dictates I can't do anything now, any ways, so it's just never been an option for me.

Yes very difficult , and i just don't know what to do I'm so lost and scared , I'm scared of him as well to, also my clinic wants me to go to the ER to get checked out for studs and and everything and get it put in my medical record but i don't know what they would do .
And I'm scared of letting them touch me there .

Also if they try to report it or try to put me into a psych ward because of it if i get to emotional over it .And then after that my doc will follow up with me .

Maybe, having your dad go with you to the ER could provide you some comfort. They want it on record so that if you pursue it in court, it can make the tide change over to your side. They might just want to assist with the shock of what's happened. Being hospitalized myself, many come in very emotional but there are highly trained individuals there to assist you with that.
I know the fear, all too well. It's very debilitating in itself. What do you have had or done that has provided you comfort in the past?

Being with my dog esp and reading as well as listening to music ,warm shower .

hot drinks and sitting by the fire reading, and the hot tub .

Thanks for supporting me in this it makes me feel better.

Hey, any time. That's why I'm here

I suggest doing these thing religiously and let your mind calm down a bit. Anxiety makes things more difficult to go through with what's being asked of you. It's not fair what you're dealing with, to say the least. I have a feeling that you're strong enough to make it through this. You'll fly again, one day and I'm not going to be able to wipe the smile off my face when that happens. You'll be okay and I'll be here in the meantime.

i canceled my doc appt till I'm ready and will try to get the courage to go too the ER.I just don't feel ready quiet yet , i will be seeing my therapist soon this week .

That's okay. Remember, this has to be done on your time, not anybody else's. You control the situation, no one else. Only you are the expert on what's best for you, everyone else is simply a observer.

Very well said, So Leighas.

If and when you decide to visit the ER and/or contact the authorities, having a buddy does help and contacting your local sexual violence resource center (are you in a larger metro area?) can pair you up with an advocate.
Many hugs and blessings

Thank you both so much
i live in the cities and i will try one one of those hotlines might help does not heart to try ,i do have an advocate .My group home staff knows and are my advocates .

I spoke to my doctor who asked how i was feeling an following my lead on the medial side of things and the clinic nurses and staff are just wonderful .

i changed clinics in Oct and am glad i changed .

Im starting to get better and stronger on this little by little each day to the next , and the guy who abused me yelled at me and then next time i see him he acts friendly but i just walk away from him. Im just so confused on the above on how he is reacting .

I have friends at the group home i can trust i can tell them anything an they won't say anything to anyone ,and the advocates are there have been supper to and supportive in all of this ,Sandstorms verses helped as well.

I'm happy you're improving and getting the support you need. Abusers tend to have attitudes and act in very weird ways. I've never understood it.

Yea so true and thanks for the support .

How have other's dealt being examined and checked for std's after the sexual abuse happened?

im kinda nervous ,i don't how to prepare i have a doc appt on Thursday.

Honestly, I'm not sure. Distract yourself until then, I suppose. Don't allow yourself to get too worked up about it. This might be an area others know more about, than me.

I worked in an emergency room and it's no biggie, if you are a woman it's kinda like a pap smear, if you are a male they take a swab to the end of the penis, just inside, not far. They send those off for testing, depending on what they are testing for it can take a few days, or it may happen before you leave. So don't worry about it. It's something to have to do to take care of you. Catch it early and get treatment. The testing is over in no time. You can do this!

I'm scared for that but ill have to trust my Doc i suppose .

How did it go?

It went really well she the doc choose the lease invasive way to check for std and things so i felt relieved I'm really doing better with being over this guy that hurt me .

i did not have to have an exam but do a sample but it went well ,thanks everyone it for the help and support.

I'm glad you didn't have to do a full exam.

I'm sorry that happened to you. You need to give yourself some time to process what happened to you. You're most certainly not alone. I'm here for support for my mil, who has Complex Trauma from her childhood. There's a book called, "On the Threshold of Hope" by Diane Mandt Langerg, PH.D She's wonderful. I'm getting this book for my dil, it may help, it's available through kindle. I downloaded kindle app on my cell phone and am able to read it with my cell phone. You'll find a wonderful counselor to help you through your process. I'm sure you have many feelings that your are dealing with and they are all normal. ((hugs)) dear one

Thank you for your reply , Is it a free book ? and thank you also for your concern i am seeing a therapist , He is still contacting me and asking me for money and acting like its all my fault and wanting me to lie to the staff at the group home that he has changed and so he can get back onto property .

It is so sicking for me to hear him and see him acting this way still , I do and they are coming back up again the feelings again but i'll talk to my therapist and see what she says i have not really dealt with my emotions with it all properly i kindive put it on the back burner for a long time since it happened till i could handle it but will process it with my therapist when I see her next .Thanks again everyone for the support . The director of the group home where I am at refuses to let him on property no matter what .

He thinks he just freely take money from me and never pay me back not this time i won't let him .