I'm Stuck in a Loop

I'm moving to Tennessee in April. Yes, those states feel more like home to me than my native state of California.

I hope you are in a better place today!! I just saw this and wanted you to know I’m sending you hope.

Thank you. Today, I just feel medicated. My head is in the same place, but too tired to handle everything.

"I'm gazing upward, a world I can't embrace
There's only thorns and splinters, venom in my veins
It's okay to cry out, when it's driving you insane
But somehow someday, I'll have to face the pain"

-Five Finger Death Punch, 'Cold'.

If it’s ok, I am feeling what you are saying.

I get in those loops too and it feels so immobilizing. You’re just stuck there like a recording on repeat.

I don’t know if you journal or not and please forgive me if that sounds lame.

Journaling has dug me out of loops like that before.

The feelings and emotions that I felt were looking for somewhere to be and be heard.

When I got them out and gave them
Space to be heard and be seen (written and looked at and read) it made a difference.

Thinking of you.

I haven't written a journal in a while. I'll go ahead and try to write one and see how I feel.

Só leigheas,

Hope you got some sleep and today is a little better. I love my first cups of coffee in the morning and then make breakfast later when I get hungry. I like omelets but now have them every other day instead of daily (my cholesterol--I will be checking it in a month or so--if it is still high I might have to give up the omelets.). On the off days I have oatmeal or yogurt and granola or fruit like strawberries and bananas....

Food and I have a love/hate relationship. I do cook when I'm feeling trapped. It just gives me an objective. I clean for the same reason.

Today has been even harder than normal. I had therapy and just felt worse afterward (which isn't normal). Tomorrow is my birthday which isn't helping my mood at all. It's also a bad anniversary day for me. I'm only celebrating because my mom wants to, and I don't have the heart to deny it from her.

I think I'm just going to take my meds and go to sleep. I don't want to be awake.

Thanks, Hoping. Hopefully today won't be so bad.

happy birthday!!!!!!!

Thank you, Trace.