[Miss Laura]

Everytime I am let down by someone I get really emotional. I have this friend who cancels frequently on me. I should be ok with it but I'm not. I have spent 40 mins crying and I can't stop. I just texted her saying no worries.

The worst part is last Monday I was so low I wanted to end my life. She hasn't once texted me or asked how I am. I really wanted to talk to her about everything that has been going on. None of my friends have asked how I am. No-one cares about me.

Today I was feeling more up beat now I feel depressed and lonely

[Seshat]

I'm sorry I can't be of much help right now. All I can say is you are not alone, I know the feeling. I have issues with the whole crying thing. If I ever happen to cry in public (which is very, very out of character for me) I feel embarrassed afterwards. If somebody makes me wanna cry I'll hold it in 'till I'm alone because I don't want them to think I'm weak or vulnerable and I don't directly tell/show them they've hurt me.

[gma45]

I am so sorry you are feeling sad. I don't have any answers really, just wanted you to know you are not alone. I do think people care, but sometimes they may have things going on in their lives which you are not aware of and are just not in a position to be of much help. People sometimes are scared and don't know what to say either when it comes to depression. As for your friend that always cancels on you, I think it might be time to let her know how much it upsets you and see what she says and if there is a I don't really care attitude then I would maybe start to think about just cooling that friendship for awhile. I hope things are better today for you, I know it's not the same but... I am here if you need to talk.

(((((Laura)))))

I know this feeling too well, I get like this too like no-one cares especially when I feel low, Maybe call your friend and tell her how you feel

[Miss Laura]

Hey guys,

Thank you!

I have stopped crying and now I just feel empty. I wish I could get over it and forget it. Sometimes I wonder ehy people like me. I try not to let people get close to me as I always end up either getting hurt or hurting someone. I have had failed relationships my whole adult life. When I was younger I had no issues with friends. Now its a nightmare.

I feel so lonely and feel there is no place safe unless its my bed!

[Miss Laura]

Its like as soon as I get disappointed I beat myself up about it and think its all my fault. I hold onto relationships as much as I can. But then I must let go cause things do not last forever.

I feel rejected a lot and when I get rejected I take it out on myself. Its always my fault even when it isn't.

I find letting people into my life too hard as I know they will leave me, hurt me so I try and let people only see me at arm's length. When I do let people in I get hurt. When I am out with friends and the day/evening is coming to an end I get really upset that I will be away from them. I lean on people too much and that is my problem. I know it is my fault. I know I should just be "normal" but I don't know how to be "normal"

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Hey guys,

Thank you!

I have stopped crying and now I just feel empty. I wish I could get over it and forget it. Sometimes I wonder ehy people like me. I try not to let people get close to me as I always end up either getting hurt or hurting someone. I have had failed relationships my whole adult life. When I was younger I had no issues with friends. Now its a nightmare.

I feel so lonely and feel there is no place safe unless its my bed!

If I may just add...it's NOT okay when your friend cancels on you frequently! This is very disrespectful. I'm not the best example of a steadfast friend since I tend to get anxious and flake out on plans and responsibilities. But barring any of that (and even with that) it's not okay. I think you should tell your friend how you feel. I would stick with saying things like, "When we make plans I look forward to spending time with you , and then when the plans are canceled I feel ______." You know? Avoid arguing or engaging in either of you getting defensive. Just let her know how you feel, even if it means you have to text it back to her the next time she cancels.

Maybe she doesn't know it bothers you like it does. And if she does... then it's time to find a new friend!

[dailyhealing]

I understand the fear of being vulnerable and letting people too close. However, I think in order for your outcomes to change something in your behavior may have to change. Easier said than done, especially if you are dealing with depression or anxiety (not sure what you are dealing with).

I agree with the above people who have said it would be helpful to tell your friend(s) how you feel. Sharing real feelings, which is really scary and hard, is the only way I know to build close relationships of any type. Maybe it would be easier to do it by text? And I agree with the above that just keeping it simple by saying how your feelings get hurt when they cancel on you to possibly avoid any defensiveness. Good luck to you.

I'm sorry you are going through a hard time, and also glad you are posting on here! I hope to hear more from you and hope your mood changes for the better.