Outburst of rage on Christmas

Talked to my mother on the phone today. It turned rather cold on both sides as I refused to show interest for the usual "How was your New-Years-Eve kind of small talk". I had actually forgotten to call her and wish her a happy new year. I told her that and did not show any remorse, because there was none.
While listening to my mother's description of her new years eve party, which I found boring, I noticed that I rather had the wish to talk about Christmas again. So I interrupted her and asked her how she and her husband felt after the Christmas incident, whether they had talked about it again. "So what is there to talk about?" she replied. I told her I did not know, that I was just curious.
I hoped she would ask me how I felt about it, but nothing happened.
My first thought was: "She was never interested in how I felt about things. She hasn't learned anything from the incident."
I felt even more distanced from her, and that's how we ended the call. I told her I had some work to do.

I feel even colder than before, like watching a wall or something.
Probably next step is to accept my sadness or anger because of that.

I know how much it sucks wanting your parent to feel how you want them to feel but sometimes they are too caught up in their thinking. But at the end of the day, she sees you as the child and in her head, no matter what your feelings are, you ought to be respectful. So the best you can do is let her think what she thinks while you know the truth. I know how paiiiiinful it is to want your parents to see your way and acknowledge why you are hurt. But they didn't grow up in the time we did. They are either oblivious or stubborn in their thinking. The only thing you can do is accept that she won't see it the way you see it. That doesn't mean you've necessarily forgiven her or that you should forget it but there's nothing you can do. Just relish in the power that you know the real deal and that she's losing out on a relationship with you because of it.