[Sunset-L]

I think god is punishing me. I'm in my mid 40's and still haven't experienced a loving relationship with anyone because I always get rejected, I still don't have any friends since my last friends stab me in the back, I still live at home with my mother and my sister, I should be out on my own.. I've been abused most of my life.. I'm not living a normal life that I feel like ending my life.. Well that would be ok because I feel like I don't have a life that I'm better off dead!!

[carrie_ann]

hi there in my opinion, god isn't punishing you, god loves you! it only feels like god is punishing you due to the way your life is as a result of the bad things that have happened to you. but it's not god that has done these things (abuse) to you, and god will make those people answer for it when their time comes.

plz don't take what i say next wrongly, i.e. as harsh, it's meant with love as i often feel the same way you do! god only wants what is best for us and wishes only to help us, but we also have to do the best we can to help ourselves. i.e. god may present us with an opportunity that would be fantastic for us ... if we're too scared to take it, what is god supposed to do?

i'm really truly sorry things are so bad you feel you'd be better off dead and im so sorry im not a good advice giver but you have my thoughts and care.

[lynn P.]

((Sunset-L)) - I'm sorry you're feeling so sad and unhappy with where you are at this stage in your life. Are you in therapy or receiving any treatment at this time? For now don't do anything drastic and always contact mental health professional is you're suicidal. You can't solve problems when you're feeling this upset, so put everything on hold for now. When you do feel better, take things one at a time and figure out what can be done to change how things are. Here's some help links in case you need them.

http://psychcentral.com/helpme.htm

http://www.metanoia.org/

[susan900]

Originally Posted by Sunset-L

I think god is punishing me. I'm in my mid 40's and still haven't experienced a loving relationship with anyone because I always get rejected, I still don't have any friends since my last friends stab me in the back, I still live at home with my mother and my sister, I should be out on my own.. I've been abused most of my life.. I'm not living a normal life that I feel like ending my life.. Well that would be ok because I feel like I don't have a life that I'm better off dead!!

Hi, there,

No, I dont think God is punishing you, its just life is crazy hard sometimes. Try to think that your not alone, there are alot of people who are single at your age. But I know, Rejection is so painful.

Don't think about ending your life, try to think positive, ( I know its hard). I am married, but like tonite, I think my husband don't have a clue what I am feeling sometimes. Hope maybe you can find, some hobbies or classes to get yourself, out so that you can meet new people.

Wishing you all the best of luck

[Leed]

Like Susan said, God does not punish us for things beyond our control. God is a loving, forgiving, God.

You CAN break away from your folks. Have you tried living on your own? I realize that it might be hard after having lived at home all these years. Perhaps you could find a place close to your parents home.

Who has abused you sweetie? Can you talk about it more? Have you been on our Abuse forum? Perhaps you'd like to join that forum and talk about the abuse you've suffered.

PLEASE don't talk about ending your life. You are a VITAL part of the human race and WE CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE YOU!

Can you see a therapist? It would be a good idea if you could speak to a good therapist and get some of these issues taken care of. I hope you can because you're important to us. God bless and please take care! Hugs, Lee

[SolidHurt]

Originally Posted by Sunset-L

I think god is punishing me. I'm in my mid 40's and still haven't experienced a loving relationship with anyone because I always get rejected, I still don't have any friends since my last friends stab me in the back, I still live at home with my mother and my sister, I should be out on my own.. I've been abused most of my life.. I'm not living a normal life that I feel like ending my life.. Well that would be ok because I feel like I don't have a life that I'm better off dead!!

um...first for the girl thing I can relate to the constant rejection and feeling that gods punishing you likely for something that you feel is minor or least for me minor, make friends with multiple girls and take it slow fast screws you royally and forever.(make sure you don't come across as gay unless you are a homosexual and thats the type of relationship you're looking for than I suggest a gay bar and same ****.

um for the friends same boat, uh I don't know.
focus on improving you're career at all cost can attract women.(or dudes)
workout at home using no weights. doesn't have to be much just 20 minutes, I got told to do that last one but I've only managed to do it on occasion still better than nothing I guess.
Life is the most important thing, think about all the people in the world that have it worse and how it'd be an insult to them and you to die because of something pathetic like this, that you can change, you've been around longer but I still think my life is likely more ****ed up than yours.
I don't really know if I'm helping...
Live because there are people with lives worse than you living and that's the least you could do for yourself.

I agree with the others in that sometimes we have to take a bit more responsibility over our lives - no it wasn't your fault you were abused but have you sought our therapy or support groups? If you're experiencing things like depression this usually requires medicating. It can take a while to find the right balance and the same can be said with therapists - please don't give up on them if you've had bad experiences in the past, you owe it to yourself to feel better and sometimes we have to seek help for this Do you feel at the moment you can take on more social commitments? meetups and social groups are a great way to get back out in the community and give you back your sense of self. I don't know why it is your living at home but maybe make having a nice place of your own a goal so that you've got an incentive to continue working hard on improving things. It may take a while to achieve but don't give up - the one with all the power to improve things is you and if you're not happy with the way things are there are steps you can take (at your own pace of course) to start making your life how you want it to be. We're all here to support and encourage you - check out the abuse and spirituality forums in the meantime as im sure you'll meet some great people who are in the same boat. All the best.

[Roukan]

Hello,

You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy. Everyone has this universal life energy that surrounds their physical body. The Chinese referee to this as Chi energy, the Japanese referee to it as Ki energy. Some people call this energy field a person's aurora. This energy field cannot be seen by others, however they can sense what type of energy you are putting off. A lot of it has to do with body language. Gratitude tends to be a good recipe for strengthen one's self-esteem. Be grateful for what you have and stop focusing on the negative things in your life. The universal law of attraction states that positive thinking attracts positive things, and negative thinking attracts negative things.