How do you learn to like yourself when you hate yourself?

Like literally... not sure how to beat this.. since its a contradiction.

maybe a good starting point would be to think about all the good things you've done, and everything in your life you're proud of.

their must be somethings- even if only little?

you could take it 1 step easier you could say, well today i've done this, this, this etc... this is the reason i should love being me.

I was in the exact situation where at a time a HATED myself for things i had done. Can you please be more specific on why it is you hate yourself and maybe we can go from there.

I don't hate myself. I love who I am when I am happy. I hate what depression and anxiety makes me. I hate being myself, essentially.

Sorry that wasn't helpful.

God makes everyone a specific way for a reason. Everyone has their own unique qualities to them: looks, personality, lifestyle, etc..

You learn to accept yourself the way God made you. I am not really a very religious person, but I have learned to accept and love things about myself that I once did not like. I look a certain way because the qualities about me are individual to ME. Any scar or imperfection on my body is a part of ME.

You have to ask yourself : Why do you hate yourself? And realize that the reasons you come up with should be learned to be accepted because that is the way you were meant to be, and if it is a negative quality, it most likely can be worked on.

I've hated myself since I was very young; first, judgmental and condemning parents, then, ample people along the way to cement that belief, but when I finally realized how important I am in this existence because without me it simply does not exist, I have become far more forgiving. It's up to me to care for myself even if no one else does. Does anyone else have a greater right to existence than you do? I couldn't imagine any god saying to you, "I've only got room for one of you, and Mary keeps her house as neat as a pin, so you know where you're going."

edward it is very hard to love yourself when you have always hated yourself I am the same but im currently in a DBT programe and the 1st step is just to like things about yourself ,break it down I bet you have done good things for others and I bet others love you so try focus on what other's see not what you see until you can at least like yourself but again I know its easier said than done .sending you best wishes and hugsssssssss

Our Moder Society imprints low self worth on all of us from birth. Then add family troubles to that, and one really feels bad about one self. Remember most negitive feelings about onself are just imprints, just shadows from the past. Look past the Shadows. It can be done!

Don't think i'm a good person overall- its hard to accept that..

I'm curious what you think you are not a good person. Our thoughts influence our feelings a lot. So if you think that about yourself then to learn to like yourself is an uphill battle. But it is possible.

I like myself more now than I once did. I still have my self-hating moments, but I recognize that is the depression and the negative thinking that goes with it. Do you have a support system? People in your life who see good in you? A therapist? I am not able to make the journey alone, I need people in my life both professionally (therapist) and personally to help me begin to see some good in myself. I had to go through and accept a lot of things about myself that I didn't like, and change those that I could. I don't see a t at this point, but did for many years and know it is always there if I need it again. Anyhow, not sure if this helps or even makes sense.

Thanks for posting and I hope to keep hearing from you.

(((InfiniteSadness)))

I am in DBT as well, and have been struggling with self-hate for as long as I can remember. Most of my self-hate stems from very early-childhood through teenage years ~ a lot of shame that is undeserved (I really don't need to apologize to anyone other than myself for my youth) and requires simple acceptance. Easier said than done to "accept"!

It's a work in progress. DBT is helping me to see that I do partake in good things pretty regularly. I am working on improving my relationships with my daughters ~ and I am really starting to see the progress we've made there. That's good too. I have to remind myself often, by looking at my Diary Card and updating the mindfulness that has taken place.

My T once put it as though my habit of looking at the negative side of my life (and me) is strongly ingrained in my brain. It's going to take time and effort to make new, healthier pathways for my thoughts to follow. Kind of makes sense when I look at it that way.

Are you working with a T? If so, have you two discussed this intense self-hate and questioned him/her for ideas on how to get past these horrible emotions?

Gentle hugs to you.

I know I care for others, and I do help out, when I can, and when I feel it won't be taken the wrong way. I was in the social work field some time ago, but I didn't get along with other health care providers, so my career ended abruptly. I'm a misfit, and I now accept that. I don't try and fit in any more. Life is lonely for me, but I do many things to advance my physical and spiritual self. I don't sit around and mope. Thanks for advice, and the hug; it actually made me feel warm

i understand, sometimes though all there is though is to "sit around and mope". Its like when things dont go your way, or you just have terrible luck, etc. And then you gotta deal with a mental illness on top of the real world/issues. Just get tired of everything, everyone.

why do you hate yourself?

do you hate it because of what you did? or you hate it because you let other people to make you feel that way?

you know most of times people around us affects who we are.. SOCIAL LEARNING THEORY. but still it's up to us if we let them to.

in your case.. i think you should try to reflect to yourself.. and learn acceptance.

Well, wow... i dont like people in general, i dont like the way i look, i dont like im shy and too nice sometimes, etc. also dont feel im worth anything- i believe in nihilism somewhat.

I like the Avatar your useing here. It shows your Power. You have a Crisis Warrior working for you, and YOU are that Warrior.

I feel the same way as Odee. It's helpful to make a list of positive attributes and strengths that you have. Then you can look at them when you're feeling negative. Also, you can try and use on of them to help you out of it. e.g. I woke up late and missed my appointment. You can use, let's say, kindness to yourself, to react to the situation, instead of guilt or anger. Like, I only missed 10 min. and I will do better next time! The key is to not beat yourself up.