[rolan86]

I have been in love with this girl for about two years now, and just can't seem to forget her. We have only met in person a handful of times, but we are friends on facebook. I have tried many times messaging her over the time I have known her, and each time has yielded bad results. She always seems incredibly uninterested in speaking with me and usually just drops out mid conversation. Yes, I am aware this is probably a "signal". Yes I know she probably isn't in to me, but I just canNOT get over her. Every time I see her face on facebook, my heart melts, and I just feel that that is the girl for me. I thought she hated me for some reason since I guess I was always pushy and persistent with getting her to hang out with me (she never did of course...), but I ended up randomly running into her out of nowhere not too long ago and she gave me a hug and surprisingly still had my number. So I know she doesn't hate me at least... It sucks, because in college I have been VERY reluctant to pursue any other girl I meet as I truly want to be with this girl. These past two years of college have been a struggle for me with constantly fluctuating thoughts of wanting to just FORGET HER and move on, and wanting to just try going back to her. I just saw new photos of her on facebook, and it looks like she is with another guy now. I don't know if I can take this pain again. I went through it once before and it was horrible. Not trying to sound like a territorial jerk (by no means am I saying she should not be with this guy. she has every right to be happy), but wow... it just tears me up inside seeing this guy with the girl I truly have fallen for. I just don't know what to do. I want to be with her so badly. I would even just be happy seeing her, and just being a friend! I just don't know how. We are not in the same social circles really don't have any mutual friends (I don't really count the mutual friends on facebook), and therefore will never see each other. Really my only way of talking to her is through facebook, and that just makes me feel like a creep... I just don't know what to do. I'm back at home here from college and I want to at least see her once this summer...

Sorry to be blunt but you just have to drop these thoughts and put this in the past. As much as you may want it to be a relationship, it isn't, and there are definite indicators that it never will be.
Move on for your sake.

[extremeloathing]

There are plenty of other relationships to be had with other women. Continually pursuing her will prolong your suffering indefinitely.

[Open Eyes]

(((rolan))),

Ah, I remember I had such a crush on this one guy in high school. I was in a private all girls school but our school and his private school had dances and we interacted with these guys. I was so shy and I didn't know any of the circle of friends he knew either. And I never really got to talk to him, but my heart sure did pound whenever I saw him.

Well that was many years ago and I did have other crushes since him that I never got together with. But years later when I saw some of these guys, I was glad I didn't get involved with them. They lost their looks and they didn't end up being anything much either. And with the way my life and interests went, they would not have been a good match for me.

When you find someone that you are attracted to, often it is easy to fantacize how perfect it would be to be with them. But we can tend to give them qualities that they do not really have and in reality, they would not be a good match for us.

This girl is just your type physically, nothing wrong with that. But it really has to be more than that and in time your tastes may even change a bit.

There is no use getting yourself so emotionally involved and focused on this girl. You need to get yourself busy with other things. There will be other girls out there, REALLY. You just have to get out in the world where they are.

You are still young yet, you are being too defeated before you have even really had a chance to get out there.

I just remembered my daughter had a crush on this one guy in high school too. I am glad she never got together with him, he was so all about himself, it would never have worked and she would have been miserable.

Open Eyes

[brackenbeard]

try to move on. experience things with other women. one thing you shouldn't be keeping yourself for her, that's silly, go head and try new relationships. good luck mang.

[Trippin2.0]

Convincing yourself you're inlove isn't helping your predicament either, you can't be inlove with a total stranger, this obsessive crush you have is just holding you back and robbing you of real experiences. Unfriend her, block her, get her out of your system, bcoz the truth is, she's not going to wake up 1 day and suddenly 'realize' rolan is the 1. I know you're hurting, and I don't mean to be harsh, but getting stuck on this girl is no good for you. Good luck!

[rolan86]

Well one thing is for sure. I can't stop going to her page and seeing her pictures. It just destroys me. So should I unfriend her? I would just feel so weird/bad doing that. She did nothing wrong to me, and would probably be offended by it. Like wtf?? Or maybe she wouldn't even care. I don't know. It's just a really hard decision... Maybe she will understand though.

[NinaNina]

I agree with what everyone has said here, you need to forget her and move on. And as for Faccebook, in my personal opinion, yes I would deleted her from your Facebook. Keeping her on there will make it harder for you to move on because you will keep going onto her profile and basically tormenting yourself. And please do not take offence to this, but I don't think she will be too bothered by it because it doesn't sound like the two of you interact on Facebook much. Good luck

[Trippin2.0]

For someone to actually be offended by being unfriended, they would have to be an actual friend of yours. Unfriend AND BLOCK HER, that way you won't stumble upon her pics and updates, not even via mutual friends. She is already on your mind without any external prompting, which means, you are only torturing YOURSELF with this behaviour, it's N0T doing you ANY good.

[rolan86]

Well, I gave it one more shot. I messaged her asking to hang out. She did the worst. No reply, but updated her fb info, so you KNOW she blatantly ignored you. We can't be friends anymore on facebook. I'm making this mature decision.

[Trippin2.0]

Good for you!