I am ready to blow up

I need to get this out....it is NOT directed to anyone here.
I hate everything and everyone. Most of all , myself. I hate lies and false friends. I hate people who promise you they'll never leave but do so.So far I have lost all who meant anything. I hate the people involved in my father's death. The hospital, doctors, nurses in ICU who wouldn't take any responsibility. I hate my brother who called me the worst names as my father lay dying.
I hate people who blame without knowing the whole story. I hate this time of year. Spring, birds, flowers...BULL S*it Are those things supposed to make it all better?? When you're raped in the spring time, under those flowering trees, the feeling is never the same.
I hate doctors who claim to care. I hate the 18 th of MAY. I hate the Memorial Day weekend. I hate hope. I hate being dependent. I hate this stinking world.
I hate I hate I hate I HATE ME for still being alive.
Liars! All LIARS!

I understand how you feel, sometimes I hate just the very fact I exist. I don't know how to make you feel better, but I can tell you that you aren't alone and if you need to talk I'm here.

I'm sorry you're struggling. I can so relate, especially about the spring part.

((((((((Calista+12))))))))

Calista, I understand & hear you.

hey calista i'm sorry

I hear you! I hate that I don't have any words to say to take your pain away.

Calista you have been through hell & suffering even today.But please why do you hate yourself?Hate the rapist,hate those who have abused you,hate those who are so callous as to blame you without knowing the facts ;but YOU--you are not blemished by their doings.Just emerge from all this filth to a new level.Look ahead,plan your life,take small baby steps to a better future.I am sure you can do it-you owe it to your own self.Why blow up this life for others'atrocities?
Now that you have vented your feelings are you feeling slightly better?Can you cope ?please visit this link http://jeeteraho.blogspot.in/2010/10...e-is-life.html

Thank you all.((( Mindamarie))) it helps that you can relate, though I'm sorry you can. (((Roseleigh))) spring feel so false. Everyone else is so happy but I'm dying inside. I'm sorry you have reason to hate the spring.
(((roz))) and (((Rose Panachee))) thank you for hearing me and for the support. (((Hankster))) You always seem to be where ever you're needed; How do you do that? (((gma45))) I can feel your empathy. Thank you!
And (((amity))) your website is beautiful. Thank you so much for inviting me to take a look.
Today is another day; I am trying to make it different from yesterday. I am physically sick, though. I am fighting bronchitis and am too tired to feel so angry.
You are all in my heart.

Get well soon my dear.

((((Calista))) my father died around easter. I always get sick when the flowers come up. I have a lot of rage too. I'm sooo sorry you are hurting. Amity that is a lovely link. Calista, i also agree with Amity. Don't hate yourself. Hate the one/s who abused you. I so relate. When my dad died when i was nine my mom started dating a kiddie rapist. You can guess what happened next. I hate too. I hate liars and hypocrites ( dont know how to spell it though) . I hate everyone who condones assault and abuse and looks the other
way. Anger is good. It is a step in the healing process. You are getting better. Just dont misdirect it at yourself. Praying for you.

Likewater If ok. I try not to hate myself. I wish I could have changed something, then maybe I wouldn't. I do think you got the spelling right.
Thank you for the prayers too.

I hate spring too, sorry for all of us that it is so hard to be bipolar and then have other stuff too.
Lou

Thanks for your appreciation likewater.....life seems very hard sometimes & it appears there is no justice in this world,but we have to chug on in the hope of finding a better tomorrow.

I am so so sorry Calista+12!!