[SamiElding]

It's really getting to the point where I'm thinking the definition of insane was written exclusively to keep people in line... The idea that everybody around me in my local life has some level of unreal disconnect is getting to me. Their levels of hypocrisy are eroding my belief that this life I'm living on this side of dreams is real. Makes me wish I could sleep more... my dreams make more sense.
The biggest part that gets to me is the fact that I'm being expected to be emotionless in truth. They want me to EXPRESS only the emotions that are immediately convenient to them, but to not truely experience or express any real emotion at all. These same people are so adversely emotional, and yet so sure they do not have any emotion, that they are willing to boldly state that MY problems are mainly just my inability to accomodate their emotions!

Key repeating scenario being the "threat" statement. I will be trying to acquire an apology for an instance where someone jumped down my throat in reaction to something I didn't do, and I get brought to tears. They ask me why my voice is getting so rough, and I state clearly that it is because I am doing my best not to sob. They get immiately MUCH more confrontive, stating that I need to "Stop threatening them with my manipulative emotions".
Okay... so if you slap me in hte face and I bruise, I'm threatening you, so you need to slap me again and harder, because you know if you hit me hard enough, eventually I'll stop bruising?

Life is messed up. I am not human. Humans react in a way that makes no sense. I must be something else. They sure think that's the case.

[IceCreamKid]

Who is they?

[Open Eyes]

Well, if I were to answer that question IceCreamKid, well it would have to be in a book. SamiElding, I know what you mean.

[Direction]

Originally Posted by SamiElding

Okay... so if you slap me in hte face and I bruise, I'm threatening you, so you need to slap me again and harder, because you know if you hit me hard enough, eventually I'll stop bruising?

I can relate...my ex really knew how to push my buttons...especially when I was really down...that's when she would go in for the big buttons...at least it felt that way

[black sheep]

I know where you are. I`ve had that all my life. Growing up with someone like that will either make the child develop the same problem or become a victim like you and I. I became the victim for my family and it spread to friends who abandoned me. Some people don`t have the mental problem but help those that do. I call them scardy cats. I finally moved away from all of them and are not going to be in contact with them unless it`s in court. I have learned to keep my heart to myself for a while and aren`t letting the next one who comes along get their way. I`m not a nacissist, but I think I`m getting meaner by the minute and will have those types of people running away with their tails tucked!

[SamiElding]

I can understand one... or two people within a community with this problem, but I can't find a one who ISN'T out to slam me around every corner. It's like there's some kind of network where everybody who knows anything about my failed past shares their ideas about how to break me further. Why do so many people in my life feel divinely inspired to beat the crap out of me?

[black sheep]

I feel the same way. I`ve gotten back in touch with people who knew me when I wasn`t around them before. They say my personality changes when these people are around. I guess it` s us questioning if they have changed and afraid they haven`t. Maybe it`s vibes we put off that turns everyone away, don`t know. I`m not going back again. The 3rd times a charm. Here`s a couple of things to remember. You do nothing to bother a severe mentally ill person. Go out of your way, do what they want to avoid any of their crazy reactions. See how we do them? We walk softly around them. Secondly, look how many people thought Noah was crazy. None of them lived long enough to change their mind.