Don't know where to post this? How to believe in yourself and the future?

Hello everyone.

I didn't know where to post this, but basically I don't think I'm depressed anymore, yes I do feel very lonely sometmies, to the point where I cry so hard my stomach hurts.

I feel like I'm carrying this pain around with me. And I'm calm with it. In the past, pain used to pull me down. Now, these couple of days, I'm finding strenght in pain.

The issue is, I feel very insecure financially. I'm following my dreams of being an actor and once i got here, I'm told I need to lose weight just a little, for a month or so. That's fine, I can do it.

The thing is I feel very restless and nervous when I don't have a job. or some form of income coming in. I'm spending my savings, which I have sufficient for 1 and half year. But I fear what will i do when that goes away?

I'm scared of the future. I fear that nothing good will happen to me and i'll have to go back. I constantly am under this fear.

I fear nothing will happen, i'll go back, and then I'll be broke. and unmarried.

How do i cope with this? i REALLY REALLY need your help, this is pulling me down and I can't function.

I also worry about my future often. I read different websites on the topic and the main answers were the future is always unknown that things will happen that you wont expect, or that you cant prevent.
It is a scary truth. It helps to try to except that the future is unknown I guess, and to not fight it. It helps me.

Reminds me of the song..

"Que sera, sera,
Whatever will be, will be;
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera,
What will be, will be."

distressed, so sorry you're tangled up with these thoughts and feelings. one of my sons is an actor, SAG, and also an artist. both professions can be up and down. money one day, looking for an audition the next. do you have another skill you can put to use when you're not acting/auditioning, etc? my son does that during a dry spell. he commissions art work.
fear-the only thing to fear is fear itself. it will take up so much mental energy you need to keep. try to live each day with a driven purpose. stay in the moment. projecting the what-ifs is futile.
be sure you have an agent who's sending u out a lot and network with other actors. it is practice if you don't get the part and gives you exposure to the decision makers. are you in LA or NY? i may have some other ideas re where u are. my son was/is in both.
you know u can pm me anytime. i care, friend.