I don't know exactly what is about to come out in this post. I know what I need to say, but I've said it to no one and I just can't quite bring myself to say it here. I feel like maybe I'm having some sort of young-mid-life crisis or revelation. Everything is just changing so fast.

I question whether comfort or excitement are more important. I wonder if everything I've ever believed about myself is real or not. I question what I mean, to myself and others. I question my direction and changing paths now is risky and terrifying.

I want to make a change. A big, possibly foolish change. I'm petrified of change. I guess, minus the details of why or how, this is my feelings as of now.

Funny, this is supposed to be my sanctuary. My say all without fear of judgement and yet I fear the outright truth or facing who I really am even in a forum such as this......

[valyn9]

You make a thread about how you're not going to tell us anything??? *judging judging judging up a storm*

[whatbeanbelieved]

Sounds like you're on the cusp of some sort of change and feeling anxious about whether the decisions you're going to make are "right" or not? (I'm not entirely sure, so do correct me if I got this wrong).

The agony of overthinking is so much less potent than the tragedy of it - because when you panic about an oncoming change, you live through the panic once, experience panic if something does happen to go wrong again while it's happening and then of course spend time reliving and repenting. My sense is that no change is not-undoable, no mistake is unfixable, unless you've killed someone, which I'm assuming you're not considering, and there is PLENTY of time to regret later. Maybe it would help to know what you really want in the first place. (it's okay to want stability inn the face of novelty and change, but which is stronger - and which would be destrcutive if it did't happen?)

[Leed]

Hi hon ! I sounds to me like you want some sort of change, but you aren't sure what you want. You're afraid to make any decision for fear of making the wrong one so you stay in limbo.

That's not a good place to be -- making ANY decision is better than making none. You can't stay in limbo forever. I'd rather make the WRONG decision than not make one at all. You can always correct the one you made.

I hope you don't think I'm judgiingyou because I'm certainly NOT. I used to be caught in limbo myself. I could NEVER make decisions after I got divorced, so I had to seek therapy to get my power back that my husband had taken from me in our marriage. He had completely controlled me to the point that I had no self-esteem at all. Therapy gave it BACK to me, and also gave me my POWER back so that I could make decisions on my own.

Perhaps therapy would help you too. Being in limbo is no fun. Therapy helps you out of limbo and into the stream of things so you can make decisions live the way you want to live. Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee

I don't know if my own situation will help you, but I'll share. If you want to pm me afterwards, go for it. I was recently faced with a LARGE completely life-changing decision to make. I had to decide whether to move 2,600 miles to a completely new, foreign area. The decision was all mine to make. It was extremely scary. There were many, many unknown factors and I've never been one for change either. But I was also facing a very scary situation at home. I am ruled by my memories and flashbacks and "home" had become inundated with bad ones. Plus, my impulsivity was already putting me in precarious situations and if I continued I'd likely end up arrested.....so I decided to go. We've been in our new location for a month now. My mental health issues haven't disappeared by no means and our future in this new place is still uncertain, but I can't regret the decision. It was one that I just had to make to save myself....

[jelly-bean]

Hi. Just from reading your post, I think that you are judging yourself more harshly than anyone else would. You are questioning every decision you make because you don't trust yourself to make or have made the right ones. Just give it some time and know that even though you make a choice what happens with that choice is yours to do. If it doesn't work out just right then work with it to change it. Easier said than done I know but you can make this move and all the other things work better for you than the memories at the place you left. Good Luck!

Originally Posted by Leed

Hi hon ! I sounds to me like you want some sort of change, but you aren't sure what you want. You're afraid to make any decision for fear of making the wrong one so you stay in limbo.

That's not a good place to be -- making ANY decision is better than making none. You can't stay in limbo forever. I'd rather make the WRONG decision than not make one at all. You can always correct the one you made.

I hope you don't think I'm judgiingyou because I'm certainly NOT. I used to be caught in limbo myself. I could NEVER make decisions after I got divorced, so I had to seek therapy to get my power back that my husband had taken from me in our marriage. He had completely controlled me to the point that I had no self-esteem at all. Therapy gave it BACK to me, and also gave me my POWER back so that I could make decisions on my own.

Perhaps therapy would help you too. Being in limbo is no fun. Therapy helps you out of limbo and into the stream of things so you can make decisions live the way you want to live. Best of luck and God bless. Hugs, Lee

This is so it! I'm stuck in limbo and it's horrible. I want to change. The change could be good, but it's drastic life-changing and scary. I wish I could give exact details on the particular issue at hand but I do have a fear of judgement at hand. I just wanted advice from the point of view as to how do you go about making a decision. This sounds obvious enough, but it's just not.

I'm scared that if I decide to accept the change, then it will be a mistake I can never take back, but if I don't take the chance I will stay stuck in this hum drum state.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by valyn9

You make a thread about how you're not going to tell us anything??? *judging judging judging up a storm*

Trying reading the whole post--wow! what a concept!

[Davisb]

Yes...life does take GREAT courage to live by.

Sounds like the right decision has been made for you.

Originally Posted by Maranara

I don't know if my own situation will help you, but I'll share. If you want to pm me afterwards, go for it. I was recently faced with a LARGE completely life-changing decision to make. I had to decide whether to move 2,600 miles to a completely new, foreign area. The decision was all mine to ake. It was extremely scary. There were many, many unknown factors and I've never been one for change either. But I was also facing a very scary situation at home. I am ruled by my memories and flashbacks and "home" had become inundated with bad ones. Plus, my impulsivity was already putting me in precarious situations and if I continued I'd likely end up arrested.....so I decided to go. We've been in our new location for a month now. My mental health issues haven't disappeared by no means and our future in this new place is still uncertain, but I can't regret the decision. It was one that I just had to make to save myself....