[black sheep]

I left town almost 2 weeks ago to settle to start a new life without the gossip, lies and slander. I only had a couple of friends who I do stay in contact with who does care, has seen the vicious acts and didn`t turn on me. No one in the immediate family has tried to contact me in anyway to find out how we are. A couple of their friends have tried, but not family. When narcissists are out to destroy someone, it doesn`t matter if they are supported, as long as the victim doesn`t have support. I had my son`s mother in law try to call, I didn`t answer. Last night she sent an email saying she missed and loved us, how we were doing and she wouldn`t tell anybody where we were. She said she was sorry for whatever she had done to make me not want to talk to her, whatever it was she was so sorry. (cont`d next post)

[black sheep]

I started not to reply, but I know she does care and love the baby and at least she asked. I wrote back and said we were fine, not to worry. What she had done was disappointing and I don`t trust anyone anymore. I said I had noticed she had become friends with everybody and seem to know things she wouldn`t have known unless she listened to them and since she had denied talking to them, that was dishonest. I told her the only way to have a civil relationship with them is either join in the fight or stay out of their way. I gave her a site to read, it descibes what was done to me all my life and I have had enough. I said I was sorry and bye. I got a reply from her husbamd who told me that I had pushed her out of our lives and wrecked hers. She was crying her eyes out and if that was my intention, the mission was accomplished. I wrote back and told him my whole world had been wrecked and you know how that happened. It`s okay for my world to get destroyed but it`s wrong for me to take cover to keep from getting killed. (cont`d)

[black sheep]

A narcissist can burn your house down. You don`t say anything, mainly because of fear from threats or being forgiving. 2 days later they have a flat on their car and it`s all your fault. How irresponsible or mean and sorry person for dropping nails everywhere. They gossip and tell everyone to stay away from you, how mental and cruel. You deserved your house burning down and something else needs to happen for you to stop whatever they make up you`re doing. This morning, my coffee don`t taste good. I have a headache. I`m thinking about going to a church and talking to a preacher. I am a spiritua
christian and do not attend church. Not all christians (church goers) have enemies but it`s strange all my enemies go to church.

[madisgram]

welcome blacksheep. i too protect myself especially family. because i say "there's a pink elephant in the room", it reminds them how dysfunctional they are. so that scares them. as time has gone by i learned to move on, distance myself, protect my own serenity. i know they will never validate my feelings or value me in their life. sometimes a compromise can be met but in my case i finally had enough. it's ok for us to do this.

[black sheep]

Thanks, madisgram. The disappointments got annoying and I know I can survive by myself, that`s why I left. It hurts to know how many friends and family members believe all they hear and never attempt to find out the truth. I got an email from the egg donor of my exsistence, begging me to come spend the night with her. She`s the helpless victim now. I`ve heard it a million times. Broken records are very irritating!!

[Direction]

It sounds like a lot has happened...I hope you are getting some help to sort through this...I do want to just mention that all the people you are cutting off contact from may not necessarily be trying to harm you. When things for me get intense my default mode is to just cut them from my life...I get confused...throw all the people in the "bad" category. I think I've cut out some good people in my life that maybe could have been here still. Just something to think about...keep your distance until things calm down...try not to lash out (thinking son's mother-in-law)...