[Voltin]

I need to have a place that I can put the thoughts I speak tucked away from family ,safe. Burning the paper does the hiding part, but where am I going with my thoughts, I can't remember what I turned around to pick up half the time. I should know if something is a new revelation or a recovered thought from another time. Am I running in circles or not. I think locking a journal away is kind of a joke, I can't remember where I put it or the combination to it. I have passwords written down in a place where they could easily be found ( yes , they are all in one envolope) or I won't remember where they are. Sometimes It feels like looking in the mirror and seeing the the same thing over and over.
Considering therapy talk again, but I'll freeze up on what to talk about...duh... *bury head under pillow* ...won't remember the session recommendations. Notebooks I guess if I could put them where...oh forget it.

[Mindinpieces]

Originally Posted by Voltin

I need to have a place that I can put the thoughts I speak tucked away from family ,safe. Burning the paper does the hiding part, but where am I going with my thoughts, I can't remember what I turned around to pick up half the time. I should know if something is a new revelation or a recovered thought from another time. Am I running in circles or not. I think locking a journal away is kind of a joke, I can't remember where I put it or the combination to it. I have passwords written down in a place where they could easily be found ( yes , they are all in one envolope) or I won't remember where they are. Sometimes It feels like looking in the mirror and seeing the the same thing over and over.
Considering therapy talk again, but I'll freeze up on what to talk about...duh... *bury head under pillow* ...won't remember the session recommendations. Notebooks I guess if I could put them where...oh forget it.

Hi Voltin, I can understand you on this one, this is one of the very reason I don't write down my thoughts in case someone finds them. However this is never helpful because it always good to get the thoguhts down on paper so to speak and out of your head... I know for me it is always better this way.

My suggestion would be does it have to be on paper or in note book. How about typing your thoughts and saving them onto a memory stick which you can keep with you at all times. There still may be the risk if someone finds it and tries to see what is on the memory stick but like I said you can keep it with you all the time. Like zipped up in your bag or pocket or something you carry with you day to day where no one will know you have it on, think of it as your mobile if you got one most people have it with them always throughout the day everywhere they are. Let alone anyone knowing all your thoughts you want to keep private as they shouldn't have acess to it. Just a thought but can be expensive sometimes but not always in getting a memory stick just for your person use which on one knows about. Best not to use one you use for other things in case someone reads some of the things you don't want to be found.

Sorry if I am on help and you prefer writing and this isn't a helpful solution for you. Wishing you all the best MIP

[Chocolatte]

I like Mindinpieces' suggestion.

Another option is, have you tried blogging your thoughts on sites like Blogger or Wordpress? You can set your blog to private so that only you can access it. That's what I do and it works for me.

[Permanent Pajamas]

This may not be a viable option for you but I'll throw it out there.

Digital voice recorders are very small and they have a lot of storage space. I use one to record my dreams, which I then transcribe to a journal.

There are also private online journal sites and blog sites that you can set to be viewable by you alone. They have an array of features just like a forum or a word-processing program.

For a time, when I was an emotionally abused child, I kept a memo book journal. I wrote in tiny tiny letters to stretch its capacity. I kept it in a place where my mother never found it. If you, the OP, want to know where that was PM me and I will tell you privately.

I understand you have a memory issue. Maybe we (posters) can come up with a method for you to remember where you keep your passwords and journals. Believe me when I say I understand your memory issues. I have them too.

[Voltin]

Originally Posted by Mindinpieces

Hi Voltin, I can understand you on this one, this is one of the very reason I don't write down my thoughts in case someone finds them. However this is never helpful because it always good to get the thoguhts down on paper so to speak and out of your head... I know for me it is always better this way.

My suggestion would be does it have to be on paper or in note book. How about typing your thoughts and saving them onto a memory stick which you can keep with you at all times. There still may be the risk if someone finds it and tries to see what is on the memory stick but like I said you can keep it with you all the time. Like zipped up in your bag or pocket or something you carry with you day to day where no one will know you have it on, think of it as your mobile if you got one most people have it with them always throughout the day everywhere they are. Let alone anyone knowing all your thoughts you want to keep private as they shouldn't have acess to it. Just a thought but can be expensive sometimes but not always in getting a memory stick just for your person use which on one knows about. Best not to use one you use for other things in case someone reads some of the things you don't want to be found.

Sorry if I am on help and you prefer writing and this isn't a helpful solution for you. Wishing you all the best MIP

I'll have to find out more on that sugestion !!! Thank you so much
I will bet this could be my answer if cost or my intelligence is not a hinder.

[Voltin]

Originally Posted by Chocolatte

I like Mindinpieces' suggestion.

Another option is, have you tried blogging your thoughts on sites like Blogger or Wordpress? You can set your blog to private so that only you can access it. That's what I do and it works for me.

Blogger ? How do I find it ? Just type in Blogger ? A no cost thing ? That would be wonderful too .
A second possibility for me ! Hugs for you too

[Voltin]

Originally Posted by Permanent Pajamas

This may not be a viable option for you but I'll throw it out there.

