Invalidating T: "You don't have PTSD."

Hi all! (or whoever happens to be reading)...

This could be an overreaction on my part, but I'm pretty annoyed with my T right now for invalidating my diagnosis. We have had 24 sessions over the duration of four months. She is an "ED.D" (whatever that is) and is well-versed in EFT and EMDR.

Back story:
After being advised by a highly recommended psychiatrist at a distinguished Boston hospital, I sought out treatment for "Complex PTSD." Relieved to finally have a name for my pain more substantial than "just depression," or "just anxiety", I went about finding a therapist familiar with EMDR.

Today, after a particularly uncomfortable session in which I tried to explain how my fight/flight switch is always on by revealing glimpses into the sort of emotional and (at times) violent abuse that I experienced as a very young girl (sometimes I think there may be some greater traumas too but cannot remember for reasons you all know too well) I was in a delirium of unpleasant thoughts. I broke away from the edge of dissociation when I heard her say "You don't have post-traumatic stress."

...Um, what? I pointed out indeed that yes, I do not fall under all the symptoms pertaining to simple PTSD, but as a result of a childhood from prolonged experiences and the symptoms that I've been experiencing 20 years later...I identify with having C-PTSD.

It got uncomfortable again when she confirmed verbally that she understands the difference between the two types of stress disorders, but that what I experienced could not qualify because it was not abuse in the sense that my life was being directly threatened.

In my head, I'm screaming "F***ING B****, SHUT THE F*** OFF B****!" because this sort of invalidation coming from my Therapist, of all people, was really pissing me off in a way that she had no idea. Instead of voicing my anger, however, I told her in a very calm and collected way that I did not agree with her, prefer to have an actual name of a disorder so as to treat effectively.* I officially shut down after she started her rebuff "it's a matter of semantics..." and she herself seemed peeved.

I hate her. I don't want to have to be uncomfortable again in front of her. She doesn't offer very much in the means of feedback, and is constantly writing while making eye contact with me when I'm sharing. I noticed that she isn't even looking while she writes but her hand is moving at lightning speed even when I'm not talking.

Why is the diagnosis of "C-PTSD" so important to me? Honestly... I'm just so sick of identifying with depression that it is preferable for me to identify depression as a symptom of the C-PTSD versus "simply" being depressed/it seems preferable to "have" a stress "disorder" instead of a mood/personality one. I realize this may offend some people, and I'm sorry. Maybe I'm not even making any sense to anyone besides myself in writing this.

Didn't want to write a novel here. *I came across this (what I found to be) comforting article on healing: Heal Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder: Learn To Live More Gently | Psychology in Every Day Life | A Publication By Dr. Deborah Khoshaba

"PTSD is not what is wrong with you; it is about what happened to you."

Should I take a break from this T?

What are your options? Can you find another T that you might feel comfortable with? I think sometimes we give T's way too much credit and the give them the wheel to our lives when we are hurting. When they lose control of the wheel and throw us into a tail spin it does make us angry. We expected better from them. They want us to feel safe with them but they give us no reason to feel safe with them. I get it, I really do. Only you can answer that question about taking a break, just give it some thought and make sure you will be okay if you do.
Thanks for the article

Wow, that sounds like an unhelpful T response! I know my T isn't keen on labels, but my knowledge of the stuff that's written about CPTSD, emotional abuse can produce symptoms consistent with the diagnosis.

I think if my T and I had a disagreement over issues that were really important to me, I'd seek out another T who I felt "got me" more. The quality of the T relationship is important.

Is it an issue you can agree to differ on? Or is it a deal breaker for you?

I am so sorry that your T is so insensitive. I have PTSD & know how 'it' affects you. I think if it were me firstly, i d ask your T exactly what brings her to her decision & secondly, I'd ask her what her diagnoses is & how she came to that decision & then I would ask her to give me the name of a competent therapist. I would not accept any one speaking to me in that manner. It's hard, insensitive, cold & lacking in empathy of your feelings.
Good luck, but don't just stay with her because it's convenient! xXx

I wouldn't stay with her. You're paying her to help you, not listen to her judgments.

It doesn't sound like your therapist truly understands C-PTSD, whether she says so or not, nor PTSD for that matter.

Unfortunately, it seems to be hard to find therapists that are well-versed in trauma therapy. I wasn't sure what the ED.D designation stands for so I googled it and this is what I found:

Honestly, I would look for a therapist with a LCSW designation. The training they go through for counseling is very stringent. Or go with a psychologist.

Best of luck!

I think you need to find a new therapist, preferably one that is experienced with doing trauma work. Psychologists who don't have experience exposure to trauma patients can really miss the red flags for PTSD and diagnose other things when what they are really seeing are all the symptoms of PTSD.

After more then 10 years of doing CBT therapy I was dx'd with PTSD and probably CPTSD thru psychological testing. Started looking for an EMDR therapist and have been with my wonderful one for about 2 years now. We spent 2 months getting to know each other before even attempting EMDR. I love her and she definitely vadilates me in every way, often saying my psych doesn't understand PTSD and disagrees with my Bipolar dx. It's my family that's a problem and don't understand PTSD so I just don't talk about it. When I get triggered and shut down my 3 adult daughters just say "mom just can't take criticism". Said sarcastically. And they just love giving me their words of wisdom, often treating me like a child. After Mother's Day yesterday I have decided to stop sharing personal info with them (or at least try to) as I feel everything I do is wrong.

I agree you should definitely find a new therapist. How can you trust this woman again, open up to her about your abusive past when she treats and talks to your this way?

Just my opinion. You have to trust your gut and do what you feel is right and best for you.

Hello Mary Louise and welcome to PC. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with your family. I think that is a common reaction with some families because they don't understand what you are going through. Maybe you could find some literature and leave laying around for them to read. Or maybe a Pete Walker book. Kati Morton.com has a lot of videos on youtube that talks about all things mental health. She's a really good resource to find out more about a condition. We are always here, so if you need to talk just come on back. You are always welcome here.