[giveinandcry]

I was so stressed at my job, and felt so lonely living in another country until I found some hope, some light that made things ok. But recently she is leaving soon. I still need to go to work everyday, which I really don't like, and wear this facade that I'm ok but now I need to fight back tears almost constantly. I think a work colleague noticed because she said these past few days I look upset.
This city is nothing to me now but bricks and concrete, it is the people who make a place. I so want to tell someone all my problems but I'm so far from my family and friends back home.
So now I can't think clearly, which will begin to affect work. I become overwhelmed sometimes and my heart starts pounding, I feel panicky. When she leaves I will feel so lonely...I cry in private. I can only describe this and a host of other problems I won't bore people with as eating me until I feel empty, lost. Even walking these few days is hard because my legs feel so heavy. I have an important task happening next week, so much stress.
I don't know what the best thing to do is...if I am in the apartment on my own I just feel worse. Tomorrow I may just head to the bar after work. I feel completely disconnected from the surroundings now, I am walking in a dream. It is a lonely existence...I just want some happiness, obstacles after a while become exhausting

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Give In and Cry -- It can be tough to lose one's best and only friend. It sounds like you are very isolated right now. I understand that feeling of being in a dream when I am so sad, just disconnected from reality.

In this day of cell phones, is it possible that you could afford a pre-paid phone to get in touch with the family and friends you miss so much?

Why are you living so far away from them and can you get back? I can't recommend drinking as a solution, as I know from personal experience it can lead to other worse problems -- but I understand the impulse that makes you look to this as a solution.

Maybe if you just have a drink or two, do you think you might meet someone new and nice at the bar?

I am sorry that you are losing your friend and wishing you all the best. You can come here to tell all your problems.

giveinandcry,

I feel so similar, my circumstances are different, of course. But I feel burdened, heavy, and I am alone.
I want so badly to love again and be loved, to have someone to talk to, who could be here with me. I feel so alone. But I know in my heart, that I will never allow someone in, I cannot allow someone to love me, and I can't risk falling in love. That's a long story, too long to tell, maybe ever.
But I can sympathize with you.
The mental anguish we put ourselves through, so often feels too much to endure.
Good luck with your future.
I hope your life brings you good changes, try to remember, life is allways changing.

Burnt

[Mayflower7]

Hi Giveinandcry and burnt-up,
So sorry to hear of both you're current problems, it is heartbreaking for your friend to be leaving. Is it possible to stay in touch? Though various means.
Is she moving to another area/state or Country? Not sure if an option to look for available positions whereever she's going too?
If very close and she makes a massive difference to your health, happiness and life, maybe an option to think off.
Try going out as well, as staying in can make you feel even more isolated.
It sounds like everyone at work is concerned as well.
Burnt-up,
Someone out there for everybody I really believe in, lots of members to talk to on the forum as well. When the time is right, you're know. I am sure.
If feel alone, forums are great for making friends and Learning new skills/information.
Very true life can be too challenging sometimes.
Take care both, I hope the situations resolve themselves.
Kate

[Mysterygirl202]

Give God a try. He always listens to me. And best part is He talks back through His word- the bible.

[sundaymorning]

Well, you can also tell us. We'll listen.

Do you have time, energy and finance perhaps to find a hobby or a meet-up group. You can find something which fits your schedule.

You'll have some people you see regurlary, something to enjoy and perhaps gain good friends.

[typergirl]

Hey, you can always tell us.. Everyone here seems understanding and maybe you can do something that doesnt cost much at all.. like mail them a letter? Meet some new people at the park? I'm sure you'll have something common with someone there And you get a work out too! hehe