Digital voice recorders are very small and they have a lot of storage space. I use one to record my dreams, which I then transcribe to a journal.

There are also private online journal sites and blog sites that you can set to be viewable by you alone. They have an array of features just like a forum or a word-processing program.

For a time, when I was an emotionally abused child, I kept a memo book journal. I wrote in tiny tiny letters to stretch its capacity. I kept it in a place where my mother never found it. If you, the OP, want to know where that was PM me and I will tell you privately.

I understand you have a memory issue. Maybe we (posters) can come up with a method for you to remember where you keep your passwords and journals. Believe me when I say I understand your memory issues. I have them too.

*head on desk * I need help and I'm getting it from people who understand !!!
I never realized how bad my memory has gotten , I'm to the point of wondering if I want to not know anthing :?
I Would need to have a place told to me to hide passwords. If I think of where to hide them , those places would all remain in that line of thought, I'd have to search each one and most likely never find the passwords.
If a place could be told to me , I'd like to try that !!! I you too

[Permanent Pajamas]

You have PM's disabled.

[Chocolatte]

Here's a link to Wordpress and Blogger. They are free. Good luck!

[Permanent Pajamas]

Voltin, I sent you an email with the hiding place.

http://www.blogger.com/profile/07029276124129729393

I blog here. Maybe it will help you too, Volotin. Peace, Brook

[Voltin]

I took Mindinpieces suggestion an used a memory stick for my journal . I just wrote my first entry and when I read what I wrote when I finished , I began to cry .

Thank you all for coming to my call for help.

[happiedasiy]

I am not sure if you are journaling on a computer or in pen on papper but either
way you might consider writting in the "third person" as a story.
Give your self a pen name, that way if family comes accross it you can always say it is about a friends' life or a story, fiction.
You can give the real characters in your life different names.
Be creative.
There are journals with locks at the bookstore, post office has boxes, in you home if you are on the computer buy a blank disk and write there save to disk, then delete file, and you should be fine.
I would also encourage talking to parents in a soft, calm, non defient way. Remember to let a person talk and listen, then reply. Dont react with an emotional outburst. If this does not work then maybe therapy would be good for you.
Hope this helps!
H.

[bodd12]

I have a program on android phone called 'Catch'. Easy four digit code and travels nicely.

[doyoutrustme]

I have a blogger blog, set to private and locked down so it isn't find-able. also set it so the page count doesn't count YOUR visits... that way you can be sure that no one reads it and you can see it has zero hits.

[Voltin]

Originally Posted by doyoutrustme

I have a blogger blog, set to private and locked down so it isn't find-able. also set it so the page count doesn't count YOUR visits... that way you can be sure that no one reads it and you can see it has zero hits.

That's really a good point to know, there is so many things I've learned from everyone .

Thank you !

[ellipsisdream]

I have used Xanga for years. You can journal and have your account set to private, or you can open it up to the community there. You can even set specific entries as private, if you want a happy medium. I love it. It is also free.

[Voltin]

Originally Posted by ellipsisdream

I have used Xanga for years. You can journal and have your account set to private, or you can open it up to the community there. You can even set specific entries as private, if you want a happy medium. I love it. It is also free.

I really like the fact that you can have the options you stated.

I've been afraid to put words to print for so long due to the fear of someone reading them. Freedom at last !

[lonelywoman32]

Voltin,

I use a USB flash drive which is also known as a memory stick. I live alone but I save everything i write for privacy because I sometimes go out of town and have someone to watch my house or In case something happens . I like the ideas that others posted like using a journal book with a lock or using a blogger site and setting it private. I think all those are good ideas. I hope I helped.

[Voltin]

Originally Posted by lonelywoman32

Voltin,

I use a USB flash drive which is also known as a memory stick. I live alone but I save everything i write for privacy because I sometimes go out of town and have someone to watch my house or In case something happens . I like the ideas that others posted like using a journal book with a lock or using a blogger site and setting it private. I think all those are good ideas. I hope I helped.

The help has been fantastic ,I did choose to use the memory stick due to the convenience of keeping it close to me.

I am finding the ability to feel secure knowing only I have total access , and has given me the freedom to let things come to surface. I can read it and say yes that is how I feel and that is how I think. It's not at the point where I really have gotten past the fear of exposure ,I'm guessing that will take time.

I have the baggage of abuse and trust is not something I give to anyone. Then having something happen to where you are being told you have this Disorder of BP , I don't know...maybe five years ago , I am really at this point again finding my self restraining behavior in public with constant checking into everything I feel . Lost of trust in myself. I haven't done anything to warrant it ( I think), but when I put myself in a social situation recently, I was petrified I would become manic. So my hope is things I write might tell me something , if not just give me some relief of unloading.
As of 2 or 3 entries on the memory stick I have felt somewhat more relaxed afterward.
We'll see where I go from here .
Tally ho !