[tear_drop]

My way with coping with emotions leads to being angry, and lashing out at my poor other half, or being slience and keeping things locked up..

Will i ever accept the fact i suffered a horrible past and accept that i will always be angry, but not letting it effect my relationship?

i find it so difficult being open about myself, when i'm angry i dont know why i am angry, if that makes sense..

i get angry over the little things,and i'm not sure why, they are not triggers or any sort,

i think with my ptsd the angry is going to be there regardless.

but i'm ever so confused to why i am angry most of the time and not knowing why!!

[shezbut]

(((tear_drop)))

I don't know whether or not you or I will ever accept our past and let it go. I'd like to say that we will someday. We sure are suffering in the meantime, as are our loved ones. I, personally, go with withdrawing myself emotionally from relationships to some extent.

Over the years, I have noticed that anger is a lot easier to let out than other emotions. Perhaps you can try looking into that possibility for yourself, and why?? Best wishes sent your way.

[tear_drop]

hi shez,

i was told by my counsellor that angry was apart of my ptsd.. but i'm not sure, i feel i can accept whats happened,but i have the fear of letting go, incase it happens again.. i also punch walls when i'm angry or that i find myself cutting myself..

i hate the fact i cut myself and because i cut myself i get even more angry! its a horrible circle to be

[shezbut]

I understand what you're saying about the anger being quick to present itself as well as the self-blame.

You need to look a little deeper though. How are you at expressing deep fears or sadness? I can see the guilt that you're fighting inside, but was the incident that caused PTSD your fault at all? It wasn't our fault. Sometimes, we fall into harming ourselves (one way or another) habitually. We were unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time. A lot of times, we didn't have the support that we needed to help us work through the trauma/s either.

So often, we immediately blame ourselves for the suffering. We should have known better. We should have fought back harder, or whatever... I doubt that we'll ever forget the pain that we find ourselves gripping onto tightly. We won't forget what we should have done. The hope is that we can develop a healthy set of skills to work through our emotions related to the trauma/s and let go of the self-blame and self-hate. Then, we'll be ready to trust more and enjoy life. That's what I believe.

I haven't gotten there yet ~ but I can see that I need to let go of my self-hate before I can move forward anymore. I hope that you get to that same point and beyond very soon!

[tear_drop]

It wasnt my fault, but i still feel ever so guilty