[kala83]

I get stuck in a frame of mind a lot where I feel like I am worthless that all I do is cerate issues in my life, or for others. Sometime I will forget to say a simple thank you to someone and affects them in the wrong way. They react out of anger and makes me react in the same way.

but what they don't get is that in my mind I feel like all I do is fail cause my failures are pointed out to me far quicker then if I was to do something correctly.

it makes me feel worthless it makes me hate myself, for being a bother to both myself and to other people. And I don't like it, I don't like it I don't like that i hate myself this much that I think that maybe if I did not exist I would not be as much of a bother as I am.

I have had suicidal thoughts for a long long time, but I have never actually tried to..do anything. Which I am glad of, but I do hate feeling like this.

probably should talk about it with councilor.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

It's true. Our faults are pointed out more than our good qualities. Our good qualities are often ignored, forgotten, or not complimented enough and we end up feeling like we are indeed worthless or don't amount to anything.

I wish our societies would learn more how to point out the positive in each other more, so that we will not be as likely to feel so desperate for acknowledgement or attention. Or teach us how to give that to ourselves when we don't get it from others.

thanks for this,

Carol

[kala83]

I realize this is how most people see reality, the issue becomes that what is one person's reality is not the same for another cause our out look on the world and how we view it is not always the same.

I wish I did not struggle as much as others I wish that my physical and mental healther were far better then what they are. I wish I had more meaningful loving relaitonships instead of ones the end suddenly or where not as loving as I wish they could be.

I wish I had better luck at going to school and learning....and making money...but this is how I am..I am sorry if it rubs people the wrong way I am sorry i come off as in cosiderate, or un kind, or even self...I don't ever aim to come off that way.But its not my fault that my thoughts and values don't always come out in the way I wish for them too.

But I know who I am, and I know what I want out of life and I am going to get there, if you think of me in particular way then....thats more your issue then mine.

just sometimes I wish the people that I had these issues with were not my parents.

[jer77od]

Why don't you start doing small things that make you feel good about yourself? Even small things like going to sleep in a made bed, next to a notepad, a pen, and some water. Small things like this help me get any ideas or dreams out for further analysis and waking up to water is just good. I feel better to even make my bed. I've been reading a lot of self promotion/improvement and healing lately. Usually I'm a pretty negative person. But recently I've been trying to catch myself and replace negative thought or comment into a positive one. Like getting dumped. Something better is gonna come along, but we all have our hiccups. Some more then others.

As for a simple forgetfulness of a "thank you", I think small things like that can easily be caught and fixed. It also never hurt to apologize and thank later. Most people are more understanding then you would think.

[peaches100]

Hi Kala83,

I understand feeling worthless. Like you, I've had my mistakes pointed out to me far too many times. After being reminded so often about how you screw things up, you end up feeling pretty worthless, and like you can't do anything right.

It is taking therapy for me to learn how to feel more value toward myself. Are you in therapy?

I am learning that some people are just very critical by nature. Some people naturally go around pointing out people's mistakes. Are the people who are critical toward you also critical toward others? Do they point out other people's mistakes all the time also? If so, then realize that the problem may not be you at all. The problem might be the person who is critical toward everybody else.

It helps also to know that none of us can please everybody all the time. No matter how hard we try, there will always be somebody who will misunderstand us, criticize us, or take offense at what we do. So part of growth is realizing that we can't escape criticism. All we can do is weigh the criticism to see if there is any truth to it. If so, we try to improve ourselves. If not, we have to dismiss it and let it roll off our back.

[kala83]

Originally Posted by peaches100

Hi Kala83,

I understand feeling worthless. Like you, I've had my mistakes pointed out to me far too many times. After being reminded so often about how you screw things up, you end up feeling pretty worthless, and like you can't do anything right.

It is taking therapy for me to learn how to feel more value toward myself. Are you in therapy?

I am learning that some people are just very critical by nature. Some people naturally go around pointing out people's mistakes. Are the people who are critical toward you also critical toward others? Do they point out other people's mistakes all the time also? If so, then realize that the problem may not be you at all. The problem might be the person who is critical toward everybody else.

It helps also to know that none of us can please everybody all the time. No matter how hard we try, there will always be somebody who will misunderstand us, criticize us, or take offense at what we do. So part of growth is realizing that we can't escape criticism. All we can do is weigh the criticism to see if there is any truth to it. If so, we try to improve ourselves. If not, we have to dismiss it and let it roll off our back.

I am going to therapy right now....its general stuff I think...I kind of have to try to organize things of what all I want to talk about on my own.

I am on a wait list of a more extensive therapy for people that have BPD
it doesn't help that not all of diagnosis have been carried out just yet. But I only just started seeking out help a year ago so its a slow process in general.

the issue is where I live right now, is kind of a negative environment. My family has always been quick to critique or judge if they can.

and its difficult to deal with. I want to try doing therapy with my mother so we can improve things. But I have a lot to deal with in general.

[Solitudeisme]

Sounds all too familiar to me...

[confused blue]

you should be very proud of yourself! You are making the efforts to get past and through the feelings your'e having. AND you have acknowledged that it IS a process...and a slow one at that. I wish you all the best in your journey