Therapist figured out the underlying causes ...now it has surfaced.

Couple of weeks ago my boyfriend and I started seeing a couples therapist. With intent for the therapist to do couple and individual therapist. Since we have been arguing non stop and it has questioned us if were are meant to be together.

Every session that I have attended has been difficult, I've cried I cannot hold back how I truly feel which is hurt. There are some issue that we are trying to figure out but the therapist believes that I have some underlying issues that I would need to work on to make the relationship work.

When I was younger, my father left when I was about 10. He reappeared in my life about three years ago. While he was gone and I was a teenager, I was every disobedient towards my mother and going through the adolescent stage was difficult for me because i had no one to turn to. I was pretty much in trouble all the time and was sent a away for a while. Now that I am much older I do see what had happened and the way I act at times is because the fear of being left behind.

I feel a bit assumed that this has resurfaced and I think this was the cause for me to act the way I do at times and not have successful relationship. At this time I have to work on this to get some where in life.....just wondering if there are other people like me out there.

Oh there are many many people "out there" and "in here" as well who are/have been in the same place as you. You are ahead of some though, for having the courage to go to couples therapy, and for finding a very important link from the past to your current behavior. I wish you well in the future!

http://www.lifescript.com/Soul/Self/...nment.aspx?p=1
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/43633

Hi, Missquestions, I'm so sorry you are having a difficult time now with your relationship. I take it your father coming back didn't help resolve anything in your young life as a teenager? Have you had a good talk to him about his leaving and coming back, gotten an adult view of what was going on? I found that talking to my stepmother about her childhood and general background helped me with issues I had with her while I was growing up. It didn't change anything but did make me feel better and less separated from her in feeling. I learned we were a lot alike which is part of why we treated each other so badly. But knowing some of her difficulties made her more "human" and I felt less alone. Maybe talking to your father would help you?