Can I keep living like a robot?

I am new to this site, for this is the last resort. Hmmm where to start... well.... I found out that my boyfriend slept with my sister 2 yrs ago on my birthday.I found out four months ago. We have been dating for 3 years, and have two beautiful children together. I feel low all the time. My boyfriend had remorse for the first couple days that I found out.. told me he would see a therapist and work on us. That didnt last long at all. I cant talk to him the same, I cant look at him the same. I feel worthless. He doesnt make make me feel as I am loved either. I hate living like this! Walk around the house like a robot...tend to the kids..clean..wash clothes....DEPRESSED! He doesnt even look at me! Im stuck. I have got the two kids, no job, going to school full time. I would leave him, but then I would have nothing. Sometimes I just want to scream on the top of my lungs because I am soo upset, but nobody even hears me. I am worried that he is going to think its ok to keep cheating on me, and he wouldnt even tell me. I dont know what to do, I want to be happy...and I think he think he takes me for granted that I will never leave him because I finacially dependent on him.. What can I do?

Welcome to PC Hollie123! I'm glad you have found this site, there are many supportive people here. I am sorry you are in this difficult situation. The fact that you have kids makes things a bit more problematic. You clearly have trust issues with him, which of course you would since he admitted to cheating on you. He doesn't sound like a very good boyfriend. He has cheated on you, he doesn't take your feelings seriously. It sounds like your depression/bad feelings are related to your relationship not being good. And if your boyfriend is not willing to seek help or work on the relationship then things seem unlikely to get better. Are there options for you if you were to leave him? Is there somewhere else you can stay, etc...

If you go the other route, and try to make things better, then I think a conversation would need to happen where you told him how you felt about things. I wish you well and hope you keep posting on here!

Hi ~ You are definitely in a tough situation. I understand how you feel, and I'm sorry.

You two definitely need couples counseling. I would insist on it!! It sounds like you two don't know HOW to communicate. Many couples don't. A counselor can help you with that, and show you how to be more open and honest. PLUS -- he's got to be more trustworthy -- right now you have no trust in him, and he doesn't seem to be trying to earn your trust BACK. He's GOT to do that before you can even begin to trust him again. What he did was the lowest of low -- sleeping with your SISTER??? That's disgusting. And your SISTER isn't much better for betraying you!!

Please get some counseling for both of you --and if he isn't willing to go, then you'll know he doesn't want to work on the relationship. THEN you'll have to find somewhere to go. Even a shelter would be better than staying with HIM.

I wish you the very best. God bless and please keep us posted. Hugs, Lee

Hi, Hollie, I'm sorry you are feeling stuck. What do you want? It sounds like neither you nor your boyfriend are very committed to one another since you describe your relationship as "dating". I think when one is dating one is not in a committed relationship. That you slept with your boyfriend, and your sister and he slept together during that time also, it does sound like your boyfriend is not too serious about the situation.

I would decide what I wanted and work on that. If you want to keep this relationship, you ask your boyfriend to start counseling and marry; come up with a common plan as to work, school, child care and future life together. If you are not keen to get married or build a stable family life with this particular man then you need to make a plan of your own and discuss it with in insofar as he'll have to contribute to child care and some monetary support. But it is time to make some decisions of your own, whether to work together with this man as a team or pull your own wagon for a bit.

I am sorry your boyfriend has betrayed your trust. You are a full time student, that is good, stick with it so you can get a good job then you will be able to support yourself and your kids on your own. You deserve better, someone that will not take you for granted. You are worth it!

(((Hollie123)))

I am very sorry that your bf and sister had a fling. I can only imagine how that feels for you. Your bf sounds like a real gem. Having kids together definitely complicates things a lot.

I would recommend becoming a lot more insistent with your bf. Like: "We really need to go to a counselor NOW. We need to build a healthier relationship ~ our kids deserve better than what we're giving them right now. Us standing together is real important for our kids to feel safe and loved by us." If your bf is unwilling to go as a couple, go by yourself and work on building strength.

Keep going to school, and get that career. You don't always have to depend on others to keep you going. That education can help boost your self-esteem and income.

Hopefully, you and your sister will be able to be honest with one another about your feelings. Wish you the best!

I think you deserve better treatment from your boyfriend, You can't live like that forever you got to do something to correct things up or life would be worthless. You feel and do the same routine every time